When We Were Bullies (2021) Poster

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4/10
My First and Perhaps Only IMDb Review
wildthingwriter1 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I don't know if I've ever felt called to write an IMDb review before, but after seeing the absolutely appalled reactions of most viewers, I had to add my voice to the din. I didn't hate the documentary, but I am SHOCKED at the level of award recognition it received after seeing it. This film is indeed created by and filled with the voices of people who not only grew up in a culture devoid of normal empathy, but who more or less maintain that level of callousness to this day. I'll get to that in a moment.

I don't share the complaint that this film is boring--actually, that's the one thing I'll say for it: The shallow dip into PS 194 in 1964 Brooklyn was vivid and disturbing, which kept me watching in a kind of mute horror. It was interesting. Was the exploration worth documenting in a film, even a 35-minute short? Who can say? Maybe the film is interesting not for what it aims to do (which is murky at best and, honestly, the heart of what's WRONG with the film, which I'll get to--as many other reviewers have) but for what it reveals almost by accident: narcissism, callousness, a lack of self-awareness that is, at times, jaw-dropping. (I could not believe Rosenblatt was not being ironic--not a shade--when he lamented that Mrs. Bromberg made him feel ashamed for years when she admonished the schoolchildren, branding them as bullies after they ganged up and beat up (??? I think??? The film is so hazy on the details of the incident's actual, literal violence; it's CONCERNING in its blatant refusal to address this) Dick. By the way, that's apparently the only consequence anyone suffered because THAT WAS THE SIXTIES, I GUESS.

I almost don't need to go into the problematic position of Rosenblatt because other reviewers have already done it so well. Rosenblatt is mostly concerned with his own sense of shame and how he can easily rectify it, not the victim of his actions or what he might see as reasonable amends. His former classmates, too, overwhelmingly share this position, often diverting from the topic of Dick's beating to comment on Rosenblatt's brother's death in elementary school. Why these comments make the final cut of the film is unclear ... unless, of course, the likely event that the reviewers who have already written have mentioned: Rosenblatt is attempting to tie his grief over his brother to the bullying incident and, furthermore, using it to tacitly excuse his part in the violence.

I can't speak for others, but I think it's fair for me to assume that there are other millennials writing reviews about this film here. The vast generational divide between me and the subjects of this film probably exacerbated some of my horror over their contributions, which I mentioned earlier. In addition to enduring the comments of Rosenblatt and his classmates (who, if they weren't changing the subject when asked about the incident with Dick, were making half-baked excuses like "Oh, yeah, but I remember him being REALLY weird, right? We were just kids, anyway!"), viewers are treated to the truly horrific Mrs. Bromberg herself, now aged to a ripe 94.

Mrs. Bromberg does not seem particularly moved by Rosenblatt's story, nor does she seem to have anything meaningful to offer in the way of insights as an educator of the time period. She all but rudely shrugs off Rosenblatt's questions, and even spends a couple of minutes insulting the film's premise, wondering aloud whether it will be "tedious." Again, I have absolutely no idea why this footage made the final cut. It added nothing of value to the story, nor to the viewer's understanding of the climate in which this story took place. Most appalling, when asked (by the increasingly mealy Rosenblatt, who tries and fails to laugh away Bromberg's gruff responses) what her general understanding of bullying is, she remarks that her daughter was bullied. This is horrible in and of itself (especially given what the audience has just learned about the apparent total lack of repercussions or even empathy on the part of adults involved in incidents of youth violence in the mid-sixties in New York City), but Mrs. Bromberg also almost immediately attributes her daughter's death to suicide as a result of bullying. This would be a mendacious claim to make about someone who died as an adult (and was bullied in childhood) to begin with, but what's more, Bromberg tells Rosenblatt that her daughter committed suicide by way of weight gain. By her logic, because her daughter was a respiratory care specialist, she knew the risk of weight gain, and thus killed herself by letting herself go. This is both ridiculous and deeply harmful logic, and because it has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DOCUMENTARY'S SUBJECT, it goes unaddressed.

I have no idea how this was received critically, and I'm curious to find out ... but until then, I salute my fellow IMDb users on the reviews that told the story on this one.
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5/10
Hum...
PedroPires9014 March 2022
Contrary to most on this network, I don't think we should only listen the victims. I think that to solve any problem, especially something endless and something that happened to so many, we need to try to understand it as a society.

