Soccer Dog: European Cup (2004) User Reviews

I'd like to apologize on behalf of America

[underdog8 · 2/10 · 20 March 2007]

... for this utter rubbish, as someone else aptly put it. So sorry. The only reason I gave it a two is because the dog is fairly cute and shouldn't be judged harshly for appearing in this abomination. As a soccer playing American with Scottish friends I know both a) soccer, and b) Scots, and it's obvious the makers of this "film for (very slow) children" had no clue about either, nor about casting, nor about writing, nor about film production. It's a real dog. Makes the Air Bud movies look like Orson Welles - those films were fairly bad too but at least they had a structure, and didn't rely as much on stereotypes.

Spare your kids this one.

This dog needs his balls deflated.

[ArmandTanzarian · 2/10 · 4 December 2007]

My 7 yr old is football (not 'soccer') mad and was thoroughly disappointed with this terrible, terrible film. This film was made by people with no knowledge at all of football- the 'European Cup' is a charity match between a village team of the usual 'oddballs and misfits' and implausibly a team called 'London' with the biggