The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987) Poster

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4/10
Holy Heck
gavin69428 April 2016
Dodger must confront the struggles of life as he is visited by the Garbage Pail Kids and intimidated by some older bullies.

Although apparently later owned by Orion and then MGM, this film was originally produced and distributed by Atlantic Entertainment Group. At this point, they had some minor hits with "Valley Girl", "Teen Wolf" and "Night of the Comet", but were never a major player. Not surprisingly, within two years of this film coming out, they were defunct.

Rod Amateau directed, produced, and co-wrote the film. He had not made any other films of note, but had a distinguished career going back decades in television. Interestingly, this was his final film -- despite living almost another 20 years. Was it a career killer? Amateau had as his right-hand man John Carl Buechler, which was the right choice, although given the film's focus on puppets, Buechler's involvement (not to mention Phil Fondacaro) give it the feeling of a Charles Band film. And that is never a good thing.

In fact, Buechler was involved before even Amateau, and in some ways had more to do with the final product. Apparently the Chiodo Brothers ("Killer Klowns") were contacted and passed, and next in line was John Carl Buechler, who was fresh off of "Troll". He was briefly considered as not just the effects guy but also the director, but his vision was too dark. He thought of the Kids as monsters, not something lovable, and the studio disagreed. He reflects, "The best stuff in the movie is them farting and blowing snot on each other... but it had to walk this line of being a gentle fairy tale." He thinks the blend was a bad idea, and he is probably right.

Buechler was the one who brought in Phil Fondacaro, and Phil brought in the "little people" he knew. So indirectly, Buechler not only created the Kids, but provided the actors who would play them. Buechler also brought in John Criswell, who had done effects for "Re-Animator" and "From Beyond", and has since gone on to bigger things like "The hangover". And William Butler, who is a terrible human being, but an important part of horror history, with all that he has designed, written, directed and acted in since the mid-80s.

The film was universally panned, receiving overwhelmingly negative reviews, and is widely considered to be one of the worst films ever made. Caryn James of The New York Times called the film "too repulsive for children or adults of any age", and it sits very, very low on both Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb. This abysmal (and fair) criticism aside, 2015-2016 welcomed a small resurgence of Garbage Pail Kids, with new cards coming out, and a very positive retrospective written in HorrorHound magazine. Indeed, the film can now be looked back upon as a strange moment in 1980s history, or what star Mackenzi Astin calls "what-the-f***ery".

Scream Factory found this to be the right time to release the film on blu-ray, and if there ever was a right time this may have been it. The film, as truly awful as it is, does seem better now (2016) than when it first came out. Even as a child I thought it was terrible, but now it has just a twinkle of nostalgia to make it palatable. The Scream disc comes with a few interviews of varying length and quality. The brief interview with Buechler is good, as he is not afraid of being honest. The real gem of this release, however is the interview with Mackenzie Astin. He talks freely for approximately 30 minutes and has countless stories to share about his father, his co-stars and more. If the movie might not be enough to make you buy the disc, his interview should be.
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2/10
Proof God doesn't exist, and if he does, he hates humanity.
unakaczynski12 July 2007
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie 1987 PG

I'm sure a lot of us remember the Garbage Pail Kids. Especially us old geezers like me who grew up in the 80's. They were like the grotesque, mutant versions of the cute little Cabbage Patch Kids. Essentially, they were the Cabbage Patch Kids made for boys. Instead of unnervingly cute dolls, they were fun and gross collections of art printed on cards, like baseball cards. Printed by Topps, who made baseball cards. And no, they weren't like those modern Garbage Pail Kids, the ones we had in the 80's were fvcking nasty. Cards laden with feces, vomit, mutilation of others, self-mutilation, gore, violence, and just about the sickest crap you could come up with. That's why they were so great. The recent GPK cards they've made are just plain stupid. Trust me, these new cards are like making a PG-rated Predator film. That's how tame they are compared to the past ones.