Now, I have some issues with the tone of this one. The music selected was weird and doesn't seem the right one for the moment. It doesn't seem to take the issue strongly and seriously enough, even if in the end the messages are mostly right. I like what it tries to do and tell, but I have some issues in how it tell us that.
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1/10
Have you no sense of decency?
jgiacobello-9362115 April 2022
Self serving, self congratulatory trash. The worst kind of human trauma exploitation. Could this man not have at least read a book about the lasting effects of child abuse? "I guess I'm not as sensitive as I thought..." You have no idea.
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1/10
Should be titled We ARE Bullies
imdb-1450819 April 2022
What a shallow, narcissistic, self-absolving exploitation of a childhood victim's trauma, replete with re-victimization and bad mouthing.

The fact that it "earned" an Oscar nom should confirm everything you must already think about The Academy, and is entirely congruent with the Wil Smith standing ovation.
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1/10
There are a lot of one-star ratings here for a reason
ericmartintech17 April 2022
And mine is one of them. This film was manipulative and dishonest. Much like bullies themselves. It is revealing that the director did not choose to actually talk with anyone about schoolyard bullying. Avoidance of responsibility and consequences color this project throughout.
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1/10
"Hey man. Remember when we bullied you back in the 5th grade". No? Let me remind you and make a movie about it
Ducsoup9 April 2022
There was no deep meaning to be gleaned from this story. The ego of the filmmaker and those who participated were dismissive of their own actions while trying to shift blame away from these animals.

There was one woman (with a c) interviewed who claimed to feel guilty while smiling and laughing through her entire interview. She seemed particularly proud of herself.

You can easily sum up this very bad movie when at the end of the film the director says..."felt bad for the way you were treated" instead of "felt bad for the way WE treated you." What a joke.
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9/10
Grammar School Incident Haunts Filmmaker
pebsdad24 June 2021
Short film made about a grammar school bullying incident in the 60's that involved a group of students ganging up on the class loner. The filmmaker tracks down many of his classmates from the time to get their perspectives and memories of the incident.

Impossible not to jog the viewer's own memory into the same time in their life and cause them to reminisce. Clearly this incident had a very lasting effect on the filmmaker and the film, at 35 minutes, is just the right length.
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1/10
A disgusting, unreflective film by a bully
patrickfilbeck4 January 2022
This documentary is an affront to victims of bullying and the following explains why: The filmmaker himself is the bully from the past, which would still be okay if he approached the matter in a self-reflective manner. But he doesn't do that, instead he draws an explanation for his actions that could hardly be cheaper and more mendacious. Because towards the end of the short documentary he explains that he does not contact the victim of bullying, as allegedly originally wanted, and ask for an interview, but rather writes a letter. The reason is that he does not want to bring people into a new forced situation and did not want to end up clichéd with the strength of those who lead a successful life despite being bullied. In truth, however, he does not find out what consequences his bullying had on the victim. His letter is the height of spiritual poverty. There he justifies his actions with the pain he had in himself because his brother died in the fourth grade. This pain specifically made him bully and torment this other boy. His reading of these events is that everyone carries pain within themselves and that then connects everyone - including him and his victim of bullying. This is outrageous and rightly provokes anger for viewers. Because it would even be possible that the bullied person also experienced pain from a loss, just not bullying others because of it. The emotional pain of both is just not comparable, because the bully reduces the pain of the bullied to what he did to him. What the bully did, however, he supposedly did out of an equal pain ... and, in the opinion of the poor filmmaker, that connects the two. Aha. In fact, the bully seems to be looking for an excuse for himself. Today, as a grown man, he prefers to talk about his pain and he does this by not only comparing his pain with the pain of his victim, but even equating it. It's disgusting and so weak that looking at it doesn't squeeze your tear gland, but instead the food comes up again.
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1/10
Narcissistic filmmaker digs up old wounds
IdgeE14 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I do believe that this film was made well, as in the style and the tempo. But I have SERIOUS issues with this. First, the narrating is too bland and monotone.

But the real problem is that this is a film that the.filmmaker is using to absolve his guilt, and then brings in others to help him with that ambition. But, like he even admitted, did anyone even consider Dick's feelings? It's just tacky.

Pretty sure we've all been bullied a time or two in life, and I'm sure that none of us walked away glad about it. I know I have, and I haven't forgotten any of it. And I've been on the bullying side of things as well, and that too is in my memory of shame.

