This film is genuinely funny. There's a beauty in not taking some things so seriously. Conjoined definitely offers a solid ninety minutes of laughs, and even a few concerned looks. I think this would be a great title for Netflix. I imagine a group of friends with a twelve pack of beer would find this movie a very great source of entertainment for their late night get together. I'll add this. I personally think the film goes perfectly smooth, like a great wine, with a very serious movie like There Will Be Blood, or even 2001: A Space Odyssey. No, seriously watch THAT triple feature and put Conjoined right smack in the middle. Or, just get a twelve pack, and you'll be fine.
18 Reviews
A C-tier Horror film that You don't know whether To Love or Hate
r_sionis7 June 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I was able to see this film at a showing at a local community college, and in all honesty, I should hate this film. The cinematography was poor, the script haphazard and weak in many areas, and the acting in some places average at best, decent in others. But for whatever reason, I want to see a prequel-sequel to this film. Terribly.
Technically speaking, the film is a mess and rather lazy. Clearly the filmmakers are not trying to win you over with camera tricks, cinematography, interesting locations, or strong dialogue. Instead, the focus, it appears, is on this cadre of peculiar, off-center characters who inhabit this world, that MUST be full of nothing but idiots. It is in the strength of these characters and the actors who play them that this film is able to succeed.
The story, while a great setup, falls on its face in terms of execution. Despite some comedic set pieces of blood and gore, there was a lot of opportunity for greater exploration. But maybe that's not what the goal of this film was. It's truly hard to tell at times. The story's set up is certainly interesting enough to make you want to check out the film, but what you find yourself in after watching it is something else. It's a love story. A weird, convoluted, disturbing love story.
Surely, budgetary restrictions prohibited the filmmakers from getting crazy with the possibilities, but should they attempt to make another installment - I'm sure it will yield a much stronger production.
For whatever reason, I want to see another film. And by all accounts, I shouldn't. But I am incredibly curious about what these characters were doing before the events of Conjoined, and what happened to them after said events. There's truly some juicy material in that should they ever wish to revisit this zany world of characters.
In summary, I hated Conjoined, but I would kill to see another one. And that's an honor that once only belonged to 2008's Jumper. So, Conjoined is in very interesting company.
RATING: 5/10
Technically speaking, the film is a mess and rather lazy. Clearly the filmmakers are not trying to win you over with camera tricks, cinematography, interesting locations, or strong dialogue. Instead, the focus, it appears, is on this cadre of peculiar, off-center characters who inhabit this world, that MUST be full of nothing but idiots. It is in the strength of these characters and the actors who play them that this film is able to succeed.
The story, while a great setup, falls on its face in terms of execution. Despite some comedic set pieces of blood and gore, there was a lot of opportunity for greater exploration. But maybe that's not what the goal of this film was. It's truly hard to tell at times. The story's set up is certainly interesting enough to make you want to check out the film, but what you find yourself in after watching it is something else. It's a love story. A weird, convoluted, disturbing love story.
Surely, budgetary restrictions prohibited the filmmakers from getting crazy with the possibilities, but should they attempt to make another installment - I'm sure it will yield a much stronger production.
For whatever reason, I want to see another film. And by all accounts, I shouldn't. But I am incredibly curious about what these characters were doing before the events of Conjoined, and what happened to them after said events. There's truly some juicy material in that should they ever wish to revisit this zany world of characters.
In summary, I hated Conjoined, but I would kill to see another one. And that's an honor that once only belonged to 2008's Jumper. So, Conjoined is in very interesting company.
RATING: 5/10
The potential was there, but it was a mediocre movie...
paul_haakonsen16 July 2019
Right, well "Conjoined" from director Joe Grisaffi and writers Chuck Norfolk and Tim Norfolk is listed as a 'horror' movie here on IMDb, so that is what I thought I would be in for. But instead it turned out to be more of a horror comedy, with less emphasis on the horror part.
This is a low budget movie, for sure. But they actually managed to pull off the production quite well, and they managed to give the movie character and style. However, it is a shame that the storyline was limited and the acting performances were not all that impressive - as those made the movie suffer.
There were parts to the storyline that were interesting, and some parts were nicely brought to the screen. But all throughout the course of "Conjoined" is a permeating sense of low budget, for better or worse. However, the movie wasn't the least bit scary, and the comedy elements that were looming over the movie weren't funny enough to draw smiles, much less laughs.
For a low budget movie, I will say that they production and editing of "Conjoined" was quite good, and it was those factors that made the movie watchable. Hence my mediocre rating of five stars of out ten.
I think the nudity that they opted to put in the movie was fully and wholly unnecessary, and it just gave the movie a very unwanted sleazy aspect to it. It would have been a more wholesome experience if they had opted to leave the senseless nudity out of the movie entirely, as it served absolutely no purpose.