Of course, as with anything that's even remotely popular, some genius decides that, hey, there should be a movie to go along with this latest fad. Now, a lot of things that seemed like fads or trends that get turned into movies typically get turned into… crappy movies. And this has to be one of the worst. The rude, crude, vile, disgusting, offensive Garbage Pail Kids are little more than gross misunderstood aliens who… (sigh) live in a garbage can. Believe it or not, the main focus of this film is about a boy trying to impress some shallow skank with, what else, 80's fashion sense. That's right! The Garbage Pail Kids film is about fashionable clothing! Not that any of this stuff is fashionable in the least! In reality, it's disgusting! More disgusting than the pathetically tame Garbage Pail Kids who, and I'm not making this up, actually have a sing-along number wherein they sing about the joys and benefits of teamwork and helping people. And they design "killer 80's clothes!" The film is the very definition of shlock!

Alright, the reason I saw this is because my wife found it in some DVD discount bin (big surprise, I know) for what must have been 27 cents and got it as a stocking-stuffer for my three-year old son last Christmas. This film is so wretchedly bad, it's almost indescribable. The acting is bad, the atmosphere is bad, the special effects are bad, the music is cheesy (bad cheesy), and the story is ludicrous to say the least. The Garbage Pail Kids aren't even gross, offensive, or for that matter, interesting. A lot of one-liners and cheap gags that do nothing but agonize the living. Honestly, what little boy who enjoyed little cards of pudgy little girls bleeding to death and disgusting corpses doing stuff would want to watch a puny little movie about teamwork, loving the ugly, and 80's fashion? If ever there was a film that "missed the point," it was this mess. Only for the cinematic brave, I gave it a two only for the sheer wackiness of it's very existence.

2/10
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2/10
If you hate yourself or somebody else, there's no better punishment than watching this
zetes25 August 2013
If you were a boy growing up in the 1980s, you likely collected the Garbage Pail Kids trading cards. I was obsessed with them, and I even got to see this movie when it was released. I didn't remember a thing about it, but I was aware that it now has a reputation as one of the worst movies ever made. And, boy howdy, does it deserve it! This thing is simply dreadful. It brings to life seven of the trading card characters in all their disgusting glory, making them impossibly hideous dwarfs with hydrocephalic domes. Ushering them into the world is Sean Astin's younger brother Mackenzie, who uses their skills at clothing design (?!) to impress an older girl (Katie Barberi, quite attractive). She uses his affection to pass the clothes off as her designs. The film's attempts at humor are predictably juvenile, but I doubt I found them even close to funny, even as an 8 year-old. The movie isn't boring, but it's mind-numbingly awful. A must-see for anyone who likes bad movies, though, be warned, this is far from being so bad it's good. It's so bad it's soul-crushing!
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1/10
Offensively Awful - How Did This Get Made?
drqshadow-reviews28 February 2012
Without question the worst movie I've ever seen, and not even in a "so bad it's good" sense. It's ninety minutes of sheer torture, starring a hideous cast of makeup nightmares; indisputable evidence of the lengths a commercial property can stretch for the almighty dollar. Like most children of the eighties, I had a healthy collection of GPK stickers in my closet growing up. The gross-out humor and macabre illustrations were a big selling point, but beneath all that was a creative core and a wild amount of versatility. Every card was completely different. The one-note comedy of their film translation, though, is like opening a pack filled with duplicates. I counted six jokes with a visual punchline of "and then he peed his pants." That's not an exaggeration, and it's not the only example of the flick's careless comedic redundancy. Combine that with an appalling song and dance number (seriously), a horribly out-of-place romantic subplot (starring a pre-pubescent boy and a girl well into her twenties, no less) and a gang of foils cut clumsily from recycled cardboard. It's genuinely amazing this ever saw the light of day.
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1/10
Give me back my lost hour & a half
jdjuice5 November 2008
This movie is terrible!! One of the fascinating things about the cast is that the two main characters 'Dodger' and 'Tangerine' happen to look at least 8yrs apart, but are in fact only 12mths apart.

