South Park (TV Series)

It Hits the Fan (2001)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Randy Marsh, Randy's Colleague #1, Mr. Garrison, Cop, TV Announcer, Tom the News Reader, Rick Watts, Ms. Choksondik, Timmy, Elderly Man, Mr. Mackey, Peter, Passing Woman #2, Officer Barbrady, Swearing Man #2, Swearing Man #3, Network Executive, Roger, TV Employee #3, TV Employee #5, Librarian, Pilot, Scottish Man #1, Excalibur Hotel Announcer, Sitcom Actor, Sitcom Actress, Wise One, Scottish Knight #4

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Garrison : Now when I want you to hand in your work, I'll say, "Hand in your shit".

  Filmore Anderson : What about, "I have to take a shit"?

  Mr. Garrison : No, Fillmore. You can say, "I have to poop and shit", or, "Oh, shit, I have to poop", but not "I have to take a shit".

• Mr. Garrison : Well, they can't use "fag" because you can't say "fag" unless you're a homosexual.

  Mr. Marsh : Really? So we can't say

  [bleeped out] 

  Mr. Marsh : "fag"?

  Mr. Garrison : See? You, you got beeped.

  Man #1 : You mean you have to be a

  [bleeped out] 

  Man #1 : "fag" to say

  [bleeped out] 

  Man #1 : "fag"?

  Mr. Garrison : That's right!

  Jimbo : Well, that's not fair! I should be able to say "fag".

  Mr. Marsh : Hey, you didn't get beeped.

  Jimbo : Uh oh.

  Mr. Garrison : Well, well, well. Guess we learned something new about you, Jimbo, you friggin' fag. You wanna go and make out or something?

• Stan Marsh : This sucks. Now that "shit"'s out, it isn't fun to say it anymore.

  Eric Cartman : Yeah, they've taken all the fun out of "shit". We're gonna have to say other bad words like "cock" and "fuck" and "mee krob".

  Stan Marsh : What's mee krob?

  Eric Cartman : You know, that stuff you get as an appetizer at Thai food restaurants. Mee krob is way grosser than shit, dude. I'd scarf down a whole, wet bucket full of shit before I ate another plate of mee krob.

• Cartman : Maybe you didn't hear me, Kyle. I said SHIT. On TELEVISION.

• Cartman : Kyle, they're going to say "shit" on television.

  Kyle : I don't give a fuck.

• Eric Cartman : You seem a little irritable Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina?

  Kyle : THERE'S NO SAND IN MY VAGINA.

• Cartman : You guys looks here. In this Nancy Drew mystery, Nancy goes to the beach and gets sand trapped in her shoe. This could explain how Kyle got it in his vagina.

• Ms. Choksondik : Alright children, in lew of the common usage, I'm supposed to clarify the school's position on the word "shit".

  Stan Marsh : Wow! We can say shit in the school now?

  Kyle : This is ridiculous. Just because they say it on TV, it's alright?

  Ms. Choksondik : Yes, but only in the figurative noun form or the adjective form?

  Eric Cartman : Huh?

  Ms. Choksondik : You can only use it in the nonliteral sense. For instance,

  [writes on the board] 

  Ms. Choksondik : "That's a shitty picture of me" is now fine. However, the literal noun form of

  [writes on the board] 

  Ms. Choksondik : "This is a picture of shit" is still naughty.

• Mr. Garrison : Recently I came out and admitted I was a homosexual so now I can say the word "Fag". On television, they usually don't allow "fag", but since I'm gay, it's okay. And with the new approval of the word "shit", I can now say: "Hey there, shitty shitty fag fag, shitty shitty fag fag, how do you do? Hey there, shitty shitty fag fag, shitty shitty fag fag, how do you do?"

• Cartman : Kyle, you are being a Negative Nancy.

• Man : [singing]  Old MacDonald took a shit.

• Kyle : It said in my book that the word "shit" started the exact same time as something called "The Black Death".

  Chef : The Black Death? Are you sure?

  Stan Marsh : What's "The Black Death", Chef?

  Chef : LaToya Jackson, children.

• Mr. Garrison : So piss off, ya fag shitter!

• Cartman : So please, everyone, From now on you've got to try and watch your language.

• HBC Director : Listen, Mr. Shinypants, I am the head of this network, and I will say "shit" all I want! Shit, shit, shit shit shit, shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit,

  [A rumble is heard] 

  HBC Director : , shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!

  [He stops. The rumble gets very loud and the ground begins to heave, as if an earthquake is occurring. The ground splits open and the Geldon Dragon rises from it. The audience screams as the Geldon breathes real fire out at them] 

  HBC Director : Oh, shit!

• Eric Cartman : I don't get it.

  Stan Marsh : Me neither.

  Ms. Choksondik : The adjective form is now also acceptable. For example,

  [writes on the board] 

  Ms. Choksondik : "The weather outside is shitty". However, the literal adjective is not appropriate. For example,

  [writes on board] 

  Ms. Choksondik : "My bad diarrhea made the inside of the toilet all shitty and I had to clean it with a rag which then also became shitty". That's right out

  [crosses out the sentence] 

  Timmy : Shhhhhhit,

  Ms. Choksondik : Very good, Timmy.

  Butters : Ms. Choksondik, can we say on the expletive, like "Oh shit!" or "Shit on a shingle"?

  Ms. Choksondik : Yes, that's now fine.

  Eric Cartman : Wow! This is gonna be great! A whole new word!

  Kyle : [angrily]  It's not new! I'm gonna look "shit" up in the encyclopedia and prove it.

  Eric Cartman : Don't mind Kyle everyone, he's just got a little sand in his vagina.

  Kyle : [bangs on desk]  THERE'S NO SAND IN MY VAGINA!

  Ms. Choksondik : Boys, watch your language! Shit!

• Cartman : [to class]  Don't mind Kyle everyone, he's just got a little sand in his vagina.

  Kyle : THERE'S NO SAND IN MY VAGINA!

• Airline Captain : [aircraft's PA clicks on]  Hello, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. If you look out the right side of the aircraft, you can see some interesting shit.

  [everyone looks to the right] 

  Airline Captain : And over on the left side, there's some interesting shit, too.

  [everyone looks left] 

  Airline Captain : We should be arriving in Los Angeles in about two hours. Until then, we invite you to sit back, relax and enjoy our shitty service.

• Excalibur employee : How could you foolish Americans bring the wrath of scorn by masschanting the word of wretchedness?

  Chef : Er... yeah... We didn't mean to.

  Excalibur employee : Didn't you realise "shit" is a curse word?

  Stan Marsh : Well, yeah, but I don't think we knew that "curse word" meant... curse word.

  Excalibur employee : Ha! Leave it to Americans to think that "no" means yes, "pissed" means angry, and "curse word" means something other than a word that's cursed!

• HBC Director : Sir, I'd just like to take this opportunity: I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say, you are the most creative genius in Hollywood, and... well... I'd let you have me if you wanted.