Shui xu wai zhuan (1984) Poster

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9/10
"You little fool. I'm your little girl."
DavyDissonance12 January 2018
Secret Of The Water Technique is about...... the hell if I know. Just when I thought this was just another typical dumb ass kung fu comedy, it somehow ends up on a path towards complete and utter surrealism and stupidity. The first half of the movie is standard, unoriginal, uninspiring kung foolery with some good fights, naked men getting some kind of torture massage and chiropractory and other crap. The second half is just... I don't know. I think the director suddenly decided to try heroine and this was the result. Just utter bizarre crap featuring transgender weirdos and a monster that looks like a bloodied retarded pecker. The kung fu action was fun and ....uh.. different in some aspects like one of the weirdos getting a kung fu pole stuffed in his boo -yah while in the air (not graphic though) and dies, I know the story was revenge based but the copy I got of the film has embedded subtitles and they started moving off screen towards the end and it was hard to read it the first place. And $#!+. And throughout it all I loved this movie. It's illogical, absurd, and above all cheesy and stupid but it's freaking great. An illogical 9/10.
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