The Glorious Seven (2019) Poster

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3/10
It has a few redeeming features......
allentc-2041522 September 2019
1) The actresses playing Valentina and the guerilla who lets her guard down are pretty eye catching. Maybe it's because they're not the usual Hollywood Babe du Jour, I dunno. But there's that.

2) The scenery. I spent most of the flick trying to figure out where it was filmed. I was waaaaaaaay off most of the time. I wish I could take my RV to Europe and check out Spain and the Ukraine. Looks gorgeous!

Other than that, just kind of a cheesy, low-budget action flick. They usual horrible small-unit tactics too.
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2/10
Dont watch
rbalym12 January 2020
2 stars only for the title and nothing more to say
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2/10
Not so glorious
BandSAboutMovies16 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Seven mercenaries make up The Glorious Seven in writer-director Harald Franklin's homage to Akira Kurosawa's 1954 film The Seven Samurai.

The film has already been remade before. In 1960, director John Sturges turned it into The Magnificent Seven, which led to three sequels, Return of the Seven, Guns of the Magnificent Seven and The Magnificent Seven Ride. There was also a TV series that lasted from 1998-2000. In turn, it was remade in 2016.

The A-Team was another sort of remake that combined The Magnificent Seven with The Dirty Dozen. It was to originally star James Coburn, who played Britt in the film as Hannibal. That role went to George Peppard and Robert Vaughn, who played Lee in Sturges' film, would appear in the final season of the show.

Speaking of Peppard and Vaughn, they both show up in another Seven Samurai reimagining, 1980's Battle Beyond the Stars, with Vaughn playing nearly the exact same role as Gelt, down to even some of the same dialogue. It's an intended homage, as the planet they seven defend in this film is called Akir, named for Seven Samurai director Akira Kurosawa.

That movie also features Sybil Danning, who would go on to be in yet another Seven Samurai-inspired movie, Seven Magnificent Gladiators.

The opening credits of The Glorious Seven directly reference both Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven by showing how each character in this movie relates to who they were inspired by in those films, including Yul Brenner's Chris Adama and Toshiro Mifune's Kikuchiyo. That's pretty audacious and a lot for any movie to live up to.

Ex-military commander David Guerra has been hired by a crooked millionaire to rescue his wife, who was kidnapped by the leader of a guerrilla group. So he recruits six of his former special forces buddies to be part of his impossible mission.

The issue here is that the filmmakers want us to believe that this is a heartfelt homage to the films that inspired it - the aforementioned credits sequence pretty much shouts that out loud - yet the mission isn't to protect people who can't defend themselves. Instead, it's to rescue the kept wife of an evil man who we're shown is wrong in no uncertain terms.

Instead, this is simply an action movie with leanings toward being seen in the same light as the aforementioned films. It can't live up to that, no matter how many MMA fights and bullets get fired. It's fine at that, but when judged against to the movies that it makes a direct comparison to in the opening credits, it can't help but suffer.
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1/10
Don't you believe it ...
dw817712 July 2019
Must agree with gpsychos2-239-278464. I decided to watch it and found it crap.

For these "viewers" who are rating this film 9 or 10 stars, click on their name to see this is the ONLY film they've reviewed. gpsychos is correct. It's staff, actors, workers, and then some who were part of the production of the film.

Very very disappointing a film company would resort to such underhanded tactics.
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1/10
Q: How-to tell if a movie is bad?? A: Keep reading
gpsychos2-239-27846412 March 2019
Theres always a sign. Some are subtle. Others such as the one we are going to talk about are not. When a movie is new like this the "Star" rating is usually worthless. Most people involved with the production actors,directors,extras,family members and basically every single person associated will have dropped by and dumped an 8-10 star rating just to help promote it. So when you see under 100 ratings barely breaking 4 stars total means anyone involved got as far away from this film as fast as the time it takes to yell "cut". They didnt brag about it, mention they were involved or tell family and close friends to watch it and give them a good rating. Even knowing that i still took a chance and watched it based on the trailer. Dont make my mistake and think theres any redeeming qualities to this film. There isnt.Im not even going to list why because the film isnt worth anymore of my time. I only do this to warn others away and hopefully save someone from the visual and auditory torture I went thru lol
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1/10
I would rather have a hot sauce enema than EVER watch this again.
DarlingLlama12 January 2020
This film was a steaming pile of filth.

