The Cloth (2013) User Reviews

Nope

[vetsera · 1/10 · 30 May 2013]

I have been an active member on IMDb for more than 6 years now and have never had given a movie a 1 rating. Until now. This movie does not have one feature I could praise. The acting is worse than mediocre (though to be honest I must say I watched it dubbed which could worsen the already bad situation), the story is uninteresting or I dare to say nonsense. There is not a single scene or performance I was able to enjoy. As for the music, it was so unimpressive I can't even remember any part of it that I liked. The conversations are dull and boring. I couldn't have cared less about what is going to happen to these characters: it didn't matter if they get killed or possessed or live happily ever after; the only thing I was concerned about was when this pitiful excuse for a movie is going to end.

At the end of my reviews, I like to give a recommendation as to whom I recommend and whom I don't recommend the movie in question. Well this one, I don't recommend to anyone. Not even my worst enemy...

Terrible!!!!!!

[marcgibbons · 1/10 · 2 July 2013]

It is quit clear the 10's in the ratings are fake. This film is just terrible!! The camera work, sound, the acting.....just terrible. Kyle's acting was just a joke. The only positive for this movie is the picture on the front cover.

I wish no one else to waste their time watching this film. I have seen much much better at a local college or University. If it was not for Netflix these films would never see the light of day and nor should they.

I really tried to find more positives, but there are none. Maybe I could try and get wasted and then watch it again, but I feel I would be "wasting" my time.

Worst Movie Ever!

[srgrrrrl · 1/10 · 3 November 2013]

First, they used cheap film stock always slightly out of focus, no one has the top of their head in most of the shots. My grandmother used to take photos like that, no foreheads!!!! The special effects were really quite funny, not intentionally of course. No wonder it went direct to video. Eric Roberts must be on muscle relaxers as his performance is dull and lethargic, and Danny Trejo is basically a cameo. The other actors in the film are uninspiring and really need acting lessons. The film is dark and brooding, but then, so is my cat. About halfway through the film, I noticed that staring at my cat was way more scary. Maybe she is possessed!!!! Maybe I am, while writing this review! I know this film is possessed --- of no good qualities!

Peace out, Jen

Truly terrible

[dmstokes73 · 1/10 · 5 July 2013]

I'm not sure where to begin, this is B Grade with extra B. The acting is probably the worst part but the cinematography and writing must take some of the fault. This is a lot like a high school drama production where the IT guys got roped in to provide some special effects. It's similar in theme to movies such as Constantine but as interpreted by someone who only had a couple of thousand dollars to make it and blew most of that on Danny Trejo rather than production values. Even if you like B grade schlock (which I don't) this one may be too painful to live through. I went through to the end in the vain hope there was some redemption for this but there was not. An over-long cheesy knock off of The Exorcist to open and a sputtering finish that looks like they ran out of money. Nothing worth waking up for.

Worst movie ever!

[jwitzel28 · 1/10 · 30 July 2013]

This had to been the worst movie ever. The acting is just horrible. The characters show absolutely no inflection/emotion in their voices. The special effects(well, if you call it that) were just pathetic. My cousin's 11 year old son who makes movies has better quality sound effect programs on his computer than this movie! The story line wasn't even that good. The movie was not meant to be funny, but for some reason, I laughed the entire time, especially at the producer's attempt to make believable demon voices. And I think the most ridiculous thing about the movie was the Jesus uniform that the main character wore. I don't think the cross emblem(or anything that signifies Jesus) belongs on people who run around with weapons blowing heads off of demons. That's an hour and half that you'll never get back, so don't waste your time.

Wooden acting & don't waste your time!

[elitespares · 1/10 · 22 April 2013]

The previous reviewer said that he loved this or "just am crazy"... He was right bout his self appraisal........ I only bothered to write this review as like those God bothers that come knocking on our doors.....I'm trying to save you! This is crap on every level.... Cameo virtually from Danny Treo.... Talk about wooden.....The guy playing the main priest shouldn't be allowed in a Ronald McDonald suit to act let alone be given lines to mono tone out! It never got better........Weak story....poor effects...... It was like I really believed the 10 star review from the previous reviewer and really was waiting for it to change but he plain out lied! Even crap would rate this as Crap! Are you getting the picture? Don't torture yourself with this complete wast of electricity..... Talk about a wast of all their resources & MY TIME! The previous reviewer was either bribed, part of the crew or just plain retarded to believe this was even worth writing about. Ten stars.........You got to be **** kidding! We best never listen to him/her AGAIN!

