It was only a few years ago that I even knew about this Golan-Globus Cannon musical production that came out the same year as similar flops like Can't Stop the Music and Xanadu or better received hits of the same genre like The Blues Brothers and the original Fame. I'll just say that while I was weireded out by the direction of some sequences and the way they were put together, I actually did like many of the musical numbers and the way they tied to both plot and characterization. And I also thought the actors that sang, with the exception of Catherine Mary Stewart who was nicely dubbed by Mary Hylan, also did a good job. So on that note, I'll just say that The Apple is neither one of the worst nor one of the best of the movie musicals. It's just simply a fascinating futuristic look at a time 14 years after this was made at what the music industry would be like if Disco, Glam Rock, and Folk/Adult Contemporary were the only musical trends (or non-trends) to go to as choices...
101 Reviews
Something this bizarre cannot be dismissed so easily.
gridoon14 October 2003
Vapid (largely due to the male lead's inability to act - not surprisingly, this was his only film), bizarre fantasy-musical-allegory. It gets points for its sheer audacity and the effort that was put into it - it was probably made on a relatively low budget, yet it manages to create a world of its own; apparently it was filmed in Germany, but it seems to be taking place on another universe altogether. For some reason, it reminded me of "Zardoz" (yes, and "Logan's Run" too): these movies are so bizarre that they belong in a league of their own, beyond "good" and "bad". Best song: "If you know how to be a ma-ster". (**)
The Disco Future That Never Happened
Lechuguilla30 March 2008
If hippiedom had taken root in the 1980s, this musical shows how things might have worked out in the 1990s. Of course you have to use your imagination here. The story describes a nightmarish society wherein everyone must eat, breathe, and sleep for something called "Bim", as promulgated by a capitalistic music mogul named Mr. Boogalow. This Mr. Boogalow rather conspicuously resembles the devil; he tempts the lead male and female singers with an apple, because their love song is a threat to his disco empire. I'm not quite sure what "Bim" refers to, except maybe the perpetuation of disco dollars, along with big bucks for bizarre costumes and garish makeup, of which the film has tons.
The entire production is so overdone, so excessive, so lacking in subtlety it's laughable. But there is a worthwhile message here. And that's the idea that people are easily manipulated to become slaves to greed and superficial images; that part of the future the film got right.
As for performances, George Gilmour, the lead male, can sing but can't act; Catherine Mary Stewart, the lead female, can act but can't sing; they make a dandy duo. Songs tend to be uninspired and repetitious; the first musical number is awful. But I did like "Cry For Me", toward the end.
Others have described "The Apple" as the worst musical of all time. I wouldn't know, since there are many musicals I have not seen. But what is certain is that this film is quaint, to say the least. It's a historical film curio, a cinematic time warp back to another era when disco was king, and Reagan was just an American actor trying to be a President with capitalistic ideas.
The entire production is so overdone, so excessive, so lacking in subtlety it's laughable. But there is a worthwhile message here. And that's the idea that people are easily manipulated to become slaves to greed and superficial images; that part of the future the film got right.
As for performances, George Gilmour, the lead male, can sing but can't act; Catherine Mary Stewart, the lead female, can act but can't sing; they make a dandy duo. Songs tend to be uninspired and repetitious; the first musical number is awful. But I did like "Cry For Me", toward the end.
Others have described "The Apple" as the worst musical of all time. I wouldn't know, since there are many musicals I have not seen. But what is certain is that this film is quaint, to say the least. It's a historical film curio, a cinematic time warp back to another era when disco was king, and Reagan was just an American actor trying to be a President with capitalistic ideas.
Audaciously Wonderfully Bad!
rube242415 November 2003
Probably made as a "please God, let what happened to ROCKY HORROR
happen to us!", project, THE APPLE is so audacious, so over the top, so
totally awful that it is simply wonderful. The songs are cheesy, the
acting horrendous, the costumes nightmarish, the concept bizarre etc.,
etc., but when all those negatives are put together, the result is a
positively guilty pleasure to top all guilty pleasures. Please, someone,
release a letterboxed DVD of this film so that all its rocky horrors
squeezed onto the small screen can be seen in all their garish terrible/wonderfulness.......
happen to us!", project, THE APPLE is so audacious, so over the top, so
totally awful that it is simply wonderful. The songs are cheesy, the
acting horrendous, the costumes nightmarish, the concept bizarre etc.,
etc., but when all those negatives are put together, the result is a
positively guilty pleasure to top all guilty pleasures. Please, someone,
release a letterboxed DVD of this film so that all its rocky horrors
squeezed onto the small screen can be seen in all their garish terrible/wonderfulness.......
"The Apple" is a horrific embarrassment for all concerned.
filmguy912 September 1998
A sure contender for worst film of the century, "The Apple" isn't just bad, it is insufferable. Set in futuristic 1994, this musical is basically a lame excuse for some very bad actors (except Catherine Mary Stewart in her feature film debut!) to dress in really campy outfits and sing really, REALLY bad songs. The whole mess looks like a bad outtake from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." The story: Two innocents enter a worldwide songwriting contest. The couple is unaware that the "Star Search"-type global broadcast has been rigged by the evil Mr. Boogaloo, a man who wants to take over the world with his "Bim" music. Don't ask. In short, THIS MOVIE SUCKS. You have been warned. When we ran this awful film at the Paramount Theater (now the El Capitan) in Hollywood in November, 1980, the film's distributor, Cannon Films, gave us souvenir soundtrack albums to give out to the first 1,000 customers on their way in. After the first show we had to stop giving the records out because the few customers that paid to see this disaster started throwing their 12" vinyl LPs at the movie screen during the film. No rips in the screen, just big dents, thank goodness. We then tried to hand the records out after the screenings, but most people refused to take them. In the end, we had cases and cases of the albums left over, which Cannon Films retrieved a year later to ship to some unsuspecting theaters in Israel.
A film so horrible, you can't stop watching
planktonrules8 June 2003
Kudos to this German production by Golan/Globus. Who else could have conceived of a Sci-fi/Disco/Musical/Religious epic? Unlike Ed Wood's flicks (such as Plan 9, Glen or Glenda and Bride of the Monster), this movie proves that an embarrassingly silly and awful picture does NOT need to be made on a shoestring budget! Horrible costumes and extremely silly sets cost big bucks!