The writing was absolute garbage and the script was further abused by the absolutely horrible acting. I've seen better performances from third grades at a Christmas pageant.

If the director, writer, and producers had tied me to a chair and smashed my toes into a pulp with hammers for 84 minutes I would probably hate them less than I do now.
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1/10
Help me understand to why a single cent was wasted on that piece of garbage
kaleem_09198313 March 2019
It is beyond my comprehension, a movie that bad, a script that broken and actors that wooden can actually make a movie and if that movie was made - they had the audacity to show that in theater. It's a crime on its own and incarceration is not a worthy destination. The people who were involved in this project should be banished from the face of the earth so they keep people on earth away from this atrocity. Make movies on Mars idiots!!
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1/10
ACtion and Fun in a great and light compination
toniagliata-824-18645818 March 2019
I really enjoyed watching that movie. because it is high entertaining and the same time fun bringing the audience at all parts of the world. I like very much the simplicity and the way of telling a action-story without bloody splatter and deep serious meaning. I am sure that there are a lot of people thinking like me. That want to see action, story and entertainment without brutality. Cinema should be again more like that. Entering a journey into beautiful environments and interesting settings. If I want to see horror and brutal death its enough to see news. I have the feeling that there is a new movement of cinema being entertaining but not to realistic. Have a look at how James Bond movies changed over the decades.. Honestly I like more the older ones which where more about entering e journey than seeing suffering and blood. Lets take Glodfinger.

I can only say great job... They got the line between.
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1/10
Appaling
ptrsknnr11 January 2020
Watching now....very bad acting....glad i didnt pay to see it....waste of time dont bother
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1/10
My eyes!!!
nolimitallstars111 January 2020
Welp... that is 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back! I only made it that far before turning it off.
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10/10
Swollen action with a dramatic basis
donkino-7145616 March 2019
If you don't expect this film to be a festival revelation, you won't be disappointed. You get exactly what you pay for - a lot of shots and tricks, beautiful women, brave muscle fighters, harsh unshaven rebels in the South American jungle, picturesque landscapes, liters of artificial blood and a great mood. When I was a kid, such films were always on TV and VHS. So, if you are nostalgic for the 90's, if your life seems fresh to you, drop everything and watch Glorious Seven immediately.
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6/10
An exciting evening
diana-8150525 March 2019
Even if the idea is not completely new, the implementation is very well done and the movie quite an exciting evening entertainment.
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2/10
She is my wife. I want her back.
nogodnomasters17 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Anthony Levin (Fernando Carrera) is a millionaire who lives in Central America. His abused wife Valentina (Julia Mulligan) is kidnapped by freed rebel Javier Mendoza (Fernando Corral) and he doesn't get a ransom note. Levin hires David Guerra (Jerry Kwarteng) to get back his wife and get him Mendoza. Guerra gets a group of seven to help him.

The film appears to have been dubbed. The gathering of the crew should have been good scenes but was lame. No character development.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
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1/10
Its not an action movie its a comedy
mihk-4520612 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I can handle a bit of wooden acting but when you can describe the cast as a forest of actors you know your in for a truly memorable film. Five minutes in and I thought to myself, low budget film so lets give it a chance, ten minutes and I'm thinking that this must be a parody as nobody knows how to handle weapons properly in an action film. It was around the twenty minute mark, just about when I was going to give up and leave, that I burst out laughing and new I had to watch the whole thing. Some guy in a ski mask is trying to act all 'tough kidnapper' at the back of the boat wafting a kids air rifle about. This is not a movie you go and watch to be entertained, this is the movie you hurl abuse at with your mates over a few beers. Gun nuts are going to be destroying anyone holding a weapon and ex-force will be wetting themselves with laughter about pretty much everything else. You need to know that this is a truly truly bad movie, and possibly already a little drunk, before you hand over good money to watch this.
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2/10
A film with an identity crisis.
ellic11 October 2019
The title of the film exposes the cinematic ignorance of the writers and producers.