The 'Garbage Pail Kids' themselves have awful costumes that are very poorly designed and really badly operated. The puppeteers need to be shot!!

I decided to find this movie and watch it because I hadn't seen it since it first come out, and I was sure I enjoyed it as a kid- What was wrong with me!!!

Save yourself a disappointing hour and a half....
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1/10
And what...in the world, was THAT?!!
TheLittleSongbird17 April 2010
As a lover of movies, I sat down to see The Garbage Pail Kids Movie after hearing from so many people how bad it was. Sometimes when I see "bad" movies, they are not so bad if mediocre,or movies that are so bad they're good, but there are other times when the movie that is supposed to be bad IS bad. This garbage belongs in the latter, it was so awful(in my opinion that is) that I didn't know whether to vomit or cry. I will give credit and say it is not quite the worst movie I have ever seen, but that isn't saying much.

Firstly, I do have to agree with other reviewers that this is one of the poorly written kids movies out there. I know this movie is supposed to be bad and mindless trash, but the dialogue alone makes it not only bad, it makes it garbage. The dialogue is mega lame and not quotable at all, and I didn't laugh once. The humour was also very grotesque, I know the cards are quite grotesque, and movies like Freddy Got Fingered had grotesque and very unsubtle humour, but The Garbage Pail Kids Movie takes the whole meaning of the word "grotesque" to a whole new level and in a bad way. Plus the pranks are very mean-spirited, as is the knockabout violence.

Then there is the story. What was the story again? To me, it had those talentless hacks Friedberg and Seltzer written over it, it is one of the most poorly constructed stories in a movie, with drawn out scenes, plodding pace you name it. Next, the production values, am I the only person who thought they were appalling? The sets were poor, the lighting was dim, the camera work was like direct to video quality, the special effects were laughable and the costumes were horrible. Don't get me wrong, I like 1980s fashion, it is funky and cool, but the costumes here made me want to gouge my eyes out.

Even the soundtrack was awful. Generic, lifeless and uninspired, even worse than the music in Disaster Movie, which sounded like it had been made up on the spot at last minute. Not to mention it is the epitome of cheesiness. And the acting was atrocious. Anthony Newley was wasted as Captain Manzini, and MacKenzie Astin is a bland and inept child protagonist. Juice and Tangerine are underdeveloped and clichéd, and Ali Gator, Greaser Greg and Nat Nerd are unlikeable and I think ugly characters with voices that have haunted me in my sleep since seeing the movie last night. And they wasted Jim Cummings completely here, the immortal voice actor who gave us Darkwing Duck, Dr RobotNik and Don Karnage has sounds utterly embarrassed here, it makes me want to cry.