While some of the actors do actually sing reasonably well, Vladek Sheybal and Ray Shell's singing (among many others) are straight from the "Paint Your Wagon" school of movie-making which states that "just because some actors have NO discernible singing ability does not mean they cannot sing in a musical". I assume based on the banality of the music and lyrics that the same philosophy was also employed. In fact, the same could be said about the acting, sets and directing and choreography (e.g., the great song and dance number in Hell midway through the movie). It's as if Golan/Globus said "let's find as many UNTALENTED people as possible and get them together to make a movie--it will be a real HOOT!".
So, if I hated this movie so much and found it abounding in ineptness, why am I writing this review? My wife tells me I am a masochist and about awful movies, I think she's right. I love to watch wretched movies.
The Apple is not an annoying bad movie (such as ANYTHING involving Pauley Shore), a cheap schlocky bad movie (SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS or ROBOT MONSTER), a disgusting bad movie (any movie involving groups of semi-brain-dead teens being stalked by a hockey masked sociopath) or a boringly bad movie (THE CONQUERER). Instead, like such notorious greats like THE TRIAL OF BILLY JACK, this movie seems to try VERY hard and yet fail on almost every level. This is definitely the case with THE APPLE--it tries so very hard but utterly misses the mark each and every time!
In summation, I call all lovers of dreck to tune in to THE APPLE. And, I am happy to say, it is NOW available on DVD!!! This makes this is an absolute MUST SEE! I must warn you, however, that although the songs are really bad, you may find yourself singing them again and again in your head. For me, I kept hearing the "Do the BIM" song over and over...and even now I do as I write this!
While some of the actors do actually sing reasonably well, Vladek Sheybal and Ray Shell's singing (among many others) are straight from the "Paint Your Wagon" school of movie-making which states that "just because some actors have NO discernible singing ability does not mean they cannot sing in a musical". I assume based on the banality of the music and lyrics that the same philosophy was also employed. In fact, the same could be said about the acting, sets and directing and choreography (e.g., the great song and dance number in Hell midway through the movie). It's as if Golan/Globus said "let's find as many UNTALENTED people as possible and get them together to make a movie--it will be a real HOOT!".
So, if I hated this movie so much and found it abounding in ineptness, why am I writing this review? My wife tells me I am a masochist and about awful movies, I think she's right. I love to watch wretched movies.
The Apple is not an annoying bad movie (such as ANYTHING involving Pauley Shore), a cheap schlocky bad movie (SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS or ROBOT MONSTER), a disgusting bad movie (any movie involving groups of semi-brain-dead teens being stalked by a hockey masked sociopath) or a boringly bad movie (THE CONQUERER). Instead, like such notorious greats like THE TRIAL OF BILLY JACK, this movie seems to try VERY hard and yet fail on almost every level. This is definitely the case with THE APPLE--it tries so very hard but utterly misses the mark each and every time!
In summation, I call all lovers of dreck to tune in to THE APPLE. And, I am happy to say, it is NOW available on DVD!!! This makes this is an absolute MUST SEE! I must warn you, however, that although the songs are really bad, you may find yourself singing them again and again in your head. For me, I kept hearing the "Do the BIM" song over and over...and even now I do as I write this!
Good use of mylar
s-j-calhoun29 January 2005
However, the make-up, costumes, acting, singing, dancing, stunts, sets, props, hair, story, theme, idea, writing, directing, dialog, and use of a green station wagon were VERY VERY BAD. This was sort of a mix between the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes,and Xanadu packed into one mylar-packed, "who-are-these- people-and-what-were-they-thinking?" movie, filmed in a corporate park in Europe on a Sunday. I nominate it for the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 come-back (Ahh, those were the days, when a movie could be mocked with all the honesty and disgust it deserves). BUT, The varied use of MYLAR throughout the movie never ceased to amaze me!
If Xanadu and Flash Gordon had a baby..
malpasc-391-91538014 November 2016
If Xanadu and Flash Gordon had a baby, it would be The Apple.
I'm a fan of campy, trashy movies, especially musicals. I actually think Grease 2 is a better movie than the original Grease for instance.
The Apple is REALLY trashy, in fact I would go as far as to say it has almost no redeeming features. The acting from most of the cast is way below par. Even amateur dramatics societies have better actors than this. George Gilmour in particular as the male lead "Alphie" is appalling. It comes as no surprise that this seems to be his only movie credit... That said, it doesn't help that nobody in this film is given anything in the script that would show their acting "talents".
The sets are basically made up of bits of late 1970s Berlin brutalist architecture. Why is it films set in "the future" are always full of grey concrete?! The costumes are of the silver foil standard of future fashions, along with a lot of outfits that appear again to be straight out of the 1970s. Well they do say fashions come and go..
The film itself, well its a simple tale of an innocent boy and girl getting sucked into and spat out of the music industry.. Along with some very misguided and in your face biblical references. The ending is truly spectacular. Spectacularly awful that is.
The only vaguely redeeming feature of this film is possibly the soundtrack. OK, none of it sounds like the kind of music that was around in the real 1994, but there are some flourishes.
I'm giving the film 5 out of 10. It is truly terrible, but a fun watch at the same time.
I'm a fan of campy, trashy movies, especially musicals. I actually think Grease 2 is a better movie than the original Grease for instance.
The Apple is REALLY trashy, in fact I would go as far as to say it has almost no redeeming features. The acting from most of the cast is way below par. Even amateur dramatics societies have better actors than this. George Gilmour in particular as the male lead "Alphie" is appalling. It comes as no surprise that this seems to be his only movie credit... That said, it doesn't help that nobody in this film is given anything in the script that would show their acting "talents".
The sets are basically made up of bits of late 1970s Berlin brutalist architecture. Why is it films set in "the future" are always full of grey concrete?! The costumes are of the silver foil standard of future fashions, along with a lot of outfits that appear again to be straight out of the 1970s. Well they do say fashions come and go..
