"Yes, Keloglan you may be bald but you're a human being." The film I am reviewing today, from of which holds both places on IMDb's Bottom lists, is Turkish. And 'Keloglan vs. The Black Prince', of which is supposed to be a spoof comedy, is a bad one at that. But you have to give props to the director and actors for at least attempting to tell a legitimate story while spoofing a variety of fairy tales. Though 'Keloglan' is modeled roughly from the zany antics and anything-goes momentum concerning any movies done by Zucker-Abrams-Zucker, (or, in IMDb Bottom 100 terms Seltzer- Friedberg style), it is actually the first Turkish film and comedy that I have ever seen before. I have no idea how this film compares to other Turkish comedies or rather what Turkish people find amusing regarding cinema. Contemporary Turkish cinema produces twenty to thirty movies every year, not counting straight-to-video or episodes from television shows. (This movie apparently got a release in the Netherlands, but that's about it.) I couldn't even find a Wikipedia page on this movie, and on IMDb the synopsis for this fiction-based flick simply states: 'Keloglan fights the black prince to serve justice'. Holding a 1.8 rating out of 10, how does this foreign fractured fantasy farce hold to an American spoof comedy? Let's take a look.
We first see our main character named Sirmaoglan (Mehmet Ali Erbil), of whom is generally the lead in the other half of Turkish movies worth skipping due to his lack of comedic talent. He apparently has a following of whom enjoy watching his torturous TV shows of which he hosts. Here he plays a middle-aged man making his way before the court of the Sultan and the queen by dancing with a procession of beautiful women servants. The Sultan (Turkish actress and comedian Aysen Gruda) and the queen have, after much thought, summoned Sirmaoglan to tell him that they want to give their daughter Princess Cankiz (Petek Dinçöz) to him in marriage, because there is no one more handsome, charismatic and with such beautiful hair such as his. Yes, Sirmaoglan is Turkish for Goldilocks, in all of his thick, wavy and flowing, flaxen follicles (obviously a wig). The Black Prince and obvious antagonist (Özcan Deniz, of whom I gather is quite the Turkish heartthrob), plots to eventually foil Sirmaoglan's plans. Four years later, we fade and again see Sirmaoglan, now under the moniker of Keloglan (roughly translating to 'bald boy) due to an encounter with a poorly-animated CGI dragon in trying to save a princess those years ago of which had scorched his scalp. He is suicidal, no longer seeking the will to live on without his sunny tresses, having only now a flute to his name. He and his friend Cankusoglu (Bülent Polat) both head off to the Sultan. Once arriving, he gives them a new task: to bring to him the belt from the waist of a giant for his daughter's hand, as well promising one hundred bags of gold. Meanwhile the Black Prince, stands at the head of a table of villains. He wants to conduct a tale where the bad guys are the main characters, getting the praise in the end due. And this came out a year before 'Shrek the Third'. We then cut to a peasant girl and the film's love interest Balkiz (Ahu Türkpençe), washing her clothes and her lustful-looking lingerie in a river alongside other young women. We then learn that she secretly loves Keloglan. She wants to attend him and his friend on their sojourn, but he calmly dismisses her, saying how he still only wants to die as he rides off on his donkey. Balkiz, later incognito as a mustachioed lad named Tüysüzoglan (no hair), appears and tells them that he would like to join them if he can assist them in their direction. Oblivious, they allow this as the trio go off on their quest. Near the conclusion, Keloglan actually grows some...hair that is, as a couple strands of it finally emerge from his follicle-challenged chrome dome after his duel with the Black Prince post crashing his wedding. Ecstatic, he resorts back to his original name as the film ends in a Turkish/Bollywood- esque dance number to Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive'...sung in Turkish.
Writer-director Tayfun Güneyer relies heavily on anachronism-based humor the Seltzer-Friedberg team purloined from comic legend Mel Brooks, but goes light on the gross-out. Comedy rehashed from comedy rehashed from comedy is repetitive and not only gets old really fast but is old and unfunny already when taken from the source material and their unfunny predecessors even before that of which, as the final result, never provided the least bit of levity to begin with. There are sporadic instances in the film that were somewhat worthy of a smile, being its redeeming quality, with moments when the Black Prince goes through his airport metal detector in his castle already late for a meeting to a river dancing Robin Hood (Alp Kirsan) and his Merry Men (an obvious Brooks reference). The funniest part when our trio of heroes boil a genie alive in his own magic lamp, unknowingly mistaking it for a random teapot during a rest stop.
From paying homage to Shakespeare's 'Twelfth Night' to 'Taxi Driver', this isn't the worst spoof I've ever seen, but my first foreign one at that. The humor isn't cutting edge, but I can see kids getting a laugh out of it. Though 'Keloglan' was made a decade ago, it still wasn't as mind- numbing vacuous as American spoof comedies were during 2006 ('Date Movie' for example) and for those even made today. Mind you this is only the first of a handful of Turkish turkeys on both of the IMDb Bottom lists that I have still yet to review. Why couldn't I have just watched 'Yol'?
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