Overall, absolutely awful. When I finished watching it, yes I watched the whole thing, I was like what was that? 1/10(and that is being kind, I could tell even from the title it wasn't going to be good). Bethany Cox
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1/10
Absolutely Awful
ilikethebeatles20 November 2005
This movie came on at around 6 AM on Cinemax this morning, and out of curiosity aroused from the fact that they would make a movie based on that utterly ridiculous card game, me and my friend sat down and decided to watch it. And almost instantly we were perplexed. Absolutely flabbergasted by the fact that a movie studio would go ahead and produce this movie. It is by far one of the most poorly written movies I have ever seen. The bizarre plot never seems to come together and make sense. The gags run utterly flat and actually tend to leave you with a sick feeling in your stomach. Not to mention one of the poorest makeup jobs in film history. As for the acting, one word can describe it: atrocious. The actors, with the exception only in some cases for Anthony Newley, seem to be doing nothing more than shouting their lines through the almost forced emotion, which comes over as horridly flat and unbelievable. If you're actually interested in this movie, I would go ahead and recommend it. A spectacle such as this film is something you rarely come upon.
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1/10
Tangerine, Juice, and Fashion!
ksmacy-229 August 2005
Warning: Spoilers
What do those things have to do with the Garbage Pail Kids? Heck if I know, but they are the basis for the whole plot. This is one of those movies that will never go away, because you pick it up thinking it is going to be funnier, grosser, and just better than it is, but I'm here to tell you its awful. You won't trust me. It is too allurring to not watch it for yourself, but you'll regret it. Mackenzie Astin cries frequently, is a foot shorter than his love interest, wins over a girl named Tangerine by designing Michael Jackson jackets, and distracts a bully by twirling a basketball on his finger, which should all have me rolling on the floor laughing hysterically, but instead I just stare aghast at the TV wondering if it would be better if the whites of the Kids' eyes maybe be white instead of dingy yellow. The GPK are so awkward, innocent, and happy, as they sing songs about team work, that you feel guilty laughing at them. Isn't there supposed to be violence, and maybe lewdness beyond the average PG potty humor? The character Valerie Vomit doesn't even vomit until the very end of the movie, but Windy and Nat sure do fart and pee a lot. Anyone have any ideas about why they came from a garbage-pail-rocket in space, yet they now reside in a magician's antique shop? Me neither.
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1/10
It Hurts
soleyforpizza16 March 2006
Everyone involved in the making of this movie, from the coke-vacuuming, muckraking scum who financed it to the gaffer's newest apprentice, is going directly to hell.

This isn't just a bad movie. It's a psychotic, surreal journey into the realm of the profoundly grotesque. The Garbage Pail Kids themselves are terrible in their deformity, with exaggerated facial features and apparent elephantitis of the cranium making them hurtful to witness. Poorly-done animatronics make them all appear as if their facial muscles have been injected with lidocaine. They have a collective IQ of approximately 58.

It's not pleasant to watch. It's not funny, it's not kitschy, it's not camp. The dialogue is pat and smarmy, the characters stupid and forgettable, and the whole slimy mess reeks of greedy bastards trying to make a fistful of money on the flavor of the week. TGPKM is another example of how depressingly low the common denominator really is...and this was BEFORE the reality TV craze.

It hurts.
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1/10
Even worse than I remembered!!!
H_Spengler12 May 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I decided for nostalgic value to rent it seeing I hadn't seen it on over 15 years.

I remember liking this movie when I was a kid, but hardly could remember anything about it, I realize now that it wasn't the passage of time, it was probably my brain trying to block it out.

There's not anything redeeming about this movie, AT ALL. no good times, no heartfelt jokes, not even sappy "awwww" moments. Don't get me wrong, I collected the cards and stickers when I was little, so I knew what the Garbagepail kids were all about, the flat, 1 dimensional quality of the cards spoke better than this live action film did.

I know people will say this movie is made to be enjoyed for kids, but if I had kids, I wouldn't let them near this piece of s**t.

The entire movie is shot is such a dark tone, that half the time you're squinting to see ANYTHING. Freakish/mutant kids are hidden away in a garbage pail, there's a great lesson right there, hide away those who are different. Loser boy works in a magic shop for an old man (who by the way the old man is the only enjoyable character in this whole film!!) Anyhow, freak kids escape can, refuse to go back in, we're "treated" to 90 minutes of burping, farting, pants wetting, whining, toe biting, vomiting, pimple busting, snot, etc., need I go on about this? You get the point.

Tangerine, the female in this film is a teenage "fashion designer" who uses the loser kid once she finds out the abilities of the "sweat shop" kids. Usually the predictable result of such films involve the snotty character realizing her own wrongs and trying to make them right, not here! There's also some silly side plots about the kids going to bars, getting in with the toughs, all of whom look like they just got done filming the Michael Jackson "Bad" video, the "romantic interest" between the loser and the stuck up fashion designer. Also I recollect there was some other ridiculousness about a "Home for the Ugly." My IQ fell about 10 points after watching this disaster, oh yeah, PLENTY of 80's feel good music and fashion that will leave you wanting no more. A terrible waste of potential talent and film, if you're yearning for 80's Nostalgia, rent any of the John Hughes films instead. 0/10
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Thank God I Grew Up
Michael_Elliott8 November 2009
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

1/2 (out of 4)

I must admit that I was seven years old when this movie came out. I was a fan of the cards and I remember begging my mother to take me to see this on opening day, which she did. A couple of my friends went along and I still remember the sold out crowd of pre-teens laughing and having a blast with the film. I believe I watched it a couple more times when it first hit VHS but I haven't seen it since....until this latest viewing.

