User Reviews

After a couple months of wondering about it I finally sat through BREEDERS [as released by Wizard Video in 1986] and while it is far from even an "effective" movie it did have it's moments. THE PLOT: Young virgin white female women have been mysteriously snatched from the streets of lower Manhattan while nobody was looking -- in itself an improbability of such a high degree that it does not even rate mentioning -- only to turn up later as victims of sexual assault at "Manhattan General Hospital" where a young mulatto hottie doctor and a young police lieutenant who both look like fourth year NYU acting students decide that there is more to the incidents than meets the eye. The two embark on an hour long search through the lower bowels of the city, ending up in an abandoned subway line with nary a homeless person to be found, where they discover the "nest" of an alien life form who has come to the Earth in an effort to breed with our women. After all, what else WOULD a species capable of intergalactic space travel want from our ant-like civilization, other than our leggy bikini models? Since this is the only plot point of genuine interest I will leave out mention of the laughable special effects, wooden acting, improbable casting, dim-witted dialog, pedestrian cinematography, unlikable leads, numbskulled supporting characters [almost through here], idiot's perspective on life in NYC, and complete lack of understanding of how the subways work & why the idea of an "abandoned tunnel" at the 23rd Street exchange is ridiculous.

With all that aside now, this is actually a pretty interesting MasterCard budgeted film shot entirely in NYC, but not the NYC most filmgoers have become familiar with -- It is a Soho mentality world made up of cloistered studios, rooftops with water silos, lower Broadway's Fashion and NYU areas [I used to take classes up at 23rd and 8th Ave & enjoyed lunchtime walks down many of the streets used in exterior scenes whilst a slave rowing the Tower Records galleon right across from NYU] and the artsy/party slummers who populated it. The cast is made up almost entirely of unknowns who never really went on to do anything else, with only cult horror babe Amy Brentano [BLOOD SISTERS] making any kind of an impact as a cocaine snorting ex-gymnast bikini model who's photoshoot is rudely interrupted when the director mutates into an alien which proceeds to grope her leggy frame with it's gross tentical like appendages. To paraphrase Roger Ebert, I hate it when stuff like that happens.

The film's opening sixty minutes or so are pretty bad, with lots of talking and speculation over an "unknown biological substance" that the rape victims' bodies have been covered with, all of which serves to set up the movie's final 15 minute set-piece when it is revealed that this substance is alien sperm, and the women become covered with it while their naked bodies writhe in a steaming vat of the stuff four or five at a time -- an interesting twist on spawn reproduction techniques, provided that the women are attractive & willing enough. Director Kincaid is therefore forgiven for the film's innanities by providing a nice cross-section of caucaisian female types crawling around in the slippery gunk, though those viewers who may have been hoping for borderline pornography will doubtlessly be disappointed by results, which seems more like a waste of uncongealed geletain dessert than some sort of perverted group grope. The girls don't even interact with each other, not seeming to be really there even, and at the end the resourceful cop & doctor fry the sloppy mess with a handy electrical cable connected to the third rail. What a waste.

This movie was one of the first released straight to home video during the rental boon years of the 1980's and while a disappointment to be sure is worthy of some sort of cult status.

There are some nice parallels to LIQUID SKY [doubtlessly the movie's major influence] and Luigi Cozzi's ALIEN CONTAMINATION [with it's alien spores idea], an interesting electronic soundtrack, and some attractive babes with zero compunction about removing their clothes for the benefit of the camera, and there is something to be said for that.

Kincaid's 1986 movie is easily the more obscure & probably more fun, though snooty types who are insistent upon slick productions will find plenty to complain about, until the last 15 minutes that is, which should satisfy anyone with a taste for the naked & slippery prospects of alien movie hokum.