I actually feel sorry for the guy

[artgalaxy · 1/10 · 8 July 2013]

I read with sadness the piece by the director. I have to say this is probably the worst movie I have veer seen other than something by Ed wood, that was so bad it was campy. This does not fall into that category. I actually don't get it.. it is so bad acting, writing, effects etc. that it seems almost intentional. If it is not, then my comment as sad, is what I feel for the writer directer, somebody should take this poor guy aside and tell him, go do something else, movies aren't your thing. How he got Danny to be in this movie amazes me.. he is gaining respect as an actor... I don't know..I also can't believe somebody actually put up money real money to make this.. who are theses people.. I have a bridge to sell in Brooklyn.. god..

Where to begin...

[masepulveda1 · 1/10 · 1 June 2013]

I wish I could give this movie a zero. It does not even deserve a one.

The entire movie is a rip off of other possession/exorcism movies. It's evident that whoever wrote and directed this movie did not have one creative bone in their body. It's almost as if the people behind this sat down, watched any exorcism based movie they could find. And just took bits and pieces. It's a Frankenstein of a movie and I really wish this monster hadn't come to life.

The acting is completely awful, I hope the actors (other than Trejo or Roberts) have a day job because acting shouldn't be it. Even the most die hard of Trejo fans would have trouble watching this movie. If you like B movies this isn't for you. This is more a D- movie.

Whoever wrote the dialogue was trying way to hard to be witty. The dialogue felt forced and unnatural. Watching it I wasn't sure if it was meant to be funny or taken seriously. I still really don't, but I hope it isn't the latter.

What is probably the most unbearable part of the movie is knowing that someone invested 4 million on this cliché infested movie. I've eaten alphabet soup that was more original than this film. Where was that money? The graphics were decent, but no where near worth 4 mill. It had to go somewhere, and something tells me it wasn't the movie.

I know this may seem harsh, but I try my best to support indie filmmakers and indie actors. They are some of the best in the business. Indie filmmakers are one of the things keeping the horror industry alive, an industry focusing on what will sell and not what will withstand the test of time. This movie was not a part of that. So to know that this money could of gone to people with actual talent or at least a half baked original idea is a crime.

The only way I would recommend this movie is if you're out of ipecac and need to vomit.

Absolute garbage!!

[Teamlautner · 1/10 · 2 August 2013]

OK so I hated this movie so much that I went through the effort to make an account on here!!! That's saying something but about the movie the scenes are poorly filmed crap that a high school student could film where you just look at it and go wow really! it is all so fake looking and weird!! I am a graphic artist and part of my job is writing fake reviews for companies and let me tell you this I guarantee half or all of those good reviews are fake I have written plenty myself so don't believe them for one second. This movie is a waste of your time and should be buried and I usually am not to picky with movies but come on! This i the worst movie I have ever seen!!! Movies like this shouldn't be released!! Acting horrible plot is horrible and dang its just a knock off of the exorcist! The opening scene is somewhat OK but still not that good and than it goes and the special effects just make you go.... What year do you think this is its not fooling anyone! Please I can't be helped but don't watch this horrid movie!!!

An Unfortunate Mess

[hulakan · 1/10 · 21 April 2013]

I watched this because Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts are in it. It's not like these two are master thespians or anything, but I find them likable enough, even in B movies. ("B" as in "low Budget" or just plain "Bad".) Trejo and Roberts have small parts, with screen time probably totaling less than 10 minutes between them. Eric Roberts seems to be sleepwalking, stoned, or both. The rest of the cast are unrelentingly horrible, either chewing the scenery or mumbling like blocks of wood blessed with the gift of speech.

The dialog is stilted, juvenile, and lacks both wit and sense. The plot, involving a secret society of exorcists battling demons, is inane and vacuous. This idea has been done before a few times: Constantine 2005, Hellboy 2004, The Ninth Gate 1999, for example. All of these, although there is not a masterpiece among them, are infinitely better than this poor offering.