While I managed to sit through "Conjoined", I know that this movie will never find its way back to the screen in my home. The movie just doesn't have enough contents to support more than a single viewing.
This is a low budget movie, for sure. But they actually managed to pull off the production quite well, and they managed to give the movie character and style. However, it is a shame that the storyline was limited and the acting performances were not all that impressive - as those made the movie suffer.
There were parts to the storyline that were interesting, and some parts were nicely brought to the screen. But all throughout the course of "Conjoined" is a permeating sense of low budget, for better or worse. However, the movie wasn't the least bit scary, and the comedy elements that were looming over the movie weren't funny enough to draw smiles, much less laughs.
For a low budget movie, I will say that they production and editing of "Conjoined" was quite good, and it was those factors that made the movie watchable. Hence my mediocre rating of five stars of out ten.
I think the nudity that they opted to put in the movie was fully and wholly unnecessary, and it just gave the movie a very unwanted sleazy aspect to it. It would have been a more wholesome experience if they had opted to leave the senseless nudity out of the movie entirely, as it served absolutely no purpose.
While I managed to sit through "Conjoined", I know that this movie will never find its way back to the screen in my home. The movie just doesn't have enough contents to support more than a single viewing.
Conjoined was a great watch
auntrobert3 September 2013
I thoroughly enjoyed this movie on multiple levels. The storyline was unique in its originality as it combined both a dark comedic flow as well as plenty of gore. The screenplay was well written and the characters were perfectly cast for their roles. The two sisters played off each other well throughout the film. From minor roles to the main characters, this film really hit on all bases. It always kept you wondering what would happen next and the buildup to the final scene was a big surprise. Equally done were the technical aspects from the interesting camera angles to the well lit scenes and clear audio throughout. I would strongly recommend this film to anyone into horror/comedy as well to those that want to experience something completely different. I have to say this was entertaining to the very end. A job well done by the entire cast and crew.
Bad taste comedy horror
Leofwine_draca17 April 2017
Warning: Spoilers
CONJOINED is a sick little comedy horror about a guy who begins an online relationship with a beautiful woman, only to discover that she's a conjoined twin. Even worse, her sister is a serial killer. There's no more plot to it than that, and no real laughs ever, as this ultra-cheap effort is consistently unfunny. It's clear that the writer of this trash has been inspired by the films of the Farrelly brothers and his film is just as boringly offensive as their output. The director has a single room which is constantly redressed to look like different locations, and the bright, high definition quality of the film-making shows up just how cheap it really is. Add in silly sub-plots, lame overacting and a deliberately cheesy tone and you have one off-putting movie.
Any review praising this came from those who made it....
OnlyAtJMart16 November 2017
Or knew the crew. Horrible acting, profoundly stupid, even the casting of TWINS was moronic. The kill scenes looked like something directed by a 6 year old. I watched this because it got decent ratings, which I usually can tell are fake, but I put it on, and from the first few seconds I was rolling my eyes so hard I think I pulled something. Anyone who worked on this should know how bad it is and shouldn't deceive people by claiming it's anything but trash. This is the equivalent of someone working on a months long school project the night before. If I made this, I would want it buried. This is the worst movie I've been tricked in to watching for as long as I can remember. This deserves a 1, 2, or 3 TOPS, out of 10. Anyone involved in this should be banned from any type of entertainment until they take some filmmaking classes, and sincerely apologize for this abomination. Don't watch. It's not even so bad, that it has some entertainment value. I would recommend this to no one. All copies should end up in the same landfill that all the Atari ET games ended up. I honestly rather watch a hour and a half YouTube clip of someone playing that than this POS.
Don't...
bigskyibizans19 September 2019
A WTH is this kind of movie!
koolestkats15 April 2019
If you like movies that are "what the heck did I just watch" this one is for you. It is clearly, dramatized, cheesy and just plain shocking. It remains consistent from start to finish! So you know what to expect from the beginning. Enjoy, maybe.....
Whoa.
jsantarose25 September 2014
"Conjoined" is a twisted tale of a man's pursuit of love that will evoke a mixture of emotions you never thought you'd feel simultaneously. You'll laugh, you'll cry.. or you know, scream in horror! Most probably you'll end up finding yourself doing all three at the same time!
This film has succeeded in making me feel awkward. LOL. There are moments in there that make me feel like , "Uhhh....what?" I can't even find a word to describe the feeling! LOL. You know how they say art imitates life? WELL, this movie really makes me wonder about the filmmaker's love life. HAHA! At the end of the movie, a thought ran across my mind: "What is wrong with them?!" Hahaha! I'm just teasing with that; however, in all seriousness I liked this movie because it's gruesome, it's dark, and it made me laugh. All in all.. It was a bloody good time. ;) Pun most definitely intended!
