Wish Dragon (2021)

Ronny Chieng: Pipa God

Quotes 

• Long : Din!

  [looks around in confusion] 

  Long : Whats happening?

  Pipa God : Welcome Longzhu.

  Long : What's going on? Where am I?

  Pipa God : Congratulations! Your service as a Wish Dragon is complete.

  Long : Complete? But I haven't finished, I haven't finished my tenth master!

  Pipa God : You have put the needs of another before yourself, and shown us that you understand the meaning of life. You are now free to enter the spirit world

  [Spirite world doors open and trumpets sound and confetti sticks to Long] 

  Long : Is that... a parade?

  [Smiles] 

  Pipa God : In your honor.

  Long : No no no! I can't! I have to go back!

  Pipa God : Back?

  Long : Turn me back into a Wish Dragon, I have one more wish to grant!

  Pipa God : Th-that's ridiculous, the laws of heaven forbid it.

  Long : You're ridiculous! You're an old man in a skirt!

  Pipa God : This isn't a skirt!

  Long : Send me back!

  Pipa God : [Pipa God plays his instrument and the doors to the spirit world close and the parade disappears behind them]  You dare reject the will of the Gods?

  Long : Fine, if you won't send me back, I'll do it myself!

  [Starts digging into the clouds] 

  Pipa God : Stop that!

  Long : [Continues to dig into the clouds]  Stupid clouds! Ah!

  Pipa God : Stop! Stop that this instant!

  Long : Ah! My friend needs me!

  Pipa God : Fine! We will permit you to return, but only under one condition.