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kellicough00
Reviews
Snakewoman (2005)
Sneaky s-s-s-snakey sexy Franco film
This blew me out of my seat. It's almost x-rated as many Jess Franco films are. Lot's of skin and sex but it's all held together by a minimalist story that is somehow very interesting and makes it all worth it. Maybe it's a changing of the times with Jess Franco and his production company One Shot because long time star Lina Romay has been moved to a supporting, non-sexual, role and the stars are Carmen Montes as the Snakewoman and Fata Morgana as Carla, a roving reporter who winds up with the story of her life and an experience of a lifetime ~ she finds an old time actress who is not only still young and beautiful but also some kind of a vampire or succubus. What I really enjoyed was the comfortableness of the sexuality and the way the appealing actresses carried themselves. I don't care much for subtitles so I would have preferred an English language print. The DVD is only in Spanish with subtitles. But it's easy to follow and very easy to enjoy. The only thing that I couldn't understand is that there is no snake anywhere except on a tattoo.
Doctor Who (2005)
Still getting better after all these years
With the new series of Doctor Who (I'm referring to the 2005 BBC episodes), Doctor Who, the most famous time traveler in BBC history, has finally entered the 21st Century. Even though everyone's favorite Time Lord can go any place at any time in his tripped out phone box, the TARDIS, every previous embodiment of the Doctor on the BBC has been kept a safe distance from perfection by the cheapjack production, chintzy monsters and general soap opera look. Now, shot digitally on film and with exciting and fresh monsters and the best Doctor (Eccleston) since the heydays of Tom Baker and Jon Pertwee, we've finally got a Doctor Who that we closet fans can show to the masses. The wires and square headed robots are gone and even the Daleks have a great new shine and splendor to them. Billie Piper has been a pleasant surprise as the Doctor's latest companion, again about the best companion since the late 1980s. The whiz bang effect, the very scary stories (The Empty Child and Dalek stand out), and the compelling stories with plenty of emotion (Father's Day and Parting of the Ways will make you cry) make this Doctor Who the best prescription for the Sci-Fi Channel's ailing ratings numbers. Now I just hope it doesn't bomb because I love it and can't wait to see the 2006 episodes.
Breeders (1997)
Not exactly remaking Casablanca, but why bother?
Of all the movies in the history of movies I can't imagine someone sitting down and saying, I want to spend X amount of dollars (or pounds sterling) to remake that flawed classic film called "Breeders." Lots of stories have been turned into films about meteors coming to Earth with something sinister lurking inside. Why not put your money into making a spectacular 3D remake of "It Came from Outer Space" instead? Why look for a dingy nudie flick that existed only for the purpose of showing off a rubbery set of monsters and some naked coeds? Was the script for the 1986 version of "Breeders" so inspiring that these producers felt it had to be done again and this time done correctly? When you come down to it, the only reason this film exists is to show off Britcom cutie pie Samantha Janus. But if you're gonna make a skin flick and exploit Sam Janus in it, you'd better have her more naked than this and naked more often than this if you want to succeed.
Meteor lands ... monster escapes ... coeds duff their clothes ... monster eats people ... and another "what if?" ending ensues.
Honestly, I never thought I would ever recommend the original "Breeders" over any other film but this would be the one to come in 2nd Place to it.
Blazing Saddles (1974)
They don't make them like this anymore
After trying to sit through some movies with a friend of mine this past weekend, we finally decided to watch "Blazing Saddles" and we're glad we did. Previously I had only seen this movie on network or syndicated television with a lot of edits and missing scenes. I'm glad I finally decided to watch it on DVD.
The story isn't really important (about an old western town that finds itself in the path of a railroad development and in the way of some despicable politicos who try to destroy it) it just gives the brilliant Mel Brooks a long clothesline on which he can hang hundreds of old jokes, then-current jokes and timeless jokes. Mel Brooks is one of the best directors when it comes to tackling racism. He is so even handed that he can deliver a message when you don't even realize you are receiving one. It's the openness of overall acceptance that sits with you afterwards that is the final reward.
When I watched this I wondered what had happened to a lot of the actors and actresses who appeared in it. I think only Gene Wilder is really still very active in making movies these days (or as of 2005). The cast was a tremendous collection of great comic and dramatic actors and actresses who all turned in wonderful performances, combining to turn a complicated storyline into an apparently seamless comic farce. I particularly liked seeing David Huddleston as Olson Johnson. He's a long time favorite supporting actor and, he too, is still playing some small roles (see the new "The Producers").
My only complaints about "Blazing Saddles" are that some of the "current" references don't hold up too well after all this time and the ending gets a little complicated. I wish Mel Brooks could have kept the story in the same time line instead of resorting to "return to reality" ending he used.
And it goes without saying, "Blazing Saddles" has the all time greatest farting scene in movie history.
The Rockville Slayer (2004)
Just another run of the mill movie
You know, sometimes you just watch a movie because there is nothing else on television at that time. My friend and I had this DVD and fed it into the DVD player over the weekend because we didn't want to sit and watch all the football games. I think we were both snoozing off by the first 20 minutes or so. I got this movie because I wanted to see Joe Estevez. I met him at a convention 2 years ago and he is really nice. Since then I've watched a few of his movies and they can be decent time-passers. In the case of "Rockville Slayer" I didn't pass much time but I did catch up on some needed Z's.