With that being said and without giving too much away, I suggest you grab your popcorn and get as comfy as you can! This film is quite the experience! You don't want to miss it!
This film has succeeded in making me feel awkward. LOL. There are moments in there that make me feel like , "Uhhh....what?" I can't even find a word to describe the feeling! LOL. You know how they say art imitates life? WELL, this movie really makes me wonder about the filmmaker's love life. HAHA! At the end of the movie, a thought ran across my mind: "What is wrong with them?!" Hahaha! I'm just teasing with that; however, in all seriousness I liked this movie because it's gruesome, it's dark, and it made me laugh. All in all.. It was a bloody good time. ;) Pun most definitely intended!
With that being said and without giving too much away, I suggest you grab your popcorn and get as comfy as you can! This film is quite the experience! You don't want to miss it!
Did they just do that?
jwleal779 December 2013
Wow. This movie is one of those B movies that you watch with your friends over a few beers. To answer the question "did they just do that?" YES. You will see quite a few WTF moments that will be talked about over the water cooler the next week or two. Because it's not a studio movie, they can basically do whatever they want... and they do. It's got some genuine funny moments, genuinely hot cast members and some other members get cast aside, ouch.
It's great fun for an evening with friends and alcoholic beverages. In many respects, its more entertaining than a big budget horror film because it doesn't take itself too seriously. Have fun!!!
It's great fun for an evening with friends and alcoholic beverages. In many respects, its more entertaining than a big budget horror film because it doesn't take itself too seriously. Have fun!!!
Conjoined was a good low budget horror movie
gardner_michael200325 May 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Conjoined is a movie about love, and how it can hurt. Both literally and figuratively this movie looks at love and how it can make people do strange things.
The movie is about Conjoined twins, one who falls in love with a man, the other who is a bit of a stranger to love. Once the lovers meet and move in together is when the action really begins. After finding out his new bride to be had a sister, Jerry tries to hook his wife's sister Alisa up with a few dates. It turns out that Alisa has a love for blood.
was a great low budget movie that I found to also have an air of comedy to it. It was hard to take this movie serious at times, while other times you couldn't help but get disgusted. I found my self at times laughing uncontrollably at things either said or done, while other times I was in awe of the amount of blood that was being spilled.
Al in all, this movie is good for what it is, simply a great low budget film, made by filmmakers with a love for their art. Love it, or hate it, you will be talking about Conjoined after you see it.
The movie is about Conjoined twins, one who falls in love with a man, the other who is a bit of a stranger to love. Once the lovers meet and move in together is when the action really begins. After finding out his new bride to be had a sister, Jerry tries to hook his wife's sister Alisa up with a few dates. It turns out that Alisa has a love for blood.
was a great low budget movie that I found to also have an air of comedy to it. It was hard to take this movie serious at times, while other times you couldn't help but get disgusted. I found my self at times laughing uncontrollably at things either said or done, while other times I was in awe of the amount of blood that was being spilled.
Al in all, this movie is good for what it is, simply a great low budget film, made by filmmakers with a love for their art. Love it, or hate it, you will be talking about Conjoined after you see it.
A must see
todd-45515 May 2014
Anybody out there who loves horror, a little dark comedy and lots of blood must go out and watch Conjoined.
It is a dark comedic romp that will have you saying "what just happened?" and keep you wanting more.The great thing about this is, more you definitely get.
The story is well-crafted and well acted. The director does an excellent job executing the story and keeping it moving at the perfect pace.
Go out and grab your copy of the next great cult classic. You won't be sorry that you did.
It is a dark comedic romp that will have you saying "what just happened?" and keep you wanting more.The great thing about this is, more you definitely get.
The story is well-crafted and well acted. The director does an excellent job executing the story and keeping it moving at the perfect pace.
Go out and grab your copy of the next great cult classic. You won't be sorry that you did.
Light hearted horror for non-horror fans
heatherjanechambers15 March 2016
First of all, I need to point out that horror movies are not my thing. I avoid them at all costs, but Conjoined doesn't take itself too seriously and that's the magic of this film. I actually enjoyed it, didn't find it too gross and found that for the most part it is laugh out loud funny! Horror fans will love it too - it really does have something for everyone. Conjoined has all the usual components of a good Joe Grisaffi film, like solid actors and a sound plot, and throws in unexpected elements that work really well for no discernible reason. Like, the Ricky Gervais style awkward pauses. They are uncomfortably realistic and bring an ounce or normality to a fantastical plot which adds necessary balance. Sara Gaston nails her role as the stern Detective.
Sisters who lay together,may slay together !
guestar5710 June 2014
Conjoined-Directed by:Joe Grisaffi Write by: The Norfolks Stars: Keefer Barlow So,The title didn't draw my attention,Keefer Barlow-who reminded a lot of my second ex-wife,A lot ! Did hold my attention,screamed for my attention, Cut out my attention to the details of her goings -on.