This a-hole is metaphorically pumping out his chest at the idea that Dick may forgive him and the rest of the gang. This is such a pompous act. The trauma that Dick felt in the moment didn't just go away. They ostracized this boy for what? And was it proven that he was actually the Richard who was talking? What if the other Richard/Richie was lying? And is it that serious to sit after school for a few minutes or so? Yeah, these are kids and a minute feels like an hour, but who raised these demons? And where is the teacher's responsibility in this? SHE called the boy out by NAME, and she gets to walk away and not even remember the incident? Do a documentary on her selfish butt. She should have been reprimanded, the gang of thugs should have been reprimanded, and Dick should have been able to exact his revenge.

I had to watch the entire film because I wanted there to be some resolution for Dick. But Jay couldn't even get that part right. Screw that, just because Dick was successful doesn't mean he wasn't traumatized. And what would have happened if Jay had found Dick to be desolate and unsuccessful as an adult? Would he still have interviewed the classmates? Would he have been ashamed or proud? Would any of them have attempted redemption? Start a GoFundMe? What if Dick had taken his own life, which happens far too often in these situations?

This is pretty narcissistic, selfish, inconsiderate, and everything else you can think of. Watch it if you wish, but this dude does not deserve accolades for this horrible film. I'll go cry now.

Edit: I came back to add a few more bits.

It was appalling to hear Jay sound more disappointed that a few classmates died before he could film them, than he was about the actual bullying. (What???) It wasn't cute when they pointed out the spot where it all took place. I get it, reminiscing and trying to make sense of it, possibly because they couldn't believe they were capable of anything horrible. But at 60+ years of age, they should all know better than to treat it as if they simply brushed by Dick instead of punching and kicking him.

Also: To the reviewer who wrote: "I see a lot of dishonest one star reviews obviously fueled by anger and resentment. Most likely victims of bullying themselves. With respect, you guys missed the point of the documentary." Come on dude, you are simply being a bully by writing that. OF COURSE people have been victims of bullying, why is that so hard to comprehend or believe? But to call them/us "dishonest" is a form of bullying. Thanks for being an insensitive moron.
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1/10
Narcissistic dribble
ossie8525 March 2022
Edit: killercola suggested that my review was disingenuous because I was a victim of bullying. Since they are reviewing the reviewers, I feel inclined to comment.

You are damn right I'm angry. But that doesn't make my experience watching this film any less honest. And just because I disagree with point of the film, doesn't mean I don't understand it.

It is shameful that the film maker made a documentary that heavily involved a person, but failed to seek comment from that person. If he was genuinely concerned it would trigger him, he wouldn't release the film without his permission in the first place.

If you feel this is a 9 out of 10, good for you. I'm not going to suggest your experience was dishonest, please lend others the same courtesy.

Original review:

Guy suddenly remembers he bullied someone, and makes the story all about himself, and makes a career from it.

No genuine remorse comes across to me.

Tries to justify his actions, to the point it becomes propaganda... 'boys will be boys'.. 'hardwired to attack the vulnerable'

Plus, so BORING. There's no real insight, and I don't include 'we kids were cruel cos we were kids'.

How it got an Oscar nomination is beyond me.
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1/10
shameful
allfourgators-6547419 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
At the beginning, Richard admits that he started the chain of events to direct attention away from himself. Then proceeds to use words like "participated" and "we" throughout the boring doc to justify making this short film. The real reason you remember it and no one else really does is because you are responsible. It is no wonder the victim never got in touch and watching the film. Try just apologizing and owning what you did and maybe it will ease your conscious.
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3/10
The Final Act of Bullying
michaeljcarroll12 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
A coincidence leads the film-maker into an exploration of the psychology and sociology of an act of bullying he committed back in elementary/middle school and the complicity of his classmates both during the event and afterwards.

More than anything else, this film seems an attempt to turn the lemony bitterness still lingering in his head into a kind of lemonade of redemption through confession and a profitable movie.

But the attempt is unconvincing, at least in terms of self-exoneration. At the end, when it is clear that everyone still alive who was involved got a chance to either vindicate or excuse their choices, but without the participation of the still living victim, it is glaringly obvious that this is coup-de-grace, a final act of bullying against a voiceless victim.
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9/10
So...
killercola31 March 2022
I see a lot of dishonest one star reviews obviously fueled by anger and resentment. Most likely victims of bullying themselves. With respect, you guys missed the point of the documentary. I'm not minimizing the trauma of victims of bullying but the reviews are disingenuous and misleading at best. This is an Oscar nominated documentary. Watch it for yourself and make your own interpretations.
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1/10
A bully trying to make himself feel better
Ashleygeorge3315 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I watched this thinking it would actually be good seen as it's on HBO... horrible. This documentary goes over how he bullied a kid and other kids joined in... okay so then what? Nothing. You are literally watching him go over something that happened so long ago to get nowhere.
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1/10
I Agree With The Bad Reviews
rustimalone14 April 2022
Pompous, self- serving, insensitive TRASH. I kept on hoping that something great would come of this film, but it fell flat. Not impressed. I think that he had the brilliant idea of making this movie whilst riding on the back of a unicorn. Totally delusional.
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1/10
As the Teacher in the documentary said
ellipseanostalrius31 March 2022
"I don't think anyone is going to want to watch your movie because it could be very tedious and boring."

