Satanic (2006) User Reviews

decent direct-to-video horror movie let down by bad final chapters and ending

[FieCrier · 4/10 · 7 June 2006]

After a car crash, a woman has her face reconstructed. She can't remember anything, and is sent to a home for delinquents since she had been a troublemaker before the crash and now has no family. A strange satanic ouija board was found with her in the car, and a satanic journal was found in her room. (Peculiarly, this movie seems to think a pentagram with one point up is satanic - I thought it was two?) People begin dying and she still can't remember anything...

The production values for this straight-to-video horror movie were pretty good, thankfully. Competent cinematography, lighting and sound, and decent special effects. The father was creepy-looking.

It was unfortunate that Scrimm and Combs didn't have bigger roles. I suspected both would turn out to be cameos, and indeed they're little more than that. I wonder what they got paid?

There's some gratuitous nudity from one of the other delinquents in the home, and the lead provides a shower scene although it seemed like it could have been a body double.

The movie really goes downhill once the characters figure out what is going on. By that time, most viewers will have guessed. The ending is pretty unsatisfying.

A Messy Screenplay

[claudio_carvalho · 3/10 · 4 September 2009]

After a car crash, the teenager Michelle (Annie Sorell) has the face completely destroyed and amnesia. In the hospital, she is called Bride of Mummy due to the mask she needs to wear along her therapy. However, her doctor makes a perfect facial reconstruction using family pictures and Michelle is discharged from the hospital and sent to a home that lodges young offenders since she was considered a troublemaker before the car crash. The police release her possessions of the day of the accident – a journal and an Ouija board - and Michelle moves with the host Bisson (Rick Dean) to his house. On the same day she leaves the hospital, the janitor is murdered. Michelle shares a room with the outcast delinquent Dalia (Eliza Swenson) and she has dreadful nightmares during the night and is confused. She befriends Larry (Brett Erickson), who shares another room in the house with Dutch (Brian Burnett), and tries to help her. When Dalia is found dead in the room with cuts in the wrists, the evidences are of suicide; however Detective Joyner (Jeffrey Combs) suspects that Michelle is the responsible for the murders.

The greatest attraction of "Satanic" is certainly the name of the cult- actor Jeffrey Combs in the credits, but unfortunately he has a minor role. The screenplay is a complete mess, with a poor development of the characters; and the worse, this lack of information of the characters is part of the predictable plot point. The unknown Annie Sorell is completely miscast in the role of a teenager since she is certainly twenty and something years old. The same happens to Eliza Swenson. The conclusion is terrible, with many deaths without any consequence. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Jogos Satânicos" ("Satanic Games")

Forgettable straight-to-DVD horror nonsense.

[BA_Harrison · 4/10 · 17 October 2016]

Amnesiac car crash survivor Michelle (Annie Sorell) undergoes reconstructive surgery on her face (as performed by 79 year old Angus Scrimm of Phantasm fame), after which she is sent to a halfway house for troubled teens (despite appearing to be at least in her late twenties); there she attempts to piece together her past with the help of her journal. What Michelle discovers in the pages of her notebook is a disturbing fascination with the Satanic arts, and when those around her begin to turn up dead, she looks to be the prime suspect. Jeffrey Combs plays the police detective who investigates.

Top billed horror legends Angus Scrimm and Jeffrey Combs (Reanimator) are completely wasted in this film, their roles amounting to nothing more than cameos, neither adding much to the plot. With pedestrian direction, cheap cinematography, crappy editing, unexceptional performances from the less seasoned members of the cast, zero scares, lacklustre gore, and a really dumb twist, about all there is to hold the viewer's interest is some brief gratuitous female nudity: Eliza Swenson as bad girl Dalia gets topless, a nameless blonde also flashes her thrupennies, while Sorell goes the whole hog for the film's obligatory shower scene, where the actress gets to show the viewer both sides of her character: front and back.

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

[tsutter-1 · 2/10 · 15 June 2006]

Utterly incoherent storyline, character development that does absolutely nothing, and awful acting. There is absolutely no reason to see this movie unless you're into sadism and masochism.

It starts off with a kid and her father in a car wreck, followed by horrible CGI, terribly fake stage setting, and giving the appearance that the movie might actually be interesting. Next scene, she's in the hospital, after having a miraculous recovery and facial rebuilding.