The film itself, well its a simple tale of an innocent boy and girl getting sucked into and spat out of the music industry.. Along with some very misguided and in your face biblical references. The ending is truly spectacular. Spectacularly awful that is.
The only vaguely redeeming feature of this film is possibly the soundtrack. OK, none of it sounds like the kind of music that was around in the real 1994, but there are some flourishes.
I'm giving the film 5 out of 10. It is truly terrible, but a fun watch at the same time.
Bad, in every way possible.
purpix111 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Watching this film, one can only marvel at the fact that some studio actually paid to have this film made! This only proves how much money must be floating around Hollywood. This movie fails in every aspect. Bad story, bad acting, bad singing, bad lyrics, bad dancing, bad costumes, bad sets, bad everything! This movie does succeed on one level however, it serves as an example of how NOT to make a movie. Excruciatingly painful to watch, and even more painful to listen to. I can imagine, far in the future, some archaeologist digging up the DVD of this movie, watching it, and then explaining to his students how everyone in 1994 apparently was gay. If you've been unfortunate enough to have purchased this DVD, at least you can use it as a coaster.
Worst musical ever? Maybe!
zetes6 July 2008
Infamously bad musical, often considered the worst movie of that genre. This film is a treasure for bad movie lovers. It's just transcendently awful, an assault to the ears and eyes. Ed Wood-level auteur Menahem Golan, who produced such classics as Over the Top, The Forbidden Dance, the Breakin' movies, American Ninja, Ninja 3: The Domination, Superman IV and Masters of the Universe, directs this futuristic retelling of the story of Adam and Eve, set in the distant year of 1994. Mr. Boogalow is a record company executive who is symbolically the devil. Catherine Mary Stewart and George Gilmour are two Canadian ingénues who try to revive the long-dormant art of the love song (so 1970s!). Mr. Boogalow quickly puts a stop to that by tempting Stewart to the disco scene. The movie pretty much hits its record industry target, and predicts American Idol (except that, instead of soulless disco songs, for the most part the contestants on that show sing soulless ballads). It's not the stupidest movie in the world. On the other hand, it is one of the most garish imaginable, with its goofy futuristic clothes (people in the future always tend to like shiny things a lot), and the songs are beyond horrible. Well, at least they're laughable. The whole film is, very much so. And I honestly enjoyed it in a masochistic sort of way.
I never miss a George Orwell musical!
mark.waltz28 November 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Okay, so it's 1994, not 1984, but it's all of those futuristic doomsday movies rolled up into one. Imagine a musical version of "Zardoz", and you've got the right idea of what "The Apple" will be. 1980 had its share of notorious musicals from "Can't Stop the Music" to "Xanadu", but the is the "Applegate" of rock musicals, a definite sabotage to the genre which seem to be making a comeback thanks to the movie versions of "Grease" and "Hair". it's as if the Grinch slid off his mountain top, landed in Hollywood, hated singing and dancing instead of Christmas and decided to ruin it for everybody.
Wait until you se Vladek Sheybal as the obvious villain of the film who is made up to look like Max Von Sydow in "Fash Gordon". He's the anthesis of the gooey as gumdrop pairing of Catherine Mary Stewart ("The Night of the Comet") and George Gilmour, your typical poofy haired pretty boy, getting to sing some of the silliest popcorn tunes I've ever heard, accompanied by the most bizarre backup and choreography. Stewart and Gilmour are signed by Sheybal's talent agency and are constant baraged by the interruption of audacious numbers that seems to have raided every tacky costume shop in town.
Ray Shell is unforgettable as Sheybal's flamboyant assistant who seems to be a black version of Tim Curry from "Rocky Horror", and there's no shortage of equally flamboyant drag characters in minor roles, including a heavyset performer who sings opera. Stewart and Gilmour end up in an underground cave of horrors where it's obvious that they are about to be drugged by the titled apple which is the size of a pumpkin.
Joss Ackland gets the thrill of playing a dual role, a Merlin/older Moses lookalike who plays Gilmour's fairy godfather and later on, God, a chevy driving deity who arranges for a bunch of hippies to be raptured while Sheybal and his band of merry men look on. The cast tried hard to get through this professionally with Grace Kennedy stealing every moment she's on with a few big Diana Ross like numbers (including one about the final moments of copulation), and long before she became more well known, Miriam Margolyes as Gilmour's feisty Jewish landlady who actually gets a few genuine laughs.
This is MTV at its earliest on acid, reminding me of the many hideously bad musicals that were produced and quickly closed on Broadway in the 1970's and '80s, and more modern ones that I've seen like "Dance of the Vampires" and "Bat out of Hell". The problem is that it is striving for camp without really thinking about how to do it. Camp masters John Waters and Tim Burton succeeded because they knew how to do it successfully and had stories that could be followed easily, no matter how absurd. This ends up being deliciously funny because it is so bad, and that's not camp. That's just disaster mixed into strudel.
Wait until you se Vladek Sheybal as the obvious villain of the film who is made up to look like Max Von Sydow in "Fash Gordon". He's the anthesis of the gooey as gumdrop pairing of Catherine Mary Stewart ("The Night of the Comet") and George Gilmour, your typical poofy haired pretty boy, getting to sing some of the silliest popcorn tunes I've ever heard, accompanied by the most bizarre backup and choreography. Stewart and Gilmour are signed by Sheybal's talent agency and are constant baraged by the interruption of audacious numbers that seems to have raided every tacky costume shop in town.
Ray Shell is unforgettable as Sheybal's flamboyant assistant who seems to be a black version of Tim Curry from "Rocky Horror", and there's no shortage of equally flamboyant drag characters in minor roles, including a heavyset performer who sings opera. Stewart and Gilmour end up in an underground cave of horrors where it's obvious that they are about to be drugged by the titled apple which is the size of a pumpkin.
Joss Ackland gets the thrill of playing a dual role, a Merlin/older Moses lookalike who plays Gilmour's fairy godfather and later on, God, a chevy driving deity who arranges for a bunch of hippies to be raptured while Sheybal and his band of merry men look on. The cast tried hard to get through this professionally with Grace Kennedy stealing every moment she's on with a few big Diana Ross like numbers (including one about the final moments of copulation), and long before she became more well known, Miriam Margolyes as Gilmour's feisty Jewish landlady who actually gets a few genuine laughs.