What did I think of the film twenty-two years after being a kid who loved it? Well, it was the pits. It really shocked me to re-watch something I found entertaining as a kid and I know that saying that many kids never grow up but thankfully I did. Now I'm not going to sit here and put this film down for being disgusting, vile or featuring "ugly" jokes because nothing here offended me today. What I will put down is the entire screenplay, which really makes one scratch their head because the story is so bad that you can't help but wonder if any real attempt was made to come up with something good or if this was just thrown together to make some quick cash.

The story pretty much as the Garbage Pail Kids coming to the aid of a weak boy (Mackenzie Astin) who might just be getting taken advantage of by a girl (Katie Barberi) he has a crush on. I think the biggest problem with the screenplay is that it tries to tell too much story in regards to the GPK and this wasn't needed. The cards told us all we needed to know so the film should have just stood back and delivered the goods that the cards did.

Valorie Vomit, Ali Gator, Greaser Greg, Nat Nerd, Windy Winston, Messy Tessie and Foul Phil are the kids here and most of them never really get to dig into their "tricks" from the cards. Valorie Vomit, for one example, only does her thing once at the end of the movie. Now, a lot of parents back in the day would have said that's a good thing but every generation has its thing that parents object to and this was one from the 80s.

The performances are all pretty brutal with Astin not delivering anything and Barbieri delivering a really, really bad performance. You do have the costumes by John Carl Buechler who previously did the film TROLL and would later do Friday THE 13TH PART VII. While watching this horrid movie I couldn't help but smile at thinking back at some of the cards and passing them around class in the school. It's a real shame that this film didn't do anyone any good but I can't help but wish that a real R-rated remake would come along and really do things right.
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10/10
Best I've have ever seen, totally amazing
simonkallstrom17 August 2019
It really touched my heart, can't believe I missed out on this for decades. Mady my soul wipe.
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6/10
Vomit, farts, slime. It has it all.
Travis_Moran5 May 2005
This movie was so gross and revolting it was hilarious. It's kooky for sure, but you gotta laugh at the malformed "kids" and their gross hangups. Who ever thought to combine grossly malformed "kids" and fashion designing genius.

Now the acting is horrible and there isn't much of a plot. Still it's worth watching for the humorous incidents. Toe biting by the alligator, reeking farts, vomiting, all the wonderful grossness that captivates the 8-10 year old audience. I actually felt for the "normal" kid who took up for the garbage pail kids. Why did that biker gang punk always throw him in the mud---as if he couldn't take the kid's money in an easier way.

Don't watch this movie unless you first rid yourself of any type of analytical state of mind. You gotta just go with the flow on this one.

I don't know anything about the garbage pail cards, that's before my time. But this is the first movie I ever heard of based on trading cards.

Well, there's really nothing compelling here, but I found it worth a laugh or two. You might too.

I found this on a DVD. I don't think it's a commercial one, but it's pretty good. Actually I don't much care as it only cost $2.
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1/10
The Dumpster Fire Kids Movie
jamjohnx326 May 2017
I already knew this movie was legendarily bad, so I only have myself to blame for sitting down and watching it when it came on TV. To understand how this atrocity came to be, you have to understand what they were thinking when they were making it. Garbage Pail Kids was a trading card parody of the Cabbage Patch Kids that was basically a gross or ridiculous take on them. They were so popular that someone somewhere thought, "What if we took this shallow concept completely dependent on making fun of another property and turn it into a feature length film?" It's notable that the Cabbage Patch people never actually tried to go that far (or at least, never succeeded).