Our hero,Tom Long, Deserved to have something extra in a relationship and he gets it, Oh ! Boy !! Does he get them.
The good half of any relationship she had, Michelle Ellen Jones, Was so sweet and kept up her half of festivities.
Joe Grisaffi as a director has this goal,Focus if you will that is both funny and yet grisly.
Our hero,Tom Long, Deserved to have something extra in a relationship and he gets it, Oh ! Boy !! Does he get them.
The good half of any relationship she had, Michelle Ellen Jones, Was so sweet and kept up her half of festivities.
Joe Grisaffi as a director has this goal,Focus if you will that is both funny and yet grisly.
Conjoined is a fun romp through dark comedy horror!
genesismindworks20 August 2013
I really like the humor in this movie. The b movie sort of feel to it really pulls it off because this movie is aware of what it is and is trying to entertain. I didn't feel at any time it took itself too seriously or became too silly which is often a line that movies of this tend to leap over I would really recommend this to someone for like a Saturday night special or Friday night flick because it is genuinely enjoyable. The lines felt funny and never cheesy. i liked how just numb the main character seemed to get to the whole thing. I laughed a lot during this movie, especially during once scene in a car. This was the scene i rewound and watched a bunch. This movie is full of moments like that where you just want to rewind and watch that happen again.
Again this is a VERY enjoyable film and I loved the blood effects.
Again this is a VERY enjoyable film and I loved the blood effects.
Conjoined, the review
frank-medrano122115 October 2013
Welp, just got finished watching Conjoined. Now it's time for my official unofficial review.
Conjoined has what I like to call the trifecta of horror. Violence, boobs, and gore. Those three things always make for an entertaining horror movie.
One thing I was highly impressed with was the acting. Over the course of being a connoisseur of all things horror, I have seen many indie horror movies. One thing a good portion of them have in common is shitty acting. Conjoined, however does not. The acting was absolutely solid. All of the actors gave great performances without anything coming out wooden or stiff.
I also liked all the blood and gore, which definitely gets ramped up towards the end. Some of the scenes have the actors absolutely drenched in fake blood (hell, it might be real blood for all I know). For the budget they made the movie on, they did a great job with all the blood and gore.
The audio was another high point. Oftentimes the audio is really low and hard to hear in lower budget movies, but with Conjoined you can hear everything perfectly without turning the volume up all the way to max. I thought that was really awesome.
Another great thing about this film is having two smoking hot babes in the title roles. That never hurts.
All in all, the cast and crew did an amazing job!
I give this bitch 8 hot conjoined twins out of 10. (Which I guess technically that would make it a 16 out of 20)
Conjoined has what I like to call the trifecta of horror. Violence, boobs, and gore. Those three things always make for an entertaining horror movie.
One thing I was highly impressed with was the acting. Over the course of being a connoisseur of all things horror, I have seen many indie horror movies. One thing a good portion of them have in common is shitty acting. Conjoined, however does not. The acting was absolutely solid. All of the actors gave great performances without anything coming out wooden or stiff.
I also liked all the blood and gore, which definitely gets ramped up towards the end. Some of the scenes have the actors absolutely drenched in fake blood (hell, it might be real blood for all I know). For the budget they made the movie on, they did a great job with all the blood and gore.
The audio was another high point. Oftentimes the audio is really low and hard to hear in lower budget movies, but with Conjoined you can hear everything perfectly without turning the volume up all the way to max. I thought that was really awesome.
Another great thing about this film is having two smoking hot babes in the title roles. That never hurts.
All in all, the cast and crew did an amazing job!
I give this bitch 8 hot conjoined twins out of 10. (Which I guess technically that would make it a 16 out of 20)
Very humorous!
idecimateu7 June 2014
What can I say, very humorous. .. well acted, camera work was well did. I thought the script was written well and the movie didn't drag out. Kept me fairly entertained throughout the movie. I own it! ... and I won't let go of it., so get your own! If this movie is a preview of things to come in Joe's line of work, I think he will do considerably well. I can't wait to snatch up the rest of his movies and any upcoming movies for that matter. Keefer Barlow had an outstanding performance. The rest of the cast did a fine job as well. If you like blood, sprinkled with comedy and layered between lots of flesh. ... this is definitely the movie you will need to add to your collection.
A tricky assessment
Phil_Chester12 August 2018
It's quite difficult to know how to take this film. It's clearly made on a shoestring and is obviously intended to be a bit "tongue-in-cheek", but none of the humour lands, some of the acting is not at all credible, the script sucks and the poor production value really hurts the feel of the piece. I suspect it could work as a mates' Friday night film, as long as there's plenty of beer flowing. If the intoxicating substances are in short supply, deduct one star.
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