This is MTV at its earliest on acid, reminding me of the many hideously bad musicals that were produced and quickly closed on Broadway in the 1970's and '80s, and more modern ones that I've seen like "Dance of the Vampires" and "Bat out of Hell". The problem is that it is striving for camp without really thinking about how to do it. Camp masters John Waters and Tim Burton succeeded because they knew how to do it successfully and had stories that could be followed easily, no matter how absurd. This ends up being deliciously funny because it is so bad, and that's not camp. That's just disaster mixed into strudel.
"Farenheit 451: the musical.
ptb-817 December 2007
Never released in Australia, and we get every terrible film, I am now, in 2007, quivering with delight. My new DVD copy of THE APPLE arrived today and I gleefully shoved it into the player.... and it did not disappoint. More ghastly than I could have wished for, THE APPLE made in 1979 as the monstrously mashed together mix of TOMMY and ROCKY HORROR and PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE and LOGANS RUN and FARENHEIT 451 and HAIR...with CANT STOP THE MUSIC campiness, the XANADU dancers, and ZIGGY STARDUST eyeshadow, frosted wavy hair and lyrics poached from the first 8 bars of quite a few Beatles songs as 'new' songs (as another comment noted: ended up sounding like jingles from deodorant commercials) THE APPLE is a film you must see, the make everyone you know see while you watch their reactions. It is more fantastic to own than ELECTRIC BOOGALOO or LAMBADA or SALSA put together! And I own all those too! THE APPLE is more berserk than all those film mentioned above, ground into fluorescent dust-chalk and blended with glitter and then swallowed... and the result the next day is what I saw on DVD. Made in an unfinished shopping mall in East Germany by mad Israeli mogul Mehaheim Golan from the famed Cannon Films shed, THE APPLE is c colossal collision of Eurovision and a projectile vomit. Read all the other comments, including the media ones... and then realize we are being kind to this film. It is deliciously worse than everything you will read. As Lina Lamont said in Singin in the rain:" I liked it!"... the irony in 2007 being that MGM sold that wonderful musical to Warners and now represent THE APPLE instead.
The Classic homoerotic, cheesy, poppy, sappy,musical event of the 80's
ReverendNate66623 February 2003
I am in awe over the costume designs, set designs, musical numbers, etc. This movie is definitely the best portrayal of 1994 by far. The old 80s station wagons and 80s clothing are still very popular as anyone would imagine. After all, they are timeless classic trendsetting styles. This movie manages to be one of the most homoerotic movies of all time without a single gay sex scene! Every frame of this movie has something very pleasing (or discomforting) to the eye for the viewer to be entertained for all 80 minutes plus of this musical masterpiece. Go see this movie now. I gave into temptation and ate the forbidden fruit recently at the Nuart Theater and I haven't been the same since.
This apple is all brown and mushy in places and there is a worm in it.
Aaron137528 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
This has to be one of the worst musicals I have ever seen and quite frankly, musicals are one of my least favorite genre of film. About the only ones that end up good are Disney ones because there is more than just songs and animated people and animals breaking out in song and dance seems so less silly than actual people. Here is is straight out hysterical! It also does not help that the songs are all rather horrible, like they are trying to copy something but the lyrics are not going together smoothly. A bit like if instead of an anime song being in original Japanese they translated it literally and now it has absolutely no melody!
The story starts out with a horrid song about Bim coming! What is Bim? As far as I could figure out it is a music company, so not sure why a music company is addressed as a person that is coming. For reasons unknown this song is really making the young people go wild! Then Donnie and Marie take the stage, uh, I mean Alphie and Bibi and there song is even worse and the crowd loves it until flamboyant black dude sabotages it. For some reason Bibi really wants to join Bim and have Boogalow as their agent, but the guy refuses as he does not drink or want the rock and roll lifestyle...well not rock and roll, more like pop disco which is as bad as it sounds. Well soon Bibi is a star and for reasons unknown Bim rules the world or something and then Bibi gets back to Alphie who is living with hippies in a cave where in a year's time, they have a healthy three year old child and then Mr. Top (a character not established in the least) comes and leads all the good people away including a woman who drugged a guy and pretty much raped him...
I do not know what happened, but it seems there must be more to this movie than was shown because of the strange plot holes. Once again, Bim is a record company, sure Boogalow represents Satan, but I doubt he could take over the world with horrid music like that! Seriously, this film takes place in 1994 and the alternative that was around then totally would kick this craps behind! They also do not portray Boogalow and his cronies as evil enough, seriously, they drink, take some drugs and have wild sex? So did the hippies back in the day, the only difference is Boogalow is pushing bad music, but then again, I bet them hippies stink!
So, this film is rather bad, but at least it is entertaining in a way. If the songs were a bit more catchy then maybe this could of been more of a cult classic, but as it is, nope, songs written by someone who does not know how to write music. Evil is portrayed as polite and doing very little dark thinks; unless, you consider having flamboyant productions in the middle of your lobby as being super evil. Mr. Tops is never established then comes to save the day, while it is also never really established how the world became under the control of a music studio or whatever Bim is! Though, on the plus side it does feature the very attractive Catherine Mary Stewart. And to think, people act like Nightflyers was the worst film she ever did...
The story starts out with a horrid song about Bim coming! What is Bim? As far as I could figure out it is a music company, so not sure why a music company is addressed as a person that is coming. For reasons unknown this song is really making the young people go wild! Then Donnie and Marie take the stage, uh, I mean Alphie and Bibi and there song is even worse and the crowd loves it until flamboyant black dude sabotages it. For some reason Bibi really wants to join Bim and have Boogalow as their agent, but the guy refuses as he does not drink or want the rock and roll lifestyle...well not rock and roll, more like pop disco which is as bad as it sounds. Well soon Bibi is a star and for reasons unknown Bim rules the world or something and then Bibi gets back to Alphie who is living with hippies in a cave where in a year's time, they have a healthy three year old child and then Mr. Top (a character not established in the least) comes and leads all the good people away including a woman who drugged a guy and pretty much raped him...
