Review of The Apple

The Apple (1980)
Always bad but never boring.
12 February 2003
Warning: Spoilers
Here's a godawful "futuristic" musical from 1980 that takes place in 1994 (which gives you an idea of just how campy it is), about an evil record executive debauching a naive couple from (no kidding) Moose Jaw, Canada. There's some kind of religious allegory here and there throughout the murky plot, and the songs must be heard to be believed. (One is a basically unveiled ode to the orgasm, which makes me wonder how the movie got a PG rating.)

THE APPLE is CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC (the music-world milieu) meets ROCKY HORROR (innocent couple corrupted by bizarre characters), and it liberally "borrows" scenes from everything from BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS to HAIR. And, oh my, the costumes. I wouldn't know where to begin describing them, so all I'll say is that camel-toe was apparently stylish for both men and women at one time.

Which is all another way of saying that THE APPLE is the newest camp classic that I must add to my collection, and I thank Showtime Beyond for unearthing this craptastic pop masterpiece. (A widescreen DVD would be nice, though.)
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