JayJeffersonCooke Reviews

Pal Joey (1957)

Bad acting, bad songs and a predictable plot.

[4/10 · 8 November 2006]

An aging Rita Hayworth appears in a role beneath her talents.

A beautiful Kim Novak (who has little acting skill) looks frighteningly out of place dancing and singing -- not to mention acting.

Barbara Nichols (who had great acting skill) was woefully underutilized.

Sinatra never was handsome enough to play such a character as Joey Evans. And yes, I am one of the people who is NOT charmed by his singing.

A disaster yesterday and hopelessly dated today, Pal Joey is what many people eat on the cob.

Some Came Running (1958)

I can't believe the high IMDb ratings for this film!

[3/10 · 17 August 2005]

Poor performances by Sinatra, Martin and Hyer. Grossly underdeveloped supporting characters. Annoying talky with no real plot. Ending leaves you flatter than a pancake, with more loose ends than you could tie up in four sequels (that is, if you even cared about these wooden characters). MacLaine is the only real asset. That penultimate sequence in which the "Chicago hood" searches for the Sinatra character is laughable. The music in that sequence also is poor. And in the final scene when Martin's character removes his hat for the woman he called a "pig," almost made me go outside and find a stone to throw through my television screen.

Swirl (2003)

Amateur hour

[5/10 · 6 February 2004]

This film is a bit of a mess. It attempts to be clever by having the black person in the interracial relationship having all the doubts because of society's pressures. Big deal. It's poorly written, poorly constructed and poorly photographed. And when I say amateur hour -- I mean just a little more than an hour. Note the short running time and the use of still photographs to take up screen time. It's a real shame that a film trying to tackle an important topic was mishandled so badly. It may have made a decent ABC Afterschool Special in the 1970s -- if you made the characters high-school kids.

Star Dates (2002– )

Reality run amok

[10 August 2003]

It's disappointing to see has-beens matched up with wannabees.

Almost every "star" hasn't been a star in 20 years or more. Almost every date has Hollywood aspirations and either has been on another "reality" show or is an actor, model, fitness competitor, etc.

When you get right down to it -- the premise is false. The stars are not "stars" and the dates are not "ordinary people."

Well, someone is getting paid from this exploitation.

Perhaps I am just too sensitive, but it almost made me cry to see the multi-talented Elizabeth Daily on this show.

When She Says No (1984 TV Movie)

Utter nonsense

[4/10 · 24 January 2002]

A film likely to show up on the Lifetime network again and again. A film that seems to want to empower women, but it simply exploits women. This piece of junk has a ridiculous story and a cop-out ending.

I remember many of my university classmates laughing and making fun of this movie when it made its debut. Don't bother to watch.

The Contract (I) (1999)

Billy Dee must be broke

[1/10 · 4 January 2002]

This is among the five worst films I have ever seen. Billy Dee must be flat busted. Oh how the mighty have fallen. This mess is boring, poorly acted, poorly scripted, pointless and a waste of good film stock. I can't even think of any clever insults for it. It's the pits.

Ten Benny (1995)

Just as bad as The Lords of Flatbush

[5/10 · 20 December 2001]

This film is another boring, so-called coming-of-age story.

If I have seen these characters once, I have see them 100 times.

This film and those like it have little relevance or appeal to anyone who recognizes ethnic stereotypes and unoriginal writing.

Sybil Temchen is the only bright spot. Sadly, she'll probably end up in the same club as Adrienne Shelly (good actress performs well in indies, goes on to perform well in a few bad mainstream films and then disappears into films no one who is asleep at 3 a.m. ever sees).

Maybe Temchen will get lucky with a good cable-TV series (that's what rescued Edie Falco from Shelly's fate).

Cross your fingers (and your toes) for her.

Get Carter (2000)

Poorly written, poorly constructed and hard to follow

[2/10 · 1 December 2001]

This film is awful. What keeps it from being a 1 (1-10 scale) is the lack of a zero choice for such movies as Robot Monster, Best Defense and Fair Game. The editing is terrible, the script is worse and the acting is the very worst ("You don't wanna know me." -- Another stupid attempt at starting a catch-phrase).

Gretchen Mol had the good sense not to have her name on this mess.

Quick Draw McGraw (1959–1962)

OLE! ... KABONG!

[10/10 · 26 October 2001]

Hey, Quikstraw ... done u thin u better find ol Snagglepuss before u go kabonggin all over dee place?

The best Hanna Barbera cartoon ever. Period. Paragraph. End of story.

Thank God for the Cartoon Network Super Chunks so I can tape hours upon hours of Quick Draw.

El Kabong got me through graduate school.

Where the Heart Is (2000)

Truly awful

[2/10 · 23 October 2001]

Yet another film that is more episodic than it has a right to be while leading the viewer to believe that every poor, undereducated person who makes bad decisions has a fabulous talent that will bring them to fame and fortune. It also leads viewers to believe that if you whistle in the dark long enough everything will come out right in the end. Beneath Natalie and Ashley, who by the way are each highly educated. (Naturally, in Hollywood, you need very beautiful, highly educated women to play the parts of stupid, low class, oh-woe-with-me women).

Limbo (I) (1999)

Wildly overpraised.

[6/10 · 4 October 2001]

This film is average at best. It is not as good as many other Sayles efforts, including Passion Fish, Eight Men Out and Lone Star.

For those who think it's so good, my question to you is: Have you read the short story The Lady or the Tiger? That's from where the ending of Limbo was stolen, oops sorry, I mean borrowed. :-)

Jennifer 8 (1992)

I remember red ... and I like this film.

[7/10 · 10 September 2001]

No, this film is not as good as it should have been -- but it isn't nearly as bad as some of the so-called thrillers that have excellent reputations.

Personally, I would rather watch this film, which includes good music and a solid cast, than watch such wildly overpraised films as Se7en or Resurrection (1999).

The Carpetbaggers (1964)

The main reason to see this film is Martha Hyer.

[3 September 2001]

I often have wondered why Martha Hyer didn't become a bigger star.

While she may not have possessed outstanding acting talent, she certainly was beautiful, charming and solid.

Carroll Baker was a pretty big star for about a minute and a half, and her best performance was the WORST performance of The Big Country.

Life is strange.