The special effects are incredibly bad, something that is pretty hard to achieve with today's cheap computer graphic technology. It is often impossible to tell what is supposed to be going on with all the random flashes of colored light and moving shots of geological formations. The camera work is amazingly unskillful. In one of Eric Roberts' few scenes, he's talking to a priest whose head is out of frame at eye level.

I wish there were something positive I could say about The Cloth. Oh... there is something; it put my wife, who has been suffering from insomnia recently, to sleep.

Turkey anyone ?????? " It stinks"

[nexus62010 · 9/10 · 23 April 2013]

Be warned, the start of this film is good and thats a sign bad things to come. The acting is sooooooooooooooooo terrible, the direction rubbish, the story just mental and the overall product so bad, its great. Its one of those films you watch while shaking your head saying " did they just say that, do that "? The Cloth is the type of film you put on when home with drunken mates and sit and laugh at, from start to finish.

Its clear that whole scenes have gone missing by the editing, which is terrible. The film was partly funded by a born again Christian church ( check the credits) and it's clearly an exercise in trying to brainwash the dumb public into becoming Christians. Which it fails at on every level.

The young lead I think may be a plank, thats been dressed in clothing and the only openly evil character is a young black male with lesbian friends who all do drugs....we getting the feel yet ?

The best line in the film, which for me sums it up, is spoken by what i can only explain as the "Q"of the exorcism world. After deciding he wants nothing to do with "The Cloth", the young lead storms out, throwing his outfit and cross onto the table. "Q" says shocked, "Who throws Jesus onto a table like that " ???

Classic Turkey.

Yes

[artem-ponomarev · 7/10 · 7 May 2013]

Very interesting. The start of the film got me hooked and the back story was emotional. The characters are very attractive, but still "normal" looking.

For being an independent film done by a new company, I have to give it major props. With all the films that are out today, time and quality is a big issue especially when a big studio name is not behind it. It being in 3D was also a plus, because there aren't many good movies this genre that are in 3D.

Can't wait to see the real deal in theaters for the full effect with some popcorn and a soda.

Don't Be Fooled By the Familiar Faces- It sucked.

[the_silver_angel_13 · 4/10 · 7 August 2013]

With Danny Trejo on the scene, I knew this movie would either be epic... or a total cheap fail. Sadly, within the first (literally) three minutes of the beginning to this movie, I noticed how horribly done the CG special effects were (describing the "breath" and "live-action injuries"), and continued on throughout the entire film. Had they've just exhaled smoke vapors and makeup-ed a few bruises and cuts instead, I wouldn't be writing this review lol. With that being said- it is a good thing the beginning "possessed" girl simply body-contorted.

Moving onto the bad acting- yes, even with all the other familiar faces casted; acting all around seemed forced. Maybe poor directing can be to blame? The Cloth, based on CG effects alone, could be compared as though The SyFy Channel had produced another "original movie" in the horror genre. The unspeakably horrendous acting however, shares no comparison. (I have seen better in forensic file reenactments.) Seriously, line-by-line was awkward, to say the least.

As far as ideas (emphasizing the use of science fiction-esc weaponry), attempts at humor in the characters (but poorly produced), and actually showing the demons (in obvious latex masks) rather than making them a shadow or mist, makes the film less excruciating to watch. I say judge for yourself- watchable if you can get past

This sucked

[jimelas-835-982916 · 3/10 · 7 November 2013]

I gave it a 3 for the make-up and effects but the rest of this movie was just boring. I have watched many films like this and this is the first time I just wanted it to hurry up and be over. It seems like they edited this movie down because of budget concerns this movie literally jumped from scene to scene giving you a feeling of being disoriented. Which means you can get the gist of the movie but its like in the middle of making this they through their hands up and where just like, let's just wrap it up forget making it a decent movie. The editing was terrible the lead male character was terrible, don't watch this movie watch something else because that is 86 minutes you can't get back.

