"The Bird" begins with Harris in a jubilant mood, his novel "Precinct Diary" soon to be published under a more sensational title, "Blood on the Badge" (Harris: "if this book hits, it's gonna mean a paperback deal, a magazine serialization, movie version!"). Attempts to get his fellow squad room co-workers to sign waivers prove to be more problematic, particularly Dietrich, though Barney isn't too thrilled with his own material. Meanwhile, Wojo has purchased a parrot on the way to work (Dietrich: "who's the jailbird?"), which dies before the day is done (shades of Monty Python's 'Dead Parrot'). At first, the pet shop owner (Martin Garner, third of five) refuses to grant a refund, until learning that Wojo is a member of New York's finest, which has him rushing over with the cash right away, fearing they'll harass him with citations. There's a call to apprehend a man threatening to jump off a ledge; as it turns out, Walter Elkins (Michael Lombard, second of four) works for the suicide prevention hotline, unable to take yet another depressing call from the same lonely woman (Miriam Byrd Nethery, second of four). She actually turns up later at the station, wondering if it was something she said! (Elkins: "oh for God's sakes, hang up!").
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