Review of Breeders

Breeders (1986)
1/10
Like A Virgin… Alienated for the very first time!
21 August 2006
"Breeders" might very well be the absolute most retarded horror movie of the 1980's and that's quite an achievement on itself, since this entire decade (apart from a couple notable exceptions) was marked with stupid & pointless horror movies. You can hardly refer to this as a "movie", by the way, because there's no script, not the slightest bit of continuity and not even an attempt to build up some tension. Then…why bother? Because it has boobs! And lots of them!! The entire film is just a very poor excuse to show naked ladies when they're showering, practicing aerobics, changing outfits or bathing all together in a gooey alien-whirlpool (we'll get back to that later!). For no particular reason, horny aliens (I'm still not sure whether it's just one or a group) land in downtown Manhattan and immediately begin to sexually assault the few remaining local virgins. A not-so-intelligent police inspector and an inexperienced female doctor start to investigate, but they discover…nothing! Meanwhile, more girls get raped and they're all guided back – under alien hypnosis – to the Manhattan sewer system where they all bath together in slime! What the hell? Okay, the only positive thing you can possibly say about "Breeders" is that it's an acceptable guilty pleasure! You can switch off all brain-activities whilst enjoying the explicit nudity and the campy gore-effects, but everything else is simply insufferable. All the cast members deserve to die a most horrible death and it was a very wise career choice for writer/director Tim Kincaid to continue in the gay porn business.
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