She ends up in some kind of foster home for troubled kids, and it doesn't really do anything from there. At all. Nothing. The first 3/4 of the movie is "character development" that does nothing, and the last 1/4 is exposition galore that also, surprisingly, does nothing.

Stale, emotionless acting, one of the most predictable and cliché endings to anything I've seen in awhile, and an incredibly weak - almost non-existent - plot kill this movie. There are absolutely no redeeming qualities to this movie aside from the random nude shots, and even those are boring.

2/10

Classic Los Angeles B movie crapola from hell

[dilbertsuperman · 2/10 · 5 April 2006]

Woooaah Nelly!!! Talk about a cinematic suckfest! This movie blows. Wait it sucks. Damn, I can't decide which it does more but it's very very poor quality crap that barely qualifies for the status of being an actual movie.

If you are in an UBER stupid mood you can sit through this just to watch a dumb movie. It's pretty incredibly lame w special effects and it's absolutely the most unbelievable acting ever. If you don't mind a so bad that it's kinda good in a retarded way- you can add this to your roster of crap to half pay attention to sometime. However- if you are looking for a decent horror movie keep walkin' buddy, nothing to see here.. nothing to see here.

A few things to show you how dumb this movie is- some scenes of the bandaged face are bandages, others are a hard mask that is obviously different yet both are supposed to represent the same thing- which is pathetic.

Right in line with the production quality of the rest of this worthless dog.

The lead girl is pretty curvy though. One yum to that.

Complete crap, an insult to Jeffrey Combs & Angus Scrimm.

[sales-462 · 1/10 · 10 April 2006]

I would rather see Herbert west versus the tall man.

This is stupid. I'll give you 10 reasons:

1. The star of the movie (as stated in the opening credits "Starring Jeffrey Combs" first) is in the movie less then 10 minutes total. (I'm glad because Jeffrey Combs deserves much better then this).

2. The movie also states that Angus Scrimm has a cameo appearance, which he was in it more then Jeffrey Combs, who is the star, which makes no sense.

3. The Lady playing the mother, I don't think she was acting. I think she was drunk, and wanted a bon-bon. They probably paid her in bon-bons.

4. The main actress doesn't belong in a movie. Anyone who falls down on a card board box for no reason and cries "I killed them" doesn't need to be in a movie. They need to be in a circus. This lady must of got this part for the promises of becoming famous in exchange for personal favors.

5. There are about 2 good special effects, and they were good. The part where it spells out the name DIE was extremely fast! It was much cooler then the rest of the movie, so was the split second of a flying skull stone. But if thats the best a movie has to offer....

6. What is the point of connecting the ladies high heel and the guys eye? 7. Driving Miss Daisy is a faster paced movie. The cover is misleading! Don't buy the hype, the picture of monster on the backside is one quick scene. There is never an eye on a pentagram like the cover shows, and Jeffrey Combs & Angus Scrimm played small rolls.

8. The actor playing Larry who is the best actor of these no names, is killed off for some reason.

9. The foster dad smokes herb and laughs at a movie of people being killed on TV. The evil satanic witch demon child has a sack of herbs in her room. This kind of approach reminds me of Reefer Madness, and wasn't even appropriate in the 60's.

10. The main action of this movie consists of smacking someone up side the head with a plastic toy skull stone in the name of demons.

This is what happens when fans of movies like Reanimator and Phantasm don't push hard enough for sequels. Bring a phantasm 5 or a re-animator 4, or make um battle...

Never put Angus scrimm and Jeffrey combs in a stupid movie like satanic again! Whoever made this movie needs to be reanimated and phantasm ball in face over and over.

Bbbboooooooooyyyyyy was this a bad movie

[movieman_kev · 2/10 · 2 June 2013]

A hodgepodge mess of a film that has no spark, life's and dull and most damningly wastes the talents of not one, but two horror movie mainstays. Jeffrey Combs has a minuscule part, and thus, as wasted on the movie as he is, he gets off lighter then poor Angus Scrimm who has a bigger part in this fiasco. I spent much of the film merely feeling bad for him.

