6/10
When Hammer Ruled the Saturday afternoon movies
25 January 2006
Sure this film is filled with all sorts of historical (hysterical) inaccuracies but I bet millions of teens and preteens didn't go to the movie theaters to get a history lesson back in 1970. I know I sure didn't want to see a Discovery Channel documentary when I fed "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth" into my DVD player. I wanted to be taken back to an imaginary time that existed in the exciting corners of my brain when I was a kid --- you know, when cavemen fought against big old dinosaurs to stay alive and compete for food. Heck, is the world Hammer created any different than, let's say, the world Hollywood created for "King Kong"? I don't remember anyone complaining about dinosaurs and giant apes supposedly existing in 1930.

But I digress, this is the incredible love story between a caveman (Robin Hawdon) and a cave cutie (Victori Vetri) who have to fight off jealous cave competitors and giant stop-motion dinos to find their place in the sun. If you allow yourself to be transported into this imaginary world, you can really enjoy the story for all it's worth. You have beautiful leads, prehistoric romance, some sex (if you watch the uncut version), volcanoes, battles between cave tribes, dinosaur danger, and a completely made-up language for the dialog. What fun! It's not "Jurassic Park" but even that blockbuster saw fit to pay tribute by naming it's theme park display after this aged little film.

Seen 35 years or so later, the special effects are a little disappointing and I've never seen such good looking cave people before (outside of Raquel Welch, of course). But this is a enjoyable way to pass some time on a Saturday afternoon.
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