The film's title to leads one to believe the story is based on the 1960 Magnificent 7, forget the 2016 politically correct remake. In reality the plot is from the The Professionals 1966. In either case the acting talent is not even close to either movie. Forget the writing, the word talent does not apply to this film script.

None of the actors in this are up to the stars of either of its' predecessor's. Sorry but they can't compete with The Professionals: Burt Lancaster, Lee Marvin, Robert Ryan, jack Palance, Robert Ryan, Ralph Bellamy and Claudia Cardinale or The Magnificent 7: Yul Brenner, Steve McQueen, Robert Vaughn, Charles Bronson.

Worse, whereas in The Professionals you don't find out the plot twist until the end, in this piece of crap the start letting out hints in the 2nd scene.

You really have to veg your brain out for this, if you can do that you'll enjoy it. If you can't do that, watch either of the 2 other originals. Or better yet watch both of the originals.
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1/10
I will never get this time of my life back
sskuse-3195716 September 2020
I'm usually one to give a movie a chance, but within 30 min of the movie, I already started to lose interest. The script seems okay, and that's being kind. But the acting... nowhere close to believable and excruciatingly painful to watch. Like getting root canal done with no freezing and the dentist having caffeine shakes would be less painful. Save yourself, don't watch this movie, not even if you're drink or on something.
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1/10
Waste
cmdmano-749-3370193 August 2020
Don't waste of your time with this stupid movie. No story..no reality.. b graded waste
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1/10
School kid would shoot better!
lunarpeople11 January 2020
The very feel of this movie is reminiscent of the 80's or 70's movies. Everything in this movie feels under-cooked - acting, dialog, action. It has dirt on the faces and right location, but beyond all that it's a joke... It's hard to believe that someone went on shooting this flick and set down in post production stitching it together and couldn't see, that this movie should have not been made at all. The plot is in, but everything within the plot as an utter chaos. Shooting, fights... my god! Tragic!!!
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1/10
O M G !
staunton-gary20 August 2020
Wow, just wow. that's got to be one of the worst productions I've ever seen, and one of the longest horse walking scenes in history. I'm glad that I placed this in my "to review" folder, it's now in the "recycle bin" and I've just emptied it. Stay clear of this one.
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10/10
This movie is 2 in one:action and love story!Cool,i like it!
Rosamundocaralle19 March 2019
I am not a big fan of action movies,but in this movie I have seen also the story between the lines.International actors make the movie colourful and unusual.And different locations,wow!It seems that the movie was shot in 5 different countries.This is a kind of movie,which you should watch not to think much,but to relax.Me and my boyfriend got a pleasure and even made fun.
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7/10
I like it
mark-8816725 March 2019
I really liked the movie. Very beautiful landscapes and exciting story. At times, the plot is only a bit hectic driven, but this keeps the movie at least in the flow. In some places, a little more peace would have made sense.
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9/10
Powerful Action !
axel-7148320 March 2019
In my opinion this is a fantastic action movie. From the beginning, the film captivates. Good pictures, good story and great nature shots. I was excited !!!
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7/10
All in all a fine movie
forgetitbro21 March 2019
The films is not so fantastic but it is very entertaining. The action scenes keeps you up all the time.
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10/10
Very cool action movie
h_geller22 March 2019
I really enjoyed this cool action movie and found it highly entertaining.
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6/10
A GOOD ONE
julia-2231325 March 2019
My expectations were not particularly high, the more I was particularly surprised by the strong performance of the performers and the really great staging.
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