Michelle, disfigured from a car accident gets partial amnesia as well as a reconstructed face before going to her new life in a halfway-house where a murder lurks. The twist is so god-awful but it fits with the rest of the movie, if only in that the rest of the film is awful as well.

Boring none event of a horror film.

[poolandrews · 3/10 · 7 December 2008]

Satanic starts as teenager Michelle (Annie Sorell) wakes up in hospital with amnesia & her face completely bandaged up, surgeon Doctor Barbary (Angus Scrimm) tells Michelle she was involved in a horrific car accident that has left her with no face, no memory of who she is or was & her father (George Tovar) dead. Barbary says to Michelle that he can recreate her face with the use of family photo's & that nobody will ever be able to tell the difference which he does with amazing success, with both her parents dead & memory loss Michelle is placed into Harmony House a halfway stop for troubled teens run by Bisson (Rick Dean) & his wife Jackie (Diane Goldner). Once there Michelle tries to regain her memory & find out who she is but terrifying nightmares & a constant feeling something is wrong means Michelle doesn't settle & when her fellow troubled teens start to turn up dead there appears to be more to Michelle & her past than everyone first thought...

Sitting down to watch the very bland, mundane & generically titled Satanic last night I had never heard of it before, I didn't know what it was about & my hopes were not too hight but seeing genre favourite & fine actor Jeffrey Combs name appear during the credits peaked my interest a bit although one has to say that Satanic can be summed up quite nicely by saying Combs is the best aspect of it yet he has nothing more than a cameo that last's for no more than five minutes which he probably shot in half a day. Co-produced & directed by Dan Golden I would describe Satanic as a supernatural thriller that isn't very supernatural apart from some rubbish about a Ouija board & definitely isn't very thrilling due to it's snail like pace. I suppose whether you will like Satanic will depend on how good you find the twist ending, I must admit it did wake me up a bit & the basic concept is actually solid but like the rest of the film it's done in such a poor, cheap, lifeless & lethargic way that it doesn't have the impact that it should. The main problem with Satanic is that the first seventy odd minutes is nothing more than a really boring build-up to the twist which feels like it goes on forever, this might have worked better as a shorter, sharper thirty odd minutes Tales from the Crypt (1989 - 1996) style horror anthology episode. Look, more or less nothing happens for over an hour & then it tries to pack in a twist & becomes some sort of teen slasher in the final twenty odd minutes.

Apparently this had the working title Demon Board & the whole film looks pretty cheap throughout, even the supposed halfway house just looks like an ordinary house. There's not that much horror here, there's not much gore either. There's a burnt face, someone's wrist's are slashed, a couple of dead bodies are seen with a bit of blood splatter but nothing to write home about.

With a supposed budget of about $120,000 Satanic looks as low budget as it was apparently was. I would suspect that a bit of that budget was spent on a couple of familiar genre faces with Jeffrey Combs (who needs a new agent) & Angus Scrimm who is probably best know to horror fans as the Tall Man from the Phantasm series of flicks.

Satanic is a rather dull, forgettable & boring film that doesn't really have anything going for it apart from a couple of cameo's from genre favourites & a reasonable twist ending that could have been the films saving grace if it had been done properly. Not good.

The script's not the problem, for a change

[HEFILM · 5/10 · 26 February 2007]

Very uneven lowish production values hurt, but there are some good ideas in the script and the Combs and Scrimm are fine in basically not much roles,probably lured by director Dan Golden's knowing them than by the material, though both have been in worse roles in worse movies. James Russo's part is almost as "big" but as Combs but they didn't have the guts to claim he stars in the movie. However using Combs name first on the box is exploitation in the worst sense he's barely in the movie. Scrimm has a bigger but ultimately no pay off role. Movie is about OUJA board more than anything Satanic other than the credit sequence in lava-hell landscape.

So what's really bad about the movie is a slapdash editing and really crappy sound job and lousy music score that lifts a "cut to commercial" music signature bit from Charlie's Angels.

Also the principal cast is pretty bad and much post production re-dubbing of voices sounds like it was done by one actor impersonating the the cast rather poorly. And if those are the actors voices, almost impossible, but if those are then the post production sound is even worse than I'm giving it "credit" for.

