Review of Breeders

Breeders (1986)
7/10
A Model's Worse Nightmare
24 February 2008
This is a movie that I owned for such a long time, why? Because it was so bad, it was good. In my personal vision it was a huge guilty pleasure that I'm guilty of owning. The story tells of a mysterious occurrence of young virgin women getting raped and experiencing selective memory loss. The only problem is, the people who are responsible for this violent act some sort of slimy creature that lives beneath the city. Things become even more complicated when the DNA match turns out to be not human. What this movie does do a good job of is the gore and creature features that are peppered throughout this tale. However, what this movie does not do a good job is the acting. It had a very interesting concept of combining pornography with horror, through even with good intention it fell through the roof.

First off, this movie had some very good gore and creature effects that I did not expect this movie to have. When it came to things popping out of people's stomachs, tearing open skin, attacking people and horrific creature design, I will give this movie a standing ovation. There was one scene, in particular, that really mesmerized me when it came to make up and effects. Ted, one of the photographers, has one of the Breeders coming out of his chest and we see him tear open his chest skin while pockets of pink, slimy flesh start to pop out. That was probably the worse scene in the entire movie. There was a great "Scanners" scene were a head explodes and a Breeder emerges and a horrifically creepy end scene where all the virgin women are bathing in a pool of alien sperm. This movie just freaks me out when it comes to make-up and creature features.

The acting in the movie was far from good, though surprisingly not the worse. You have Teresa Farley, who plays Dr. Pace, and Lance Lewman, who plays Det. Andriotti who had some great potential but they were much too somber even when things were coming to a boil. They didn't seem dedicated to their role or even put effort into trying to look panicked or scares. One line of dialogue, uttered by Lewman's character, should have been yelled but instead it was said, "Your f**king bananas." You have painfully over-dramatic roles that came from Frances Raines, Natalie O'Connell, Amy Brentano and LeeAnn Baker, otherwise known as the main virgins in this movie. The movie wants you to feel sorry for them, but they all seemed too stuck up and paranoid for me to feel sorry for them. In other words, they were begging to be taken.

What this movie tried to do and I will give them credit for a good concept with good intentions, was to combine "soft" core porn with a horror movie. There were plenty of scenes with naked women and a lot of sexual related themes; in fact, it's almost like a reworking or even homage to Cronenberg's Shivers. However, after seeing so much nakedness the nudity became overrated and very redundant, like there was no need for a woman to come home to her kitchen and just strip to take a shower. It's almost like the girls wanted the role so that they can show off what they have, only problem is, they have nothing to show off. They tried to combine suspense with this concept and it just looked weird and awkward for an alien to attack and rape a naked young girl. It just seemed way too uncomfortable for any kind of thing to do that.

Overall, there was some bad acting and a failed concept of horror-porn and some top notch creature effects, but I enjoy watching this film for those exact reasons. I have my share of guilty pleasures, two being Chopping Mall and Snakes on a Plane, and this is another timeless classic that failed when it came out, but has a cult following. I would recommend this movie to those who enjoy cult classics as well as any horror movie fan, though if you are younger then you may want to avoid it because of the nudity. In my opinion, its probably one of the great cheesy and stupid horror / sci-fi movies of the 80 and I think it will go down as a timeless classic.
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