What we got was an ill-conceived dumpster fire that is an abject failure in every way conceivable. I could spend all day talking about how the story is nonsensical and aimless, how the suits/animatronics are creepy and nightmarish, etc. But that stuff's been covered a million times, so I'm going to focus on the real odious aspect, and that's the characters: a collection of paper thin, unmotivated tropes. Dodger is your typical bullied kid daring to look for bigger and better things. He's antagonized by a bunch of bullies for no reason other than for us to feel sorry for him (though if they bullied him because of his stupid name, I'd understand). Then there are the Garbage Pail Kids themselves, who are bizarrely portrayed as protagonists despite being repulsive physically and personality-wise. You can imagine the type of comedic depth you will encounter with characters like "Valerie Vomit" and "Windy Winston." When the characters aren't constantly farting and peeing on themselves, they're at each others' throats or even aggressively stepping to Dodger. I can only imagine the audience's reception to E.T. if he repeatedly threatened to shank Elliott if he didn't get to phone home. We're supposed to be rooting for these guys?

The most bizarre part of an already ridiculous movie happens when the bullies kidnap the kids and send them to the "State Home for the Ugly," where people deemed too ugly are executed. Wait, what? What is this twisted, alternate Earth where they kill off ugly people and why is it so out of place in what was beforehand (and after) a disgusting, cliché 80's mess? Lincoln and Gandhi are locked up here so I guess it's insultingly implying the Kids are unconventional in appearance but important for their contribution to society, some sort of misplaced Aesop about true beauty coming from within...despite the Kids being genuinely horrific on the inside. The kids are rescued (unfortunately) but their execution would have been a fitting end to this disaster. There's also a silly romance plot with a girl named Tangerine of all things, facilitated by the Kids' sudden ability to sew fashionable clothes for her fashion show.

So yeah, it's offensively bad. Don't make the same mistake I did and waste you time with it. There's nothing here for you but tears and fecal matter.
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1/10
Pure Garbage....
cyclone25911 June 2007
Warning: Spoilers
While trying to find a movie to watch at my local mega-chain video store I stumbled across Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie. It wasn't necessarily a title that I was interested in, but due to its nostalgic value, I thought my wife would enjoy it.

I do remember the Garbage Pail Kids pretty well, although they were a bit "after my time". It's no secret that the Garbage Pail Kids were supposed to be a disgusting and weird parody of the ever-so-clean Cabbage Patch Kids. When I rented it, I thought maybe there'd be some kind of creative use of sick and twisted humor, since the trading cards always had such delightfully vile characters on them. Was I ever wrong… First, let me start with the characters themselves. They looked exactly like they did on the trading cards, which was actually "off putting" in its own way. The costumes were very detailed, but the animatronics were horrible to say the least. It made me wonder if the people who designed them had been fired from Chuck E. Cheese's design studio.

Next, we have the "acting", but that's stretching it a bit; I've seen stronger scripts in 1970's porn. One commenter stated that "It looked like they were just making it up as they went along", to which I second that, although none of the dialog was even that imaginative. I just loved how the so-called bully (Juice) would harass Dodger, portrayed so ineptly by Mackenzie Astin by calling him a "creep" and then throwing him down in the sewer, dumpster, etc. All the human roles were cookie-cutter stereotypes and had absolutely no depth or personality whatsoever. I realize that this movie was made for kids, but even in other kid-friendly movies I've been forced to watch, you generally have some feeling or care about what's going on, even if it's only surface feelings. Watching this movie was the equivalent of having you eyelids propped open with toothpicks and duct tape and having to sit through an ABC After School Special about teen mothers played frame-by-frame in slow-motion and starring Scott Baio.