The occasional crappy sets and pretty bad make-up further drag this down into the dumps. Some okay ideas from director Golden but usually defeated by one problem or another. But in the shameful hall of Lionsgate "pick up" movies this is for the most part not a total rip off, if you can overlook the sloppy editing. Sometimes shots linger just long enough to make you chuckle at a odd performance or a not so great effect, that would have been fine if it didn't linger.

Sure it's shot on video, like everything will be soon, quality varies but there is far worse looking stuff out there, but the sound really really tries to bury this one in the ground, lousy demon voices and that music score, it's like, well how can I say, bad.

An insult to the word "Satanic"

[Stevieboy666 · 3/10 · 22 June 2018]

I usually start my reviews with a brief synopsis but I really can't be bothered with this one. Since I was a kid I've had an interest in the occult, especially the darker side, so when I saw this DVD going cheap it instantly grabbed my attention. But instead of getting Black Masses we just get some goth chick with an evil looking Ouija board and one of the worst demons I've ever had the misfortune to see, some bad actor in a crappy rubber suit and dubbed with one of those awful "demonic" voices! The plot is rubbish, as is most of the acting. The ONLY 2 reasons why I have generously scored this 3 out of 10 instead of 2 is: firstly, the presence of horror legends Angus Scrimm and Jeffrey Combs (really just a cameo, pointless one at that); secondly, there is some brief but welcome nudity, in particular a short but very nice shower scene (I'm sure a body double was employed). Looking at the other reviews, one stands out - 9/10 by Horror Geek, who coincidently reviewed this when the movie came out & is his/hers only imdb review! Avoid!

Angus Scrimm's and Jeffrey Combs' best movie!!!

[loxnbagels · 9/10 · 3 August 2006]

Wow!!! This was without a doubt Angus Scrimm's (tall man from Phantasm) best work since the first Phantasm film as well as, Jeffrey Comb's best and must nuttiest performance since the original Re-Animater film. Scrimm plays a deranged doctor who unknowingly finds himself in the middle of a Satanic mystery involving a Ouija board (NEVER SEEN A OUIJA BOARD THIS SATANIC!!!). Jeffrey Combs plays the role of an over-rambunctious cop who is trying to get to the bottom of a case of grizzly, deranged murders that he believes involves the board and an ominous set of twins who find themselves in the confines of a Juvenile delinquent half-way house.

I highly recommend this film as it's in the vein of "The Omen," and definitely adds a new twist to the horror genre that I think Horror fans will absolutely go crazy over. IF YOU'RE A HORROR GEEK LIKE I AM, GO RENT AND OR BUY THIS ASAP!!!

Better than most direct to video, but still shaky

[iarepacman · 6/10 · 20 April 2006]

This one was better than most of the dreck going direct to video these days, decent actors with a few nice genre cameos, some good one-liners, interesting story, above average make-up fx, and two very hot naked women. The problem, is the gaping plot holes the movie uses to establish its major and predictable twist. I thought the film was going to be along the lines of "Stay", but it was more like a sloppily rendered Fight Club. The primary twist that would make even M Knight Shymalan wretch is based on the fact that apparently we live in a world where medical and police staff don't take fingerprints of unrecognizable patients with no ID, and also that a magical technology to rebuild a skull from scratch, lay skin and muscle over it, and not have a single scar exists. If you can get past these two ENORMOUS plot holes, then the movie is enjoyable.

See another movie...

[BioChemical-Code · 1/10 · 9 April 2006]

This film was so incredibly worthless... I'm sorry but I've seen better actors in pornographic movies.

They list is as a horror movie, well... at least that's true in one aspect. It's a real horror to see it, to waste time on it. Save yourself the time and money, movies like this you should get paid for to see.

I can't think of any positive comment on this film. The story was dull, acting was really bad, i even noticed the way they filmed it, the light was just, wrong. Hard to explain. There was no feeling or soul in this film at all.

Don't see it. It's not even a B movie, it's a pain

Terrible, it hurt my brain

[Neoporcupine · 1/10 · 3 April 2006]

This movie has it all: terrible acting, cinematography, scripting and so on. Simply painful to watch. The actors appear to be freshly from an under-funded over-acting school for over-30s who want to portray under-20s. Annie Sorell (Michelle) was particularly guilty here.

