Review of Breeders

Breeders (1986)
1/10
Pornographic Rubbish
9 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This movie goes leaps and bounds beyond even the worst bargain-bin horror fare. I am an avid viewer of cheap horror films for humor purposes, yet "Breeders" was a chore to even watch through to its conclusion. Horrid acting, laughable monsters with an even more laughable premise, and garish production make this one too bad to even touch.

The premise of the movie is as insulting as it is implausible. The alien who lives under New York city apparently can only breed with "virgin" human women for an undisclosed purpose (no alien births or even a sign of pregnancy appear in the film). However, this technicality which seems to form the backbone of the movie is utterly silly. A cocaine using ballet student and a thirty-something woman who dresses in leopard print are a couple of the five to seven "virgins" who appear naked and raped by this alien. The nudity of the female actors borders on exploitation, as obligatory shower and nude dancing scenes ensue. The final straw is the climax of the movie in which a showdown takes place not with the lecherous alien, but with the bevy of nude alien rape victims in a vat of white goo, rubbing up against each other. More disgustingly extraneous than anything, it is a new height of callousness even for shoddy science fiction pornography.

The rest goes without saying. The acting is too wooden for words and the plot is predictable. The alien makes those on Flash Gordon and the original Star Trek look real, as the actor wearing the suit is visibly wearing black boots. If this movie wasn't so sexually explicit, it would have made fantastic fodder for MST3K. Avoid this movie even if you enjoy poorly made, low budget sci-fi/horror flicks.
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