Two things I still can't get over were two locations used in the storyline: "TOUGHEST BAR IN THE WORLD" and the "STATE HOME FOR THE UGLY". I suppose the writers felt that their audiences were certified mentally challenged and that it's imperative that everything must be spelled out for them.

Movies can be silly, satirical, humorous, weird and even stupid sometimes, but this movie lacks all but the last I one I mentioned on this list. Nostalgia has never been so appalling as Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie.
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1/10
No other word besides 'dreadful' can sum up this movie
stevenverb-16 November 2010
Warning: Spoilers
I recently watched this movie again for the first time in years and it really is shambolic.

Usually at this point I would talk about the plot, but there isn't one! The acting is bad, so is the script and direction. The garbage pail kids were meant to represent that beauty comes from the inside, but the kids aren't that nice. The bad guys are in some scenes made out to be big time, but generally they get their kicks, from bullying and stealing a few dollars from a 14 year old! This is a script I would expect from a ten year old (and not a clever one at that) it's that bad. Even the puppeteering is not up to much (the mouths don't even open most of the time when the garbage pail kids talk!), thinking about I can't really think of anything positive, except that the rest of the kids were crushed by the authorities at the ridiculous named 'state home for the ugly' to save us all from having more dislikable characters on screen!

It is a film that seems to have had a half-hearted effort put into it. Not much makes sense and one of the unfortunate things was that captain Manzini was unable to get the kids back in the pail! However no sequel or series (as was intended) ever came to pass!
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1/10
There are bad movies, and then there are the Garbage Pail Kids
AlsExGal8 December 2018
I can make a solid case on it being the worst I've seen because at least other movies can turn into "So bad it's good" or "So bad it's hilariously bad" or have multiple features that generate enjoyment. This movie had Anthony Newley. That's it. It encompasses the worst of the 80s, complete with unlikable characters, repulsive aliens who move their mouths with minimal effort, repetitive gross-out gags, the antithesis of warmth, joy, empathy or entertainment and one of the worst original songs spawned by rejects of Satan's orchestra.
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1/10
what the hell!!
rockorbe20022 May 2010
Warning: Spoilers
this is it! officially the worst movie I've ever watched. and im not just saying it out of the moment. absolutely the worst. the fact that i didn't stop watching it after 10 minutes means i have a strong sense of resistance. besides the fact that the kids themselves make chucky from "child's play" look like a care bear and they're disgusting as hell, this movie contains the two stupidest plots ever integrated into a film. the first: the state home of the ugly. not making this up. i don't even think Hitler's eugenics program would have come up with such a thing. second: the bullies harrasing the main character, dodger, use him and the kids to (again, not making it up) run a scheme to make what the 80's considers "fashionable" clothes and sell them. for one, while the colombians were shipping tons upon tons of blow over here, these "thugs" were getting rich off of these. lame. and come on, even by 80's standards, these clothes were ridiculously wretched. then again, it WAS the 80's. oh well (shrug). that, and actually having the garbage pail kids actually have skills. lol. if you are gonna watch this and if you're of legal age, i highly recommend having some booze around. just saying.
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1/10
one of the worst things on this planet besides gangrene
chucknorrisrules10 August 2012
Warning: Spoilers
The only reason I ever heard of this appalling movie is because of Nostalgia Critic. Mercifully, I never had to witness it as a kid, but after the review (you think I'd spend money to see this pile of cinematic sewage?) I was convinced that something this nauseating could only be devised by the cruellest and most heartless of movie makers. After Distant Voices Still Lives I thought I'd seen it all. The worst of the worst. I was wrong.

The film involves a 12 year old kid being chased around by a group of bullies who strangely seem to be in their early twenties. There's some near-romantic sub-plot with a cute girl in that group (making it even more awkward), and the nonsensical introduction to these unexplained creatures who come from a garbage can. They have names according to their gross-out specialities, and their appearance is enough to cause even the strongest stomachs to return their breakfast. The man who keeps the place in which they are found is a man - presumably immortal judging by one of his speeches - who says that ugliness is not to be judged by appearance but character. I quote: 'to be blessed with unusual features is an adventure', something I'd love to see him try on most burn victims.