"The Cloth" falls well below the threshold of bad and plunges into the abyss of laughably unwatchable

[ersinkdotcom · 2/10 · 27 August 2013]

I love a good religious horror or demon possession film. My background as a Christian gives me a certain appreciation for what many critics call hokey sensationalist cinema and B-movie trash. I've seen the good ones ("The Exorcist," "Devil") and I've seen the bad ones ("The Exorcist Tapes," "The Last Exorcism Part II"). Unfortunately, Uncork'd Entertainment's "The Cloth" falls well below the threshold of bad and plunges into the abyss of laughably unwatchable.

Cases of demonic possessions are on the rise across the country. A faithless young man (Kyler Willett) is recruited by the Catholic Church into a secret organization of demon hunters. He teams up with a priest (Lassiter Holmes) as they track down the forces of evil and strive to put an end to Satan's stronghold on humankind. I can only describe "The Cloth" as a horribly made Christian film clumsily fashioned together by mainstream independent movie producers devoid of any real religious slant who own an HD camera and iMovie program. Imagine graduates of Roman Polanski or William Friedkin's school of filmmaking being to blame for those "Tribulation" disasters and you get where I'm going with this. Its sexual content makes it pretty clear a Christian audience was not in mind while making the film.

Imagine an Asylum film completely devoid of the self-aware humor and wit we've come to expect from films like "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" or the more recent "Sharknado." "The Cloth" takes itself seriously all the way to the closing credits. This makes scenes of a priest shooting possessed people with a demon-killing gun as they explode into digitally animated pieces even harder to sit through. As hard as it is to believe, the CGI is worse than anything you've seen in any Asylum movie or SyFy Channel original movie.

The one character in the film that I found humorous and likable was the guy who provided the holy weapons to the two lead characters. If the movie was focused on him, it would've been a lot more enjoyable. His British accent and punk rock look and sensibilities added a level of fun to his scenes that the rest of the movie is sorely lacking. The guy wears t-shirts with slogans like "Exorcise Regularly." Need I go into any more explanation?

I will say that the scenes of demonic possession which aren't cluttered with bad CGI look good. Whoever did the makeup and practical effects deserve some applause for the most part. The exorcism scene at the beginning showed promise that the rest of the film couldn't deliver.

Danny Trejo is featured on the cover of "The Cloth" DVD as if he appears in the entire film. Be aware this is not the case. He is in what amounts to about 5 minutes of the 89-minute running time. Eric Roberts is also named as one of the main actors. He plays a priest and figures into maybe 5 minutes of screen time as well.

As much as I hate saying this about any movie, "The Cloth" has absolutely no redeeming qualities. It's a haphazard attempt at combining the elements of much better films like "Constantine" and "End of Days." I hope Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts were paid well enough to justify them wasting their time and talents on this drivel.

Don't Waste Your Time..

[softmylove · 1/10 · 14 September 2013]

Well, i wasted my time to watch this film. This is not a horror movie.This does not fall into that category. I actually don't get it.. it is so bad acting, writing, effects etc.I wish no one else to waste their time watching this film. I have seen much much better at a local college or University. If it was not for Netflix these films would never see the light of day and nor should they. don't know why people would use their time and money to make movies like these. Please do not waste your time (if that is the only thing you are spending to watch this). . Its move like cartoon actions. Beware of this movie. I like to recommend the movies who are all in drunk and small kids.

A soulless battle of the souls

[TheLittleSongbird · 2/10 · 22 March 2018]

My main reasons for seeing 'The Cloth' were that the idea was sort of intriguing and that it had Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts (the two biggest names and not exactly bad actors, Trejo especially has shown his ability to be one of the least bad things about bad films) in it. Expectations were not exactly high but it was not as if it was watched with the want of it being bad.

With the sole exception of an attention-grabbing and unsettling opening, which actually gave off a promising first impression, 'The Cloth' manages to be a complete mess at the end of the day. It wastes everything that the film was seen for in the first place, and ruins a not bad premise with execution that describing it as sub-par is being far too kind. There are certainly far worse films about, films that don't have any redeeming qualities (something that for all its badness 'The Cloth' did have), but for its subject matter this was one soulless film.