I do not know what happened, but it seems there must be more to this movie than was shown because of the strange plot holes. Once again, Bim is a record company, sure Boogalow represents Satan, but I doubt he could take over the world with horrid music like that! Seriously, this film takes place in 1994 and the alternative that was around then totally would kick this craps behind! They also do not portray Boogalow and his cronies as evil enough, seriously, they drink, take some drugs and have wild sex? So did the hippies back in the day, the only difference is Boogalow is pushing bad music, but then again, I bet them hippies stink!
So, this film is rather bad, but at least it is entertaining in a way. If the songs were a bit more catchy then maybe this could of been more of a cult classic, but as it is, nope, songs written by someone who does not know how to write music. Evil is portrayed as polite and doing very little dark thinks; unless, you consider having flamboyant productions in the middle of your lobby as being super evil. Mr. Tops is never established then comes to save the day, while it is also never really established how the world became under the control of a music studio or whatever Bim is! Though, on the plus side it does feature the very attractive Catherine Mary Stewart. And to think, people act like Nightflyers was the worst film she ever did...
Always bad but never boring.
FeverDog12 February 2003
Warning: Spoilers
Here's a godawful "futuristic" musical from 1980 that takes place in 1994 (which gives you an idea of just how campy it is), about an evil record executive debauching a naive couple from (no kidding) Moose Jaw, Canada. There's some kind of religious allegory here and there throughout the murky plot, and the songs must be heard to be believed. (One is a basically unveiled ode to the orgasm, which makes me wonder how the movie got a PG rating.)
THE APPLE is CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC (the music-world milieu) meets ROCKY HORROR (innocent couple corrupted by bizarre characters), and it liberally "borrows" scenes from everything from BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS to HAIR. And, oh my, the costumes. I wouldn't know where to begin describing them, so all I'll say is that camel-toe was apparently stylish for both men and women at one time.
Which is all another way of saying that THE APPLE is the newest camp classic that I must add to my collection, and I thank Showtime Beyond for unearthing this craptastic pop masterpiece. (A widescreen DVD would be nice, though.)
THE APPLE is CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC (the music-world milieu) meets ROCKY HORROR (innocent couple corrupted by bizarre characters), and it liberally "borrows" scenes from everything from BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS to HAIR. And, oh my, the costumes. I wouldn't know where to begin describing them, so all I'll say is that camel-toe was apparently stylish for both men and women at one time.
Which is all another way of saying that THE APPLE is the newest camp classic that I must add to my collection, and I thank Showtime Beyond for unearthing this craptastic pop masterpiece. (A widescreen DVD would be nice, though.)
I hope 1994 *never* gets here!
ubik-1115 November 2002
I really struggled with an appropriate title for this review. I mean, there were so many to choose from. How about "Each song worse than the last!"? That was one. How about "It really *is* worse than 'Voyage of the Rock Aliens'!"? That was another one. How about... well, you get the idea.
I can't add much that hasn't already been said, except that I am now one of the few who has seen "The Apple" and lived to tell about it. I know how Alfie and Bibi got their names, and I can guess how Mr. Topps got his, but I'm still not sure about Mr. Boogaloo. And I wish I had known to watch for Yma Sumac. I didn't realize she was in this thing until I saw her listed here. I also didn't realize there was *another* George Clinton. I only knew the one from Parliament and Funkadelic. You know, the cool one.
My theory on the pan-and-scan (the lack of it, I mean) is that the video transfer guy couldn't stand to watch the movie while it transferred so he just set the pan-and-scan thing to the middle of the screen and went on break. My favorite result is a shot of a lamp on Mr. Boogaloo's desk while all the action takes place off-screen. It's when Alfie and Bibi are in his office trying to decide if they should sign his contract or not.
In case you were too overcome to notice, there actually is one funny bit in this movie. It's when Alfie sneaks up behind his landlady and grabs her bosoms. It was unexpected. The rest of the film is deadpan serious. That is its undoing. Well, that and lousy writing, lousy singing, lousy acting, lousy costumes, lousy effects...
I can't add much that hasn't already been said, except that I am now one of the few who has seen "The Apple" and lived to tell about it. I know how Alfie and Bibi got their names, and I can guess how Mr. Topps got his, but I'm still not sure about Mr. Boogaloo. And I wish I had known to watch for Yma Sumac. I didn't realize she was in this thing until I saw her listed here. I also didn't realize there was *another* George Clinton. I only knew the one from Parliament and Funkadelic. You know, the cool one.
My theory on the pan-and-scan (the lack of it, I mean) is that the video transfer guy couldn't stand to watch the movie while it transferred so he just set the pan-and-scan thing to the middle of the screen and went on break. My favorite result is a shot of a lamp on Mr. Boogaloo's desk while all the action takes place off-screen. It's when Alfie and Bibi are in his office trying to decide if they should sign his contract or not.
In case you were too overcome to notice, there actually is one funny bit in this movie. It's when Alfie sneaks up behind his landlady and grabs her bosoms. It was unexpected. The rest of the film is deadpan serious. That is its undoing. Well, that and lousy writing, lousy singing, lousy acting, lousy costumes, lousy effects...
Best B-Movie ever
Charles_Bronson7 January 2005
I came across The Apple about two years ago when I was flipping channels. I think it was Encore that was showing it about 1AM or so. I was mesmerized by how bad it was...but I was totally getting into it. It's the kind of movie I can laugh at because it's so bad. The acting, the 'plot' and the music are so embarrassingly bad...even though the music was kind of catchy. It's a shame we've seen no more performances by George Gilmour after this. Sure, he was a horrible actor but he was handsome -- only if he had got his start 20 years later, his good looks alone could've got him a career started.
I really do wish that there could've been a "where are they now" segment on the DVD. I'd love to know what George Gilmour, Grace Kennedy, Alan Love and Catherine Mary Stewart are up to now; mainly the three lesser stars of love, kennedy and gilmour seeing that their filmographies are the most bare boned. If you're a fan of 'good' bad movies, take a bite out of The Apple!
1/10
I really do wish that there could've been a "where are they now" segment on the DVD. I'd love to know what George Gilmour, Grace Kennedy, Alan Love and Catherine Mary Stewart are up to now; mainly the three lesser stars of love, kennedy and gilmour seeing that their filmographies are the most bare boned. If you're a fan of 'good' bad movies, take a bite out of The Apple!
