Barney Miller (TV Series)
Community Relations (1977)
Jack Soo: Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana
Quotes
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Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Is something the matter ?
Det. Ron Harris : No, just reading an article about you
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Yeah ?
Det. Ron Harris : It's called the "Tragedy of the Compulsive Gambler"
Det. Ron Harris : I'm not compulsive. It's just a relaxing hobby.
Det. Ron Harris : Hmm-Hmm. Hmm-Hmm
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Ah... Does it mention me by name ?
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Det. Ron Harris : There's an article here all about Nick
Capt. Barney Miller : Hey, Barney, you don't think my gambling is compulsive, do you ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Compulsive ? I don't know that I would say that. But, you spend an inordinate amount of time on that stuff, you know. So much so one might think that more substantial matters might suffer for a lack of attention.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : See?
Det. Ron Harris : Hey, look, man . It's all here. I mean, it all goes back to a negative self-image and deep-seated guilt feelings. You know, you do it to punish yourself and to play out your masochistic tendencies
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : I'm not the only compulsive one around here, you know ?
Det. Ron Harris : Oh, yeah ?
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : I've been trying to remember the last time I didn't see one of those roman candles sticking out of your mouth.
Det. Ron Harris : Oh hey man. I just smoke because I enjoy it.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Sure ?
Det. Ron Harris : I just happen to be one of those people who looks good with a cigarette
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Harris, I'll bet you a month of night duty, that I can quit gambling easier than you can quit smoking
Det. Ron Harris : Oh, man, you got to be kidding.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Japanese have got a lot of willpower. We eat raw fish
Det. Ron Harris : You like it.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : No we don't
Det. Ron Harris : Hey, look man. I mean, personal discipline is my middle name
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : All right. As of now, I quit gambling
Det. Ron Harris : Your on. As of this moment, I quit smoking
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Capt. Barney Miller : What happened to the case ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : The judge called a recess... so I could have time to get my facts straight
Capt. Barney Miller : Okay, just relax take it easy. Everything is going go all right.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : I doubt it. I just can't talk in front of people.
Det. Ron Harris : Here you go Wojo
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Thanks, Harris. Even when I was in High School, if I had to give a report, I'd get so nervous, I'd upchuck
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : That won't impress a jury... It won't
Det. Ron Harris : Hey, Woj
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yeah
Det. Ron Harris : Man, you know what would help you a lot ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : What ?
Det. Ron Harris : A vest. Really, man, people believe a vest
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Harris... There is nothing wrong with what I'm wearing
Det. Ron Harris : Well, I mean, now is not the time to go into that
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Capt. Barney Miller : If you don't mind my asking Mr. Roth, considering your handicap, what made you think you can get away with it?
Leon Roth : No one expects a blind man to steal. I was counting on the element of surprise.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : I was surprised.
Leon Roth : I thought it was safe. I didn't smell anybody around.
Capt. Barney Miller : Uh... Siegel's wants to press charges
Det. Ron Harris : Yeah. Barn. They said it was part of their new "get tough" policy.
Capt. Barney Miller : Oh... Wonderful way to begin. Uh, I'm sorry Mr. Roth. We're going to have to book you
Leon Roth : Look, everybody's been taking from me. So, why can't I take a little ?
Capt. Barney Miller : You've been robbed Mr. Roth.
Leon Roth : Everyday and twice on Sunday's. When your blind, you rob easy. On the street. On the subway. Now, they're even coming up to my room
Capt. Barney Miller : Whose "they" ?
Leon Roth : Kids, hoods, repairman, religious fanatics. "Hello, Mr Roth. How are you Mr. Roth? I'm taking your radio and shoes, Mr. Roth. Goodbye Mr. Roth"
Capt. Barney Miller : Sorry to hear that Mr. Roth. But now, Detective Harris is going to take some information
Det. Ron Harris : Okay, Mr. Roth. Take a seat over here, huh ?
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Can I take your coat, Mr. Roth ?
Leon Roth : "I'm taking your coat, now Mr. Roth ! Thank you, Mr. Roth"
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Det. Ron Harris : I guess it's true what they say, you know. That if one loses one of the senses, that the remaining senses are sharper and more perceptive.
Leon Roth : Sure does, like I can tell from the sound of your voice. Your over 6 feet tall and your a chain smoker.
Det. Ron Harris : I don't smoke
Leon Roth : Your a liar . Something else. Your very nervous
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : How can you tell ?
Leon Roth : By the way, he keeps tapping his foot on the floor, pulling at his collar, rapping his fingers on the desk
Det. Ron Harris : I'm not nervous. I'm rhythmic
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : How do I feel ?
Leon Roth : You ? Well, your cool and collected, got a lot of personal discipline, your very, very intelligent. Either that or Japanese
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Capt. Barney Miller : Uh... Hold it. Mr. Lukeather, I wonder if you could do me a favor. Would it be possible to... uh... to help Mr. Roth here downstairs?
Phillip Lukeather : Sure
Capt. Barney Miller : This is Mr. Lukeather. He just lost his home.
Leon Roth : The guy with the gun. I heard
Phillip Lukeather : I wouldn't shoot nobody.
Leon Roth : It's okay with me
Capt. Barney Miller : Mr. Roth lives alone
Leon Roth : Yeah ?
Capt. Barney Miller : He's been robbed many times. You can understand it ?
Leon Roth : Sure.
Capt. Barney Miller : Well, listen, you can take him downstairs then, right ?
Phillip Lukeather : Yeah
Leon Roth : I'm usually very independent, but... this building scares me
Phillip Lukeather : Everybody needs help sometimes
Det. Phil Fish : Mr Lukeather, here's the receipt for the -- your gun
Leon Roth : Mr. Lukeather, which, uh... way do you go ?
Phillip Lukeather : Don't make no difference, I got no place
Leon Roth : Listen... uh... you're not one of those people who likes to rearrange the furniture, all the time, are you ?
Phillip Lukeather : Who me ? No. I got a great respect for tradition
Leon Roth : Good. That's good. Can you cook ?
Phillip Lukeather : Yeah. You like chili ?
Leon Roth : Chili. Yes, sir
Phillip Lukeather : With red beans
Leon Roth : I can't tell a red bean from a white bean. I'm blind.
Phillip Lukeather : Don't worry, I'll handle it.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Nice couple
Det. Phil Fish : Yeah. You got a real knack Barney
Capt. Barney Miller : Well. It was logical. What's more, I bet they make it
Det. Ron Harris : Ah... I bet they won't
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Your on
Det. Ron Harris : You lose