Spot on granny. Spot on.

I like documentaries, but this...why was it made? Because someone had a feeling once.
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3/10
Disappointing Retrospective Documentary on Bullying
AtlasShruggd2 May 2022
I'll start off to say at the outset that I was bullied relentlessly in school. The first observation I have is that I turned out ok, and I have a good life. I've been successful. The second observation I have is that, despite my adaptation, the bullying I experienced affects me negatively to this day. Both of these are true. What's more, I've talked to some of my childhood bullies now that we're 30+ years away from the incidents, and I've enjoyed getting their perspective on these things. It also helps, weirdly, that some of them have apologized.

So, that's my perspective, and I feel it's a complete perspective because it involves everyone who was actually involved, and it processes the emotions we all feel for this. I feel that in a lot of ways I've been able to process the situation I was in, and I've also been able to help others process their involvement, by hearing their apologies in most cases, and also forgiving. I mean, that isn't what I set out to do, but it's a healing process and for me it works.

This documentary doesn't do that. For some reason, it sticks strictly to the perspective of the bullies, interviewing them at various points, and so along with the documentarian, we get the perspective of the classmates involved in a vicious bullying incident to which most of them were involved.

The documentarian decided to pass on including the bullied kid. His reasoning was shallow at best -- he seems not to have wanted to portray the victim of bullying as having been able to get past his experiences and to become successful. There are so many things wrong with that approach, but the first is that the documentarian is seeking to portray a preferred reality rather than the reality as it exists outside of his head -- that reality being his preference not to "minimize" his bullying by showing a person who came out of it able to function and function well. Like it or not, that IS the reality in this case, and it shouldn't be dodged.

The second reason is related to the first, in that, by excluding the victim for that reason, he has missed possibly seeing the intricacies that go beyond simply how successful the man was in life. Being someone who is also successful in life, I can tell you that doesn't mean that the feelings were not necessary to process, and the contact with past bullies has helped me in ways even I didn't expect. That would have been the way to approach this -- but the documentarian took the easy way out. Imagine going all the way to Florida to visit the elderly teacher to discuss the incident in question, an incident she doesn't even remember, but not including the victim of the bullying. It's just a weird step to take, and the reasoning used simply sounds, feels, and tastes like a copout.

I spend most of my time watching documentaries. It's really one of the few types of television I watch. I've noticed that documentaries more and more attempt to portray from facts to a desired conclusion rather than present the facts for a clear conclusion, and editing is the chief tool in making this happen. So I realize this is technically what most documentaries have become, but I think there's a fine line somewhere that this one crossed that others have not. It crossed from documentary into docudrama without actually saying so, and the documentarian crossed from documentarian to the broader category of filmmaker, or even entertainer. Unfortunately, I cannot really recommend the result.
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2/10
the absence of Dick
jimelespada14 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I really felt the void of dick absence in the film. They talk about him, show you all the time the photograph of Richard Dick cut off, but all the rest of the classmates that bullyed him appear in photo and voice. That is so obscure. He even is still alive . So I dont get it. And even the director said he was going to interview Dick so I waited all along to see that, and to see him, but that never happened. At the end he says the movie is not about you is about us. But if it wasnt for Dick the victim , the bullied, there wouldnt be any story to tell , and any oscar nomination, and that last I dont get it either.

Greetings from argentina, I tried my best with the english.
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8/10
Why do kids pick on those vulnerable and different
dorothyboboprg16 July 2022
Loved it! Thoughtful and insightful. Really made me think how and why children are bullied and how easy bullies go along with the taunting. I really wanted Dick to get in on the discussions. But it was ok that he didn't.