1/10
This is just a really bad movie
jasonleesmith624 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Other than the kitsch factor of this film, there is nothing whatsoever to recommend it. The acting is horrible; the plot doesn't make sense; the songs are lousy and poorly performed; the sets are not even very good (mainly it was just filmed on location in office buildings in Germany).
I think that the film-makers were influenced by the recent Bee Gees musical, "SGT Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." That "The Apple" compares unfavorably to it, should speak volumes -- just look at the reviews for "SGT Pepper." They were clearly going for some kind of biblical analogy: Innocents are tempted by the evil record company executive, and the woman succumbs to temptation. That's about as far as they could stretch the metaphor, though. The rest of the movie is about how the man tries to get the woman back, and how they are both taken in by a nomadic tribe of hippies, before God eventually rescues everybody and takes then away to populate a new planet. No, really, that's how it ends.
RiffTrax has recently done of riff of this movie. I tried watching it once without the riff, and could only get about 10 minutes into it. RiffTrax makes it much more watchable, but it is still a chore.
I think that the film-makers were influenced by the recent Bee Gees musical, "SGT Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." That "The Apple" compares unfavorably to it, should speak volumes -- just look at the reviews for "SGT Pepper." They were clearly going for some kind of biblical analogy: Innocents are tempted by the evil record company executive, and the woman succumbs to temptation. That's about as far as they could stretch the metaphor, though. The rest of the movie is about how the man tries to get the woman back, and how they are both taken in by a nomadic tribe of hippies, before God eventually rescues everybody and takes then away to populate a new planet. No, really, that's how it ends.
RiffTrax has recently done of riff of this movie. I tried watching it once without the riff, and could only get about 10 minutes into it. RiffTrax makes it much more watchable, but it is still a chore.
Maybe the greatest bad movie of all time
jellopuke24 July 2021
Look, this is either a 10 or a zero depending on how you view movies. As a movie musical it's objectively awful with bad acting, music, dancing, sets, songs, no story, etc, etc BUT as a stunningly hilarious, jaw-dropping piece of WTF this is pure gold and is maybe the greatest piece of terribleness ever created by humanity. This is The Room of musicals, so bad it's good, worth seeing again and again in large groups. You can't believe how bad it is and it just keeps getting worse until they run out of ideas and just end it. MUST SEE.
The Universal Melody of BAD.
js1artglam5 October 2002
Mind-bogglingly, wonderfully, transplendantly HORRID. More fun than "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" (in fact, me and half dozen friends are watching and singing along as I type this) and even more campy than "Showgirls." And that's saying ALOT. All fans of goodbad movies should try and get a copy, any copy, on ebay - even a 10th generation VHS of its terrible not-very-pan-and-scan print is worth watching!
The first hour is quite enjoyable.
soulexpress4 June 2018
Set in the Dystopian future of 1994, this musical about the record business--and the Satan-like man who controls it--pays homage to "Hair," "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," "Grease," and even "Xanadu" and "Can't Stop the Music." The first hour is kind of fun, but it gets tedious during the final 30 minutes. And the deus ex machina that ends the film is just a cop-out.
1 1/2 hours of musical WTF-ery
craigfordavid2 November 2018
Wow. Well that was a hot mess complete with Gandalf living in a cave under the bridge leading a hippie commune and oh my god there's a flying interstellar ghost car that the almighty rocks around in. These are some of the 'highlights' you have to look forward to with this campy misfire, and that's really just scratching the surface.
One the one hand I feel like everyone should see The Apple once just to witness a jumbled spectacle unlike anything else available in this universe or any other. On the other hand I have legitimate fears that many years from now on my death bed images from this bizarre misadventure will pop into my head and I will be be eternally doing the BIM. Chilling stuff.
In the end I can't really recommend it. I see how someone looking for a overlooked campy classic might wander into this one and be intrigued, but it's mostly a mess and most especially because the songs just aren't any good.
One the one hand I feel like everyone should see The Apple once just to witness a jumbled spectacle unlike anything else available in this universe or any other. On the other hand I have legitimate fears that many years from now on my death bed images from this bizarre misadventure will pop into my head and I will be be eternally doing the BIM. Chilling stuff.
In the end I can't really recommend it. I see how someone looking for a overlooked campy classic might wander into this one and be intrigued, but it's mostly a mess and most especially because the songs just aren't any good.
Glorious Melange Of Bad Taste, Stolen Plot Themes, And Horrible Songs.
jehaccess69 January 2009
Warning: Spoilers
This truly horrid film is loaded with entertainment value! I have watched it several times and always find new and inventive aspects to offend and amaze me. Obviously the screenplay liberally steals themes from countless bad films and mixes them with themes from scripture. Who else would consider having surgeons break into a dance number in the middle of an operation?
I enjoyed the musical efforts from Catherine Mary Stewart. I was all set to praise her singing talent until I read some external reviews that reveal she merely lip synced her songs. Why am I surprised at that? She does have a fabulous figure here. Those legs are to die for!
The scene where Bibi is tempted to sign the contract with Mr. Boogaloo to enjoy the results of show business success made me consider that Catherine Mary Stewart took a bite of the apple in real life to appear in this movie. I doubt that she wishes anyone to remember this film she made in the early stages of her career.
I was impressed by the linguistic abilities of Vladek Sheybal. He was obviously fluent in at least four languages. He had a sly expression of delight as he portrayed his over-the-top character, Mr. Boogaloo. I remembered him portraying the heavy in 'Shogun' and 'Red Dawn'. I had no idea he was capable of so much more.
I am glad I recently came across this gem from the dark days of Disco. It was truly worth the price of the DVD to see such an appalling piece of crap that nevertheless makes you want to enjoy the guilty pleasure again and again.
I enjoyed the musical efforts from Catherine Mary Stewart. I was all set to praise her singing talent until I read some external reviews that reveal she merely lip synced her songs. Why am I surprised at that? She does have a fabulous figure here. Those legs are to die for!