There's further nonsensical plot, a prison for ugly people, and I can't be bothered to explain the rest. If you don't understand this movie by what I say, neither do I. Mercifully, this movie was punished at the box office when parents successfully campaigned to have it banned. None of it makes sense, it is unfunny, and utterly, utterly sickening. Nobody should be subjected to this film for any reason other than torture. I'd find more joy in being hanged drawn and quartered.
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1/10
Why can't I put in 0?!
LordDynamo13 February 2013
Warning: Spoilers
If you don't believe what I'm about to say, then watch Nostalgia Critic's review of this. There is enough visual evidence there to show that this movie is atrocious.

Ever heard of the expression "Curiosity kills the cat"? Heed those words well. I had no idea how true they were until I made the stupid decision of watching the film despite the reception it received. My GOD, how idiotic I was.

The story, the characters, the acting. Everything seems like it was just thrown in and left to fend for itself...with no independence experience whatsoever.

And let's not forget the eponymous nightmares themselves, the Garbage Pail Kids. Not only are the costumes badly done and the mouth movements unsynchronized by miles, the kids look as creepy as sin - I still cannot get over the fact that one of them is an alligator (don't ask) - and the humor surrounding them is anything BUT funny. Not so much as a giggle but a cringe accompanied by a desire to vomit. I'm in no way surprised parents wanted to ban this movie!

Oh, and the love story between the boy and the girl in her twenties? How could they think this up and not think it creepy!?

So this film is based on a trading card game? Well, I'd much rather play the cards than watch this pile of dung a second time!

And to conclude: "The Toughest Bar in the World"? REALLY!?
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Well, It's no 'Ishtar' but...
magpie1325 August 2001
You people are insane and m' toissing the point.

When I was a teenager I used to take my friends out to the worst movie I could find on my birthday. I subjected them to everything from 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' to 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band'

My piece dah rezistence was 'The Garbage Pail Kids Movie'.

This movie is so bad, it is almost impossible to find.

It makes 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 look like Citizen Kane'.

Please release this on DVD. In a universe where it's easier for me to buy 'Erin Brokovich' than 'The Garbage Pail Kids Movie' there is no god.
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10/10
Great movie - 80s perfect
mfstone-0606417 December 2020
This is the 80s in a nutshell - fantastic film. Animation is hilarious and GPK keep you laughing throughout the movie.
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7/10
It was OK
SpoiledCutie258722 January 2006
My mom had picked me and my sisters up a bunch of the cards at the flea market and when she gave them to me I did not know who the heck they were but she told me I loved them when I was little.

Just a few days ago I was flicking threw channels and came across The Garbage Pail Kids movie so decided to watch it and I think it is OK and my 18 month old son and 4 year old cousin loved it.

It is something that I would not mind seeing again but not something I would watch over over but I do think I'm going to go buy the movie for my son and my little cousin because they seemed to like it a lot.

Also I have something to say to Tyler from Canada. Your post was very ignorant and judgmental. Just because people like a movie that you hate does not mean they have no taste in movies and the tile of your post is nothing More then a child comment. Your whole post sounded like something a child would put.

Honestly if your going to be so ignorant to people do not post because it does not make you look good or nice.
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1/10
I could not even comprehend that this was a movie.
cdietz94-667-59924412 August 2010
I felt like I had been locked in a basement for seven years, tortured, raped, and mentally abused by the time this thing was done.

This deserves a zero! it honestly does! It deserves a zero.

This film is evil incarnate. EVIL.

I still wake up every night. Screaming. Screaming.

I am honestly very disturbed by this turd of a "movie".

Manos: the Hands of Fate is better than this movie! THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE IN THE HISTORY OF ALL HUMANITY!! I WANT TO BOMB OURSELVES THAT'S HOW BAD THIS IS.

0/10
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