Eliza Swenson obviously wants to be a great actor and apparently attempted to model her role on Angelina Jolie in Girl Interrupted. But falls miserably short, possibly because the role doesn't have much face time, but more likely a lack of talent.

It was interesting to see the character "Commander Shran" from Star Trek Enterprise playing the role of detective here. Strange looking man - makes it obvious why he fits the role of blue painted alien so well. (No he isn't a blue alien here, that was his better suited role in Star Trek)

There is way to much exposition; characters sitting there explaining or telling long stories when a nice little flash back or story scene would have been great. Instead we are given two mediocre unenthusiastic actors giving a recount of unnecessary detail. The editor must have been on holiday.

The frights aren't frightening. The horror isn't horrible. Suspense is never built. Even the nude scenes aren't enough to save it. However this is an excellent movie for film students to see how a bad movie is made.

Bleh, waste of time.

Time to Re-Animate Jeffrey Combs' career!

[Coventry · 3/10 · 27 May 2007]

One of the most pathetic and deceitful things a movie producer can do is promote his/her crap film by exploiting the name of a famous and extremely popular veteran actor and then subsequently only cast the popular veteran actor in a role that isn't much larger than a cameo appearance. Jeffrey Combs is incredibly popular among horror fans – mainly for his role of the demented Dr. West in the "Re-Animator" films – and he's one of the most regular & prominent actors active in the genre, so linking his name to a new film is guaranteed to attract more viewers. Combs' name is the first on the DVD-cover and the first one to be displayed during the opening credits, yet all together he only appears on screen for approximately three minutes of playtime in total! That's quite frustrating, especially because many people (myself included) probably feared already that "Satanic" would suck tremendously and hoped that Combs' performance would be the only worthwhile element. I just hope this isn't saying anything about Jeffrey Combs' career being in trouble or something. It's easy money, of course, but let's hope his career does not depend on paychecks like this. "Satanic" certainly isn't the worst horror film I ever saw, but it's dreadfully boring and the acting performances are incompetent beyond imagination. The basic concept of the film is somewhat intriguing, and admittedly I was pleasantly surprised by the end-twist, but the low-budget elaboration is very poor and amateurish. Following a disastrous car-accident, Michelle wakes up in a hospital and can't remember a single thing about her past and family situation. She carries around an eerie kind of Ouija-board soon suffers from nightmares in which her dead father comes to ask her bizarre questions regarding events that took place before the accident. Michelle is then moved from the hospital to a home for troubled teenagers where her tainted pas slowly gets unraveled. "Satanic" severely drags in places and none of the characters actually manages to say their lines properly. Especially James Russo and Diane Goldner are both horrible as the obnoxious owners of the Harmony House; the place where Michelle is sent after her treatment at the hospital. There's very little gore and bloodshed on display and most of the murders are incomprehensibly committed off screen. There's some hot female nudity and – as said – the denouement is admirable, but overall "Satanic" nearly isn't good or memorable enough to get a recommendation.

Terrible

[bloodyglass · 1/10 · 18 February 2007]

This movie is terrible. The sound effects were also really bad and sounded quite cheap.

The acting is so terrible, the father was really cheesy and unconvincing.

Dahlia was annoying and didn't fit her character. I can't believe i wasted 1:32 minutes of my life watching this piece of crap. I hope that the director rethinks making another movie. This piece of crap has cheesy camera angles and a terrible lead actress who by the way is hideous which is irrelevant but i still felt it needed to be said. Never again will i watch any movie directed by this awful director.

NOT worth the time

[SlayerCommaThe · 1/10 · 6 April 2006]

I agree with the previous poster's assessment of this movie, plus I'd like to say that I don't even have the added interest of seeing some of these other actors that I knew before like she did. This movie was very poorly written and very poorly acted, with cheesy effects (which I usually love) and directing. At one point one of the characters actually refers to a she as a "he" and they either didn't catch it in editing, or just didn't care. Either way, it's truly not worth the time, money or effort to bother renting it, unless you're in a film class or something that watches movies like this on purpose so you can pick apart everything wrong about it.

Disposable Film, A Waste of Jeffrey Combs' Talent

[gavin6942 · 4/10 · 25 November 2006]

A teenage girl (who appears to be 30) is in a nasty car accident, loses her memory, and is placed in Harmony House with other "problem kids" where she begins to recall a past riddled with Satanic imagery and Ouija board fun.