The scene where Bibi is tempted to sign the contract with Mr. Boogaloo to enjoy the results of show business success made me consider that Catherine Mary Stewart took a bite of the apple in real life to appear in this movie. I doubt that she wishes anyone to remember this film she made in the early stages of her career.
I was impressed by the linguistic abilities of Vladek Sheybal. He was obviously fluent in at least four languages. He had a sly expression of delight as he portrayed his over-the-top character, Mr. Boogaloo. I remembered him portraying the heavy in 'Shogun' and 'Red Dawn'. I had no idea he was capable of so much more.
I am glad I recently came across this gem from the dark days of Disco. It was truly worth the price of the DVD to see such an appalling piece of crap that nevertheless makes you want to enjoy the guilty pleasure again and again.
Long live B.I.M.!
Hey_Sweden2 June 2019
"The Apple" is a futuristic musical (released in 1980, it takes place in 1994) that uses numerous rock and pop numbers to help tell the story of an innocent singing duo from Canada, Bibi (Catherine Mary Stewart, who actually is from the Great White North) and Alphie (George Gilmour), who fall prey to the machinations of evil music industry magnate Mr. Boogalow (Vladek Sheybal). He successfully drives a wedge in between them, and she becomes a pop music sensation for his company. But Alphie is not about to give up on the great love of his life.
"The Apple" was directed by Cannon Group head honcho Menahem Golan, one of his handful of filmmaking efforts, and written by same, based on a story by Kobi and Iris Recht (they were responsible for the songs). It's utter nonsense, yet it's so cheerfully ridiculous that it's hard to just dismiss it outright. It's nonsense with a purpose, as it seeks to satirize society. The viewer can hardly fail to notice the greed and ambition personified in Mr. Boogalow, as well as the way this movie puts an over the top spin on marketing: any person who doesn't get with the program and wear a "B.I.M. mark" (basically, a sticker) on their forehead will be ticketed by the authorities!
Add to that the very splashiness and gaudiness of this colourful entertainment, and you have something that fans might not describe as "good", per se, but definitely eye-catching and irresistibly goofy. Costumes, sets, and makeup are all hilarious. It took a long time before "The Apple" began to become something of a cult favourite, but now there are fans who readily admit to enjoying it. Presumably, some even do so unironically.
In her starring film debut, the lovely Ms. Stewart is radiant and appealing, and the rest of the cast is amusing to watch: Gilmour as the earnest Alphie, Joss Ackland pulling double duty as the hippie leader and the heavenly Mr. Topps, the unsubtly decorated Sheybal as the Devilish bad guy, Allan Love as his flashy son Dandi, Ray Shell as the effeminate Shake, gorgeous Grace Kennedy as the star performer Pandi, and Miriam Margolyes as the concerned landlady. George S. Clinton, who plays the American reporter Joe Pittman, was already a busy film composer; his credits in this capacity include "Mortal Kombat", the "Austin Powers" series, and "Wild Things".
At once campy and sincere, this is a truly cheesy and tacky entertainment that certainly leaves an impact, which is more than one can say for some movies.
Seven out of 10.
"The Apple" was directed by Cannon Group head honcho Menahem Golan, one of his handful of filmmaking efforts, and written by same, based on a story by Kobi and Iris Recht (they were responsible for the songs). It's utter nonsense, yet it's so cheerfully ridiculous that it's hard to just dismiss it outright. It's nonsense with a purpose, as it seeks to satirize society. The viewer can hardly fail to notice the greed and ambition personified in Mr. Boogalow, as well as the way this movie puts an over the top spin on marketing: any person who doesn't get with the program and wear a "B.I.M. mark" (basically, a sticker) on their forehead will be ticketed by the authorities!
Add to that the very splashiness and gaudiness of this colourful entertainment, and you have something that fans might not describe as "good", per se, but definitely eye-catching and irresistibly goofy. Costumes, sets, and makeup are all hilarious. It took a long time before "The Apple" began to become something of a cult favourite, but now there are fans who readily admit to enjoying it. Presumably, some even do so unironically.
In her starring film debut, the lovely Ms. Stewart is radiant and appealing, and the rest of the cast is amusing to watch: Gilmour as the earnest Alphie, Joss Ackland pulling double duty as the hippie leader and the heavenly Mr. Topps, the unsubtly decorated Sheybal as the Devilish bad guy, Allan Love as his flashy son Dandi, Ray Shell as the effeminate Shake, gorgeous Grace Kennedy as the star performer Pandi, and Miriam Margolyes as the concerned landlady. George S. Clinton, who plays the American reporter Joe Pittman, was already a busy film composer; his credits in this capacity include "Mortal Kombat", the "Austin Powers" series, and "Wild Things".
At once campy and sincere, this is a truly cheesy and tacky entertainment that certainly leaves an impact, which is more than one can say for some movies.
Seven out of 10.
One of the Best Bad Movies
truemythmedia11 September 2019
It's hard to put my finger on why I like "The Apple." It really doesn't make any sense to like it. The plot is muddled when it isn't ridiculous, the characters are almost nonexistent for how thinly veiled they are as metaphors, and the music is absolutely dreadful. Even the sound sync is maddeningly off so that your mind is constantly battling to comprehend the difference between what it sees and hears.
This is a film which fails on every level by which film is typically measured so how can it be that I can say that I genuinely like it and not on an ironic, 'look-how-bad-it-is level?
Well first, it doesn't hurt that I do enjoy watching bad movies already. Many of the things that don't work in this film also don't work in "Suburban Sasquatch," "Miami Connection," or "The Room." I like those movies too, but not quite in the same way that I like "The Apple."
A big part of why I like this film is because it is obviously a film which the director cared about. You can read all day about Golan & Globus and their scammy exploitative way of making films but they were known for cheap as dirt, campy, action flicks with boobs, guns, and gore.
"The Apple" just isn't like that. It's basically a hippie condemnation of corporate art's lack of soul. It's hard not to watch it and see parallels to Warhol, American Idol, and, probably, how the director saw himself and his artistic partner, Yoram Globus. I don't necessarily think that they saw themselves accurately in that regard but I'm pretty sure that was the mirror into which he was looking.
