The Cloth (2013)
2/10
A soulless battle of the souls
22 March 2018
My main reasons for seeing 'The Cloth' were that the idea was sort of intriguing and that it had Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts (the two biggest names and not exactly bad actors, Trejo especially has shown his ability to be one of the least bad things about bad films) in it. Expectations were not exactly high but it was not as if it was watched with the want of it being bad.

With the sole exception of an attention-grabbing and unsettling opening, which actually gave off a promising first impression, 'The Cloth' manages to be a complete mess at the end of the day. It wastes everything that the film was seen for in the first place, and ruins a not bad premise with execution that describing it as sub-par is being far too kind. There are certainly far worse films about, films that don't have any redeeming qualities (something that for all its badness 'The Cloth' did have), but for its subject matter this was one soulless film.

'The Cloth' is incredibly amateurish visually, insultingly so. It is so chaotically and self-indulgently shot, making a lot of the film incoherent, and the use of lighting couldn't be more inappropriate or random (some of it made me feel ill, anybody with a neurological condition beware). Atmosphere is zero. Worst of all are the special effects and the look of the demons, which would have even been badly out of date in the 60s let alone in a time where technology and effects on the most part have significantly advanced when not overused and abused.

Sound effects and music are far too loud and intrusive, any tension, suspense or creepiness are completely ruined by the sound and music making it far too obvious what was going to happen.

When it is not hard to understand (which a good deal of the time it's as incomprehensible as the production values), the dialogue is enough to make even the most childish child feel dumb and it constantly sounds awkward. After a promising opening, the story goes downhill quicker than one can down a fizzy drink can quickly.

It is just so dull and it was like no heart or enthusiasm was put into it, judging from the molasses-slow pace, the lack of atmosphere and personality and that it doesn't even try to make sense.

None of the characters are interesting or engaging, very little is learnt about them and we don't care because some are annoying and others are like walking robots.

Don't expect Trejo or Roberts to save it. Both are woefully misused with far too short screen-times (especially Trejo) and both are pretty lousy, with a very hammy Trejo and Roberts at his most bored-looking (actually looking like he regretted taking part).

Having said that, they are acting masters compared to the rest of the cast. There is an excessive amount of chewing-the-scenery-to-pieces and even more an amount of somnambulant sounding-drunk acting. The direction makes failed student film project directing look more professional.

Overall, wasn't bad to begin with but everything else when it rapidly went down south was a disaster. 2/10 Bethany Cox
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