This film is truly awful. The opening scene is ruined by a horrible actor who reappears multiple times throughout the film, repeating the same lines (variations of "what did you do, Michelle?") and coming across as the worst actor in history. His presence, along with the way the director felt the need to splice his scenes in, really killed any hope this movie had of being good.

Also, the film really drags. The same things happen over and over again. The flashbacks get on my nerves like you wouldn't believe, and even in the later parts of the film where the mystery begins to make sense, it's really stupid and tedious.

I really wanted to like this film. It has horror movie legend Angus Scrimm, as well as icons Jeffrey Combs (one of my idols) and James Russo (who coincidentally also co-star in "Blackwater Valley Exorcism", see separate review). It has a shower scene and one of the hottest girls in horror history getting it on. And two teenage boys who I thought were pretty funny, arguing over a video game in what I could only describe as 1980s Atari commercial style. Yet, it fails miserably.

Scrimm is okay, and Combs does fairly well as the detective (and why wouldn't he?). But neither has a role with much depth or range. Combs first appears in a scene where he has maybe two lines and 30 seconds of screen time, and I was quite worried they had used him just to put his name on the cover. While I still suspect this, at least he returned later on for another few minutes. Who are these people casting horror icons in such pointless roles?

There is no reason to see this film. While not as bad as the film "Nine Lives" I subjected myself to recently, it certainly ranks as one of the most worthless of 2006. With this influx of straight-to-video horror I've been coming across lately, I expect a lot of crap... but seriously, who are the people greenlighting these projects? Is this the time for me to make a directorial debut?

it's not satanic ... it's witchcraft

[mustjubeh · 2/10 · 18 February 2008]

I usually look to IMDb first before watching any movie ... but even so i watched it ... thinking that it might be a good movie even that most of the comments which are saying that this is a crappy movie ... and hell ya ... it is a crappy movie for many reasons ... which I'll add one thing to the listed reasons ..

what's the connection between the name of the movie and the movie itself! ... nothing there is no satanic things at all ... it's paganism, Wicca and/or witchcraft ... even the pentagram is a witchcraft pentagram not satanic pentagram .. for those who don't know the differences ... the satanic use a pentagram with two points up and the witchcraft use a pentagram with one points up-as the pentagram used in the movie

Inept and sorry

[loomis78-815-989034 · 1/10 · 24 May 2014]

After a car crash which kills her father, Michelle (Sorell) wakes up in a hospital with amnesia. Dr. Barbary (Scrimm) informs her that she has months of reconstruction surgery ahead of her. Once she recovers, Michelle is sent to a place called Harmony House a place for troubled teens. Jackie (Diane Ayala Goldner) and Bisson (Rick Dean) runs the house and are clearly stealing from the few teens who are residing there. To make matters worse they are also inept as counselors. Michelle finds herself with a satanic Ouija board and a diary she can't make heads or tails out of. When fellow teens begin to die, the sleepwalking detective played by top billed Jeffrey Combs is called in to investigate and collect a paycheck. This sad, sad movie is tedious and stupid a mere five minutes into the running time and doesn't get any better. Annie Sorell looking around 29 years old is playing the teen and Scrimm and Combs are in it for the money. At least Scrimm isn't as obvious about it as Combs mailed in performance is. The dialog is pitiful, the acting wooden and the direction stale. C'mon, you know this movie. It's the one with too many flashbacks, burned up demons talking in hokey demon dialect, a twist ending you see coming 45 minutes ahead of time and no scares or jumps anywhere to be found. This gives straight to DVD features a bad name.

Not too bad.

[ghost-9 · 7/10 · 4 June 2006]

I liked this DVD and feel like it is better than people are giving it credit for. Not a bad story, the acting is fine and the effects are brief but well done. Nothing special here but better than most straight-to-video horror features. The couple that runs the halfway house are a hoot and unfortunately a fairly realistic duo. I found a few laugh-out-loud moments in the video and the catch at the end which I can't reveal here mirrors a recent real-life event. Wonderful to see horror greats Jeffery Combs and Angus Scrimm in this. Would love to see them in more horror movies. They are under-used here but still do a great job in their roles.