'The Cloth' is incredibly amateurish visually, insultingly so. It is so chaotically and self-indulgently shot, making a lot of the film incoherent, and the use of lighting couldn't be more inappropriate or random (some of it made me feel ill, anybody with a neurological condition beware). Atmosphere is zero. Worst of all are the special effects and the look of the demons, which would have even been badly out of date in the 60s let alone in a time where technology and effects on the most part have significantly advanced when not overused and abused.

Sound effects and music are far too loud and intrusive, any tension, suspense or creepiness are completely ruined by the sound and music making it far too obvious what was going to happen.

When it is not hard to understand (which a good deal of the time it's as incomprehensible as the production values), the dialogue is enough to make even the most childish child feel dumb and it constantly sounds awkward. After a promising opening, the story goes downhill quicker than one can down a fizzy drink can quickly.

It is just so dull and it was like no heart or enthusiasm was put into it, judging from the molasses-slow pace, the lack of atmosphere and personality and that it doesn't even try to make sense.

None of the characters are interesting or engaging, very little is learnt about them and we don't care because some are annoying and others are like walking robots.

Don't expect Trejo or Roberts to save it. Both are woefully misused with far too short screen-times (especially Trejo) and both are pretty lousy, with a very hammy Trejo and Roberts at his most bored-looking (actually looking like he regretted taking part).

Having said that, they are acting masters compared to the rest of the cast. There is an excessive amount of chewing-the-scenery-to-pieces and even more an amount of somnambulant sounding-drunk acting. The direction makes failed student film project directing look more professional.

Overall, wasn't bad to begin with but everything else when it rapidly went down south was a disaster. 2/10 Bethany Cox

EXORCISMS 'R' US

[nogodnomasters · 2/10 · 11 June 2019]

The film opens with a wonderful upskirt and camel toe we haven't seen since the likes of "Poltergeist." Danny Trejo is a priest performing an exorcism, which is not his long suit. Everyone dies, and so does the film. Trejo has a later cameo in a flashback. Another in a long list of film in which Trejo is billed far beyond his role.

Meanwhile young Jason is recruited by "The Cloth" because calling the film "Exorcisms 'R' Us" wouldn't sell. They are a secret Vatican God Squad who go around performing exorcisms. Lately, business has been picking up as all hell is about to break loose, similar to "Ghost Busters" but not as fun. Young girl chasing Jason (Kyler Willett) is the one who can save the world from the evil doers.Lucky us.

The plot isn't half bad, if they had stuck to the grindhouse music and style instead of invoking entertainment killing "Lifetime" dialogue. The acting was extremely poor with Lassiter Holmes, Kyler Willett, and Rachele Brooke Smith unable to deliver a line. Eric Roberts is a creepy looking priest. I liked the scene of Jason armed with a squirt gun filled with Holy Water, although they failed to make the rest of the film that entertaining. Think: Super-soaker.

And where do demons from hell go after you kill them? Detroit?

Parental Guide: No f-bombs, no nudity. Implied sex.

Ugh, bad bad bad!

[jadagirl · 3/10 · 26 April 2013]

Wowza, there aren't enough words to describe this mess of a movie, but i'll give it a try: stink, bomb, horrid, deplorable, terrible.....

OK, admittedly I did read a couple of the reviews, but I always like forming my own opinion, and the fact that Danny Trejo was in it, made me want to watch it. First mistake was that Danny was barely in it for 5 mins, much to my huge disappointment, but hey Eric Roberts was in it too. Yep, he got even less air time than Danny. That was pretty much it for the actors that made me want to watch it.

Now on to the good/bad stuff. The movie was bad. Not even campy bad like Evil Dead (which I absolutely love!), but BAD. The acting was horrible, the direction, cinematography and music didn't match, and the characters were forgettable and even in some cases annoying (aka, the lead character). I just couldn't connect with their story lines. Why didn't I just stop watching it? A movie has to be beyond bad for me to stop watching it, that's just how I am. I have to watch to the end to see if it gets any better.

Overall assessment: 3/10. The 3 stars just because of Danny and Eric... Watch and form your own opinion, but it was a wasted 1 1/2hr.