**1/2 out of ****

Empire and Wizard Video released this one. Star Ed French also does the special effects (talented guy). The three 'herione' virgins look too 'well-trodden' to be believable as naive nubiles. They are so shy and sweet yet wear no underwear and often sun-bathe in tiny bikinis (hence very very small area tan marks). After clothes removal which does not take long and happens very often a man usually turns up ready for some action (no fumbling for protection, oh no, just do it quick, the world might end!). However just as things get really hot a stupid slimy mutant baby thing shows up and though masculine it is just too young to join in. So what does it do? Well you would think it would use its powers to transform into a man (maybe not a slimy one though) but no simply killing the most horny guy on earth gives this little tyke its kicks. The silly ending really does not matter. Spcial mention to the script though, classic bits including "I know priests who are rapists"; "It's not like you're after my body" (randomly naked lead female character who is working out at the gym randomly naked and her reaction to horny guy walking in on her in her compromising nakedness); "Ted is gay..." (female character to police officer) "Maybe or maybe not, just real clever" (Police officer)...Ummm, classy stuff!

In Manhattan young virgin women are being viciously raped by who the police believe to be a crazy serial rapists, but unknown to them it's something far more sinister and out-of-this-world. It takes a doctor and a police detective to discover that this unearthly predator is impregnating these women for a world invasion, which leads them to its nest in an abandoned underground subway system.

Oh brother, you can't get any bad than this! "Breeders" is a shoestring production that clearly looks it and provides nothing more but a distasteful, exploitive schlock fest of the very bad and quite haggard kind. Well, the cheesy 80s breaks through again with such an amateurish set-up found in every single avenue of this stingy production. Although it's not without its perks. But these factors really do pale in comparison to the downright awfulness of this uninspired trite. The most startling images are the gratuitous nudity that flows freely in what you call simply redundant build-ups. Well, they would be more redundant if these women were ugly, but that's not the case and the director knew it by exploiting every opportunity he had. Gee, some ladies just got their gear off for no apparent reason, so the camera had something to focus on. Since there was basically nothing much else to look at with its inane looking props. And these girls are supposed to be virgins and strangely enough they are pretty easy to come by… right-o. The wicked make-up effects and sloppy blood splatter were okay for such a project, but damn that alien costume (guy in a black rubber suit that's cross between; "Alien" and "The Fly") design was horrid! Hmm, I think that's all the good things and it can raise up a couple of unintentional chuckles.

Now onto the bad, but where to start. The lifeless direction by Tim Kincaid is simply non-existent and guess who wrote the pitiful story; yep that's right Kincaid. Juvenile crass is best to describe the senseless plot, which has many erratic mood swings and meaningless inclusions. It just feels like it was made as they went along and the mind-blowing origin to this monster will have you thinking "pure genius… haha, I think not". The cringe-worthy dialogues are very forced and unbelievably inept of anything remotely reasonable. And it was even drier with its lack of sharp humour… but who knows maybe Kincaid thought it had its humorous moments. The pathetic performances from a clumsy cast ranges from bluntly robotic to terribly hokey. The foxy ladies on show are nothing more than pretty faces and when they open their mouths… oh the pain! Their blaring screaming was more bearable. While, the guys are simply background features. These senseless characters are incredibly dumb-as-can-be with them providing more to the risible horny alien attacks and a dopey finale where the characters stand around looking stupid and taking ages to realise what they need just happens to be there. Like always! A hilarious scene involving a character called Ted (who wears snazzy sunnies) and his hobbies being explained by his very worried mother boldly goes out of its way to scares us with her rambles. The electronic score is annoyingly weary. Kincaid fails at any sort of atmosphere or suspense; there's just next to nothing with the usual shock conclusion plastered on and the (Oh no, watch out its shadow is creeping up!) build-ups with the creature stalking it's hosts, which leaves a lot to be desired. Because you'll be asking where the hell did that come from and how didn't someone notice it. It must just be a very good sneaker. Watch out, as this half-ass production bares all… and quite a lot of breasts too.

If you have a hankering for absurdly, cheap bottom of the barrel trashy sleaze. Here you go.

I picked up this one since I have an affinity for 70's and 80's deadly animal flicks. The reviews said this one would fall squarely into this sub-subgenre.

Since this one was released in 1986, I guess it would be fair to compare it to a similar film from that year, The Fly. Some of the makeup effects and general atmosphere are similar, but Breeders falls way short of Cronenberg's work. Plots aren't fully explored, the acting is painful to watch (except for the guy who plays Ira), and you never get a grasp as to what the titular creatures look like. I was willing to allow for a little clumsiness in the appearance of the creature(s), since this was pre-CGI, but I was disappointed.