Joe is pretty good in the movie, playing a sheriff in a tiny town. He brought some real gravitas to his role. I liked the way Nicole Buhrer acted. She kind of reminds me of a young Gillian Anderson kind of actress. But only one or two of the other actors was really believable and the story doesn't pack much oomph to it. When I sat down to watch the movie to completion; it took me 3 sittings to do it. I lost track of the story because the first part is about a murderer girl who escapes from a hospital (Amy Brown, reminds me of Beba in "Blood of the Virgins" running around in her nightgown) and then the rest is some kind of melodrama about one of the sheriff's deputies (this guy wasn't too good). And then in the last parts of it it looked like a dubbed movie because the lips didn't match the words a lot of time. Besides that, everything looks nice but nothing keeps me interested. Oh, the one villain guy (Robert Zdar) didn't look nice, wow, so scary looking. My friend didn't want to watch the rest of the movie when she woke up from her nap. I had to sit through it on my own over the last 2 days.
So all I can say is that someone put a lot of hard work into making this movie but I wish it was better and more interesting. Even after watching the whole thing I am not sure what kind of movie it was supposed to be.
When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (1970)
When Hammer Ruled the Saturday afternoon movies
Sure this film is filled with all sorts of historical (hysterical) inaccuracies but I bet millions of teens and preteens didn't go to the movie theaters to get a history lesson back in 1970. I know I sure didn't want to see a Discovery Channel documentary when I fed "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth" into my DVD player. I wanted to be taken back to an imaginary time that existed in the exciting corners of my brain when I was a kid --- you know, when cavemen fought against big old dinosaurs to stay alive and compete for food. Heck, is the world Hammer created any different than, let's say, the world Hollywood created for "King Kong"? I don't remember anyone complaining about dinosaurs and giant apes supposedly existing in 1930.
But I digress, this is the incredible love story between a caveman (Robin Hawdon) and a cave cutie (Victori Vetri) who have to fight off jealous cave competitors and giant stop-motion dinos to find their place in the sun. If you allow yourself to be transported into this imaginary world, you can really enjoy the story for all it's worth. You have beautiful leads, prehistoric romance, some sex (if you watch the uncut version), volcanoes, battles between cave tribes, dinosaur danger, and a completely made-up language for the dialog. What fun! It's not "Jurassic Park" but even that blockbuster saw fit to pay tribute by naming it's theme park display after this aged little film.
Seen 35 years or so later, the special effects are a little disappointing and I've never seen such good looking cave people before (outside of Raquel Welch, of course). But this is a enjoyable way to pass some time on a Saturday afternoon.
Chik yeung tin si (2002)
Exciting
The writers get no points for creating a cohesive or logical plot. It's all over the place. A guy creates a worldwide spying device and then he's killed in an attempt to steal it. Years later his two daughters use the device to become hired assassins and get away with all their crimes. One of the sisters falls from some Korean sex symbol and decides she wants to stop killing people for money. The other sister wants to keep going and so she tries to do a job on her own and she screws up. There's a rookie cop who pretty much figures it all out and she's hot on the sisters' trail. One of the guys who paid for a hit decides he wants to wipe out the sisters and the cop and then it's all kicking and shooting and wire fu for the last exciting 20 minutes or so. Like I said, the story is pretty poorly put together but you will enjoy almost every moment any of the sisters or the cop is on the screen. Karen Mok is brilliant as the tough, smart, sassy and sexy cop. Shu Qi and Vicki Zhao make for the cutest sisters you'll ever see on screen. Whenever any of these characters are fighting with good guys, bad guys, one another or each other, you will be amazed at the stylized kung fu artistry. Yes, there's a lot of wires and camera trickery but it never takes away from the enjoyment. And how many movies can turn "Close To You" into a action theme? Don't watch the English dubbed version if you can avoid it. Watch it either in Mandarin or Cantonese for full enjoyment.
Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965)
Shot out of the Canon
I'm learning a lot about classic British horror and science fiction television and movies through the wonders of DVD. I wish I was old enough to have experienced the movies and television that the Dr. Who people and Hammer films put out in the 1950s and 1960s. I had seen a lot of the Dr. Who television shows before I got my hands on the DVD for this movie. By now you all know the story of this movie so I won't go into the plot again and waste your time. What bothered me most was that they took the main character and changed him into something completely different. It makes for an interesting alternative to the televised series but, ultimately, why bother? Why change Doctor Who from a Time Lord into an eccentric elderly human who stumbles accidentally upon the Daleks? So much of the dynamic of the enemy combatants from the Time Wars is missing here. All of the actors do a fine job though. Peter Cushing is always good even if I didn't care much for his character. If you are a fan of the series you might want to see this for completist purposes but I don't think you will be too happy. If you've never seen the series you might enjoy this a lot because then you can sit back and take it all in as an original story and not make the negative comparisons in your mind.
Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972)
Drac lacks in latter day flick
Being too young to have experienced the Hammer films when they were fresh and new, I am discovering their hallowed horror films as I find them on DVD. I know it was almost a decade and half between them but it's hard to see much of the magic in the original Hammer Dracula in this late entry to the Christopher Lee series. The original Hammer vampire story had lots of atmosphere and a terrific story to get involved in. Lee was a great Dracula, a vibrant vampire if that possible, in the early outing but here he is nothing more than a cardboard character that mostly stands around and looks threatening. The modish young people talk like cartoon characters (even though my aunt lived in England during the 1970s and she says people actually talked with those awful clichés). I had no interest whatsoever in who lived or died amongst the younger crowd. They were all pretty terrible characters anyway. I did enjoy seeing a young and charismatic Caroline Munro; but she leaves the story too early. Lee and his historic nemesis Peter Cushing add an air of authenticity to the film but they can't draw blood from this empty film. It's D.O.A.