Would like to see more of this film maker's work.
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1/10
Wolf in sheep's clothing...twice
lovelyurgentfortgreene18 February 2022
I was really looking forward to this film: I was bullied as a kid, especially at the same age as the characters, and wondered if there might be some kind of self-reflection, atonement, peacemaking. Instead, this guy made not only one-a film with burning ants in the title!?-but two films that depict the traumatizing, violent incident. Then, in the second, he permits about a dozen of his classmates to talk about how weird and unlikeable the bullied kid was. I felt very happy for him at first-a successful television exec-and then I wondered whether the filmmaker was annoyed that he hadn't replied to the burning ants DVD. And then the sociopathic nonagenarian teacher, who says that girls are catty, that boys are very easy to get along with as long as you throw a ball, and whose own daughter was bullied, obese and died by suicide. Asked about this, she shrugged. (She also told the filmmaker that no one would want to see his film. Because "it could be possibly very tedious...to watch.") And then the documentarian alleges that maybe "Dick" doesn't remember the incident?! What a world.
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3/10
Engaging but Shallow
slimbackfat1 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The ending was crap

It was a way to avoid having to confront the victim and potentially face the reality that his bullying did actually leave a lasting impact

The film maker only shallowly exams what happened & tries to hand wave it away even though he does clearly have a lot of shame over his behavior

Film kept my attention the whole time and I thought it raised a lot of good & interesting questions. But just hand waves everything away rather than making a point on anything

Would not watch again.
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1/10
Way to miss the point.
andrew-6429631 March 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Pedantic, narcissistic drivel.

Nothing else need be pointed out, despite the ample ammunition, aside from the self indulgent offering of a platitudinal "I'm sorry" as the last words of the film.

What an inspiration to humanity you are.

Cowardice at its best.
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1/10
It wasn't good
kayleerf5 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I agree with the other low rated reviews, the documentary was very surface level/shallow, boring. It seemed like the only purpose of the movie was to make the director feel better about being a bully/easy money grab. There is literally no substance at all and when it got to the letter I was over the whole movie. The director should of just left it at I was a bully and so were some other kids cuz that's the only information you get for the whole documentary. Plus they teased Richard the whole movie and didn't even do an interview with him when he was the main character. The annoying thing is the movie had potential, he could of delved deeper, he could of centered around Richard but instead he centered around the other classmates who had a vague recollection of what happened ... so you never hear the full story except from one guy who started it. It's a waste of time. I don't know how it was Oscar nominated, and no I was never bullied or a bully.
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1/10
Tasteless Trash
joeidaho-550364 April 2022
The narrative/agenda of this "film" is to piggy back on a very real, current, and serious problem of Bullying.

I would like to point out clear manipulation I noticed from the director

Director: "I got this letter for a 50th reunion for my Elementary school.."

Translation: "I'll host a 50th reunion party at a swanky NYC hotel with an open bar so I can get the interviews I need.."

Director: "I got a call from "Richard" who heard I made a film about him, he is a big shot in TV production now and said he can handle anything. I sent the film to him. That was 16 years ago and still haven't heard back,. I am choosing to not use his name or face out of respect"

Translation: "I got in touch with the victim, found out he is super successful. He said he vaguely remembers me and gave me permission to use his name in the new film. He thinks showing that victims can triumph over bully's will be beneficial for current youths grappling with this problem in their everyday life"

Director: " I made this film to talk about bullying from a unique perspective "

Translation: " I wanted to make a film about a broadly sensitive topic and pander to the audience. This will surely get me an Oscar nomination"
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10/10
An Excellent Look at Why People Bully
bmccarthy-4113525 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This thoughtful short doc asks the question why a group of normal grade school kids turned into a mob that bullied a peer. Many here are upset that the victim does not get his say. The filmmaker did contact the victim and he did not want to participate. That was the victim's right and is certainly understandable. If the filmmaker had pressed him to participate that would have been harassment- or further bullying. The filmmaker explores what is behind this mob rule. This is NOT a look at one-on-one bullying- which in my view has a whole different mindset.

How the filmmaker met a fellow classmate, (decades later) who was part of the mob that horrible day is an amazing and magical look at chance. It was a "Wow!" moment for me.

The filmmaker also looks at the why within himself. What happened to him in that year (he was 10) should not happen to any child. I can see how that young boy felt angry, sad, and confused by his loss, and how that made him vulnerable to being part of that mob.

I might have some nostalgic bias here. I am about the same age of the filmmaker and grew up steps from his Brooklyn neighborhood. I do not know the filmmaker though. To be able to look back and reflect on the "bad" in you (and all of us) is a sign of growth, honesty, and maturity. Highly recommended!
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