Sam is to be interviewed for a sports segment on the evening news. What he doesn't realize is that he was only chosen because all the big-name players weren't available.
One of Diane's old college friends comes to the bar. She is vulnerable and looking for a man to give her an afternoon of unbridled passion, and Sam predictably jumps at the opportunity.
Carla tells Diane a shocking secret about her relationship with Sam. It's an outright lie, but Carla does it just to prove that Diane can't keep a secret and will never be her real friend.
Coach wants to ask out an attractive younger woman, but he doesn't have the guts. Sam sets his sights on her too, but he keeps getting shot down--badly.
Sam loans out his good luck charm to a slumping Red Sox pitcher. The pitcher immediately goes on a winning streak, but Sam begins experiencing a series of accidents.
Two unlikely customers enter the bar: One is an 80+ year old who is the only arrival for his WWI squad's reunion, and the other is an awkward virgin looking for a night of drinking and fun before he becomes a monk.
An Englishman enters the bar claiming to be a spy, but Diane exposes him as a fraud. Everyone is mad at her for humiliating him just to show off her own intellect, until he plays a joke on her.