Cheers

Complete garbage

[joebrown850-721-168077 · 1/10 · 5 July 2013]

Very stupid/dull movie. The beginning started out some what decent. Then things went south from there on. The only thing that was of interest were the hoes willing to show their panties to be in a movie. Another movie with a goofy black guy with a white chick. Thank god that was only in one scene. However, I couldn't finish watching this lame flick to say anymore on that topic. This movie is full of cheesy gay effects. The main actor is a complete douche. Movies like this prove anyone can be an actor, just have to be in the right place at the right time. The only decent actor is the short guy that builds the weapons. If the story line was better and less corny CGI it would be a tad bit better.

Sweet.

[DaveSummers777 · 8/10 · 10 May 2013]

Yooooo!!!! The guns and weapons were sweet! They looked very realistic. There are a few things in the world I would just love to "eliminate." "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" had cool weapons but they didn't transform likes these did, plus the religious touches were a nice addition. When Rachele Brooke Smith came out, I wanted to drool. She always had a killer body. And the girl and girl action was not displeasing to the eye, I must say so myself. Wouldn't mind a little bit more skin though, female skin. I think we saw enough of the main guy's body. One thing is I didn't get to see the 3D version so I can't wait for that. I know it will be Eppiiccc!!!

Was it really that bad?

[Youshouldntsaythat · 18 January 2014]

I love when movies jump right into the action, and "The Cloth" did not fail me in this area. On the other hand, this film jumped so far into the action that character building was neglected. The only thing that I learned about the main character, Jason, after 45mins of viewing was that he liked to club, he liked sex, he knew a preacher, and his whole family was killed.

After 45mins I was clueless to why the main character was the chosen one to fight in the war, why did the preacher have a key to his apartment, and why was there a long drawn out exorcist scene in the beginning because they could have just shot the b**ch with the crucifix weapon. Because of the lack of character building and plot holes I stop watching at 45mins.

There were other faults like the acting, the mood, the unnecessary use of graphics; in fact the graphics seemed out of place.

I thought the sound effects where great and the music blended in well.

Although I thought the movie sucked, I think the director could have potential. I understood where he or she was going with the film, but he or she missed it by a long shot.

~Watched alone in the dark~

Decent distraction

[yohanridertt · 7/10 · 4 January 2013]

I am so glad this was on DVD and not in theaters. It was a cool film with decent acting. I recommend seeing a film called "The Ending", a Swedish film, if you really want to get a possession film that will scare you. But this had a really nice concept which is the reason it gets a 6 because if this was just a possession film like the "last exorcism", then it would get a 4 from me. I expect to be over enthralled with a film if I drop 24.00 American dollars on it. I wonder how many friends will rate this with a ten? I have a weird feeling this could be one of those weird cult franchises that people tell you to go see, who knows. If you want to see cool concept with great CGI then this is in your wheel house, just don't expect Avatar.

Disappointing

[gavin6942 · 3/10 · 3 July 2013]

A godless man (Kyler Williett) is recruited by a secret organization who works to combat demonic possessions in order to prepare a new generation in the battle against evil forces.

I just do not know what to say about this one. What are transforming weapons? Why did it take 12-hour makeup sessions to get demons that look like "Evil Dead" meets "Exorcist" (and not in a good way)? Why is there terrible overacting, some of it being incredible hammy? And on top of all that, possibly the worst computer graphics ever (well, besides "Birdemic").

Not even Eric Roberts and Danny Trejo can save this (though Roberts has reached a point where his very presence makes a film bad, as he now has the taint of Full Moon on him). Oh, and we get 10 minutes of credits, 80 minutes of film... why not just call it an 80 minute film and wrap up the credits faster?

Topped my list of the Worst Movies ever

[zamansm · 1/10 · 3 August 2013]

This movie has everything done the wrong way. I am taking the pain of writing a few lines to tell others NOT TO WATCH this movie even if your life depended on it.

The acting is unimaginably lifeless and robots could do a better job. The CGI / Special Effects are so bad that they are funny. And there seems to be a storyline which just kept going everywhere. As expected, they threw some nudity/sex, which strictly to ensure the mixture.

I don't know why people would use their time and money to make movies like these. Please do not waste your time (if that is the only thing you are spending to watch this).