I suppose if you have a thing for 80's hairstyles on unclothed ladies, then this one may suit your late-night fancy. Otherwise, go watch Cronenberg's work again, or take a look at Piranha, Razorback, or Squirm.

This movie goes leaps and bounds beyond even the worst bargain-bin horror fare. I am an avid viewer of cheap horror films for humor purposes, yet "Breeders" was a chore to even watch through to its conclusion. Horrid acting, laughable monsters with an even more laughable premise, and garish production make this one too bad to even touch.

The premise of the movie is as insulting as it is implausible. The alien who lives under New York city apparently can only breed with "virgin" human women for an undisclosed purpose (no alien births or even a sign of pregnancy appear in the film). However, this technicality which seems to form the backbone of the movie is utterly silly. A cocaine using ballet student and a thirty-something woman who dresses in leopard print are a couple of the five to seven "virgins" who appear naked and raped by this alien. The nudity of the female actors borders on exploitation, as obligatory shower and nude dancing scenes ensue. The final straw is the climax of the movie in which a showdown takes place not with the lecherous alien, but with the bevy of nude alien rape victims in a vat of white goo, rubbing up against each other. More disgustingly extraneous than anything, it is a new height of callousness even for shoddy science fiction pornography.

The rest goes without saying. The acting is too wooden for words and the plot is predictable. The alien makes those on Flash Gordon and the original Star Trek look real, as the actor wearing the suit is visibly wearing black boots. If this movie wasn't so sexually explicit, it would have made fantastic fodder for MST3K. Avoid this movie even if you enjoy poorly made, low budget sci-fi/horror flicks.

They're bad movies and then there's exceptionally atrocious, brain-numbing, please God make it stop jaw-stopping spectacles of sheer mind-rotting awfulness that are so utterly abominable that they defy belief and soar off into a stratosphere of extraordinary stinkiness that's a ghastly wonder to behold. "Breeders" qualifies as one of those special kind of schlocky treats. The gloriously sordid premise centers on an ugly, scaly, oversexed humanoid reptile lizard alien (actually, it's some poor schmoe in a laughably obvious and unconvincing rubber suit) who kidnaps and rapes a lovely assortment of Big Apple virgins so it can reproduce its species for an impending invasion. Colorless cop Lance Lewman and dull doctor Teresa Farley try to stop the evil extraterrestrial menace, but since they're both incredibly insipid and can't act their way out of a soggy cardboard box one quite frankly doesn't give a s**t if they succeed or not. Boy, does this beautifully botched baby contain all the right wrong stuff to rate highly as one four-star clinker: flat, uninspired (mis)direction by the chronically inept Tim Kincaid (who also makes gay porno under the name of Joe Gage), a grating synthesizer score, pathetic make-up f/x by Ed French (in one particularly pitiful scene the viewer can clearly see that the actor playing the hormonal alien is wearing sneakers!), plodding pacing, relentlessly cheap'n'chintzy production values, dire dialogue, and staggeringly putrid acting from the entire cast. Fortunately, there's a tasty plenitude of gratuitous distaff nudity from a smoking hot bunch of luscious young women; almost every luckless lass who gets attacked is either disrobing or in the shower when they get jumped. Special credit must be given here to the beauteous brunette hottie supreme Frances Raines, who performs a lengthy Jane Fonda-style aerobic workout clad only in her birthday suit that's leeringly lingered on by the filmmakers. A truly choice chunk of deliciously dreadful celluloid cheese.

The creature just looks like college kid wearing a bug mask and a garbage bag. The story, The acting, the directing, just about everything about this movie is non-existent! Don't bother watching! Avoid at all costs!

OK, this is definitely a guilty pleasure and not a movie where you will see quality acting or dazzling special effects.

What you will see are breasts; lots of breasts, and derrières, too. We even get to see a naked workout by model Amy Brentano. After a photo shoot, she does a line, and gives us a good naked workout. Teen boys will be thrilled. There is even the requisite shower scene with another victim.

Aliens are looking for virgins, and there are far more than you would believe. I mean, can a girl be a virgin if she snorts cocaine and does naked workouts. It's possible, but hardly believable.

After the victims recover from their rape, then they go walking nude around the city searching for their new masters.

The end was a real pleasure. They were all together under the city writhing around in alien sperm. Writer/director Tim Kincaid certainly had a breast fetish.