This idea of a "passion project" is a real rosetta stone for people who wonder how I, and others like me, can possibly enjoy watching a bad movie. Watching someone really swing for the fences, even if they hit it foul, is still impressive. I've made short films, worked on features, made most of a documentary and I know how hard it is to make anything at all.
I'm sure this movie is in no way the embodiment of what the director wanted it to be but it also is the product of genuine desire and sweat. I admire that and feel the same way about Menahem Golan as Tommy Wiseau and Y.K. Kim. Sure the movies they made were bizarre, off-key, and unintentionally laughter inducing but at the end of the day I still respect them far more than the average online blogger who talks about all of the problems in the continuity but has never made anything more impressive than a few tweets that got retweeted by Buzzfeed.
"The Apple" is also a member of a subgenre of bad movie, which is certainly an acquired taste: the musical bad movie. I think the reason I love these kinds of films is that musicals are so complicated even wonderfully talented filmmakers can falter when it comes to harmoniously mixing a whimsical song and dance number with more conventional acting and dialogue. It should be no surprise when Menahem Golan tries to make a musical, a director who can barely manage to get a convincing prop gun into the hands of an underpaid centerfold/aspiring actress for a few fight sequences, the result is utter nonsense.
Films have rhythms and flow just like music does so if the two don't compliment each other it blows up in a cacophony of boredom and bewilderment as your brain tries to make sense of what it is seeing. In "The Apple" this is further complicated by the fact that the music and the film as independent entities have no rhythm. The songs are half spoken and where it is sung, it is sung hard. Like, really hard.
This brings a level of failure to the film that is truly delightful. It is like being able to laugh at my own bad films. I'm not just laughing at the failure of a specific director. I'm laughing at my own high school poetry. I am laughing at the movie I would probably make if I had the same combination of their budget and time.
The last reason I love this film is because of my friends. I have been blessed with an upbringing that included MST3K and then early Rifftrax so bad movies and jokes about them have been formative to my cinematic taste. As an adult, I have been blessed with some of the funniest people in the world as friends. Their commentary along with a film is a true delight and while I still enjoy a Rifftrax, when I see a bad movie, my first thought is not, "is there a rifftrax of this?" It's, "can I get Seth, Chad, Karl, The Jareds, John, or Lucas to watch this with me?"
So, while for the average moviegoer the terrible quality of the movie may seem a flaw, for me, it is a feature. While the story may seem so simple and "boring," it is exactly that quality that lets me look past it to imagine the shoot days, the writing process and all the fun I am having watching something so campy, earnest, and hilarious along with my best friends.
If that is a bad movie, then maybe "bad movie" is more of a genre than just a descriptor of the quality.
This is a film which fails on every level by which film is typically measured so how can it be that I can say that I genuinely like it and not on an ironic, 'look-how-bad-it-is level?
Well first, it doesn't hurt that I do enjoy watching bad movies already. Many of the things that don't work in this film also don't work in "Suburban Sasquatch," "Miami Connection," or "The Room." I like those movies too, but not quite in the same way that I like "The Apple."
A big part of why I like this film is because it is obviously a film which the director cared about. You can read all day about Golan & Globus and their scammy exploitative way of making films but they were known for cheap as dirt, campy, action flicks with boobs, guns, and gore.
"The Apple" just isn't like that. It's basically a hippie condemnation of corporate art's lack of soul. It's hard not to watch it and see parallels to Warhol, American Idol, and, probably, how the director saw himself and his artistic partner, Yoram Globus. I don't necessarily think that they saw themselves accurately in that regard but I'm pretty sure that was the mirror into which he was looking.
This idea of a "passion project" is a real rosetta stone for people who wonder how I, and others like me, can possibly enjoy watching a bad movie. Watching someone really swing for the fences, even if they hit it foul, is still impressive. I've made short films, worked on features, made most of a documentary and I know how hard it is to make anything at all.
I'm sure this movie is in no way the embodiment of what the director wanted it to be but it also is the product of genuine desire and sweat. I admire that and feel the same way about Menahem Golan as Tommy Wiseau and Y.K. Kim. Sure the movies they made were bizarre, off-key, and unintentionally laughter inducing but at the end of the day I still respect them far more than the average online blogger who talks about all of the problems in the continuity but has never made anything more impressive than a few tweets that got retweeted by Buzzfeed.
"The Apple" is also a member of a subgenre of bad movie, which is certainly an acquired taste: the musical bad movie. I think the reason I love these kinds of films is that musicals are so complicated even wonderfully talented filmmakers can falter when it comes to harmoniously mixing a whimsical song and dance number with more conventional acting and dialogue. It should be no surprise when Menahem Golan tries to make a musical, a director who can barely manage to get a convincing prop gun into the hands of an underpaid centerfold/aspiring actress for a few fight sequences, the result is utter nonsense.
Films have rhythms and flow just like music does so if the two don't compliment each other it blows up in a cacophony of boredom and bewilderment as your brain tries to make sense of what it is seeing. In "The Apple" this is further complicated by the fact that the music and the film as independent entities have no rhythm. The songs are half spoken and where it is sung, it is sung hard. Like, really hard.
This brings a level of failure to the film that is truly delightful. It is like being able to laugh at my own bad films. I'm not just laughing at the failure of a specific director. I'm laughing at my own high school poetry. I am laughing at the movie I would probably make if I had the same combination of their budget and time.
The last reason I love this film is because of my friends. I have been blessed with an upbringing that included MST3K and then early Rifftrax so bad movies and jokes about them have been formative to my cinematic taste. As an adult, I have been blessed with some of the funniest people in the world as friends. Their commentary along with a film is a true delight and while I still enjoy a Rifftrax, when I see a bad movie, my first thought is not, "is there a rifftrax of this?" It's, "can I get Seth, Chad, Karl, The Jareds, John, or Lucas to watch this with me?"
So, while for the average moviegoer the terrible quality of the movie may seem a flaw, for me, it is a feature. While the story may seem so simple and "boring," it is exactly that quality that lets me look past it to imagine the shoot days, the writing process and all the fun I am having watching something so campy, earnest, and hilarious along with my best friends.
If that is a bad movie, then maybe "bad movie" is more of a genre than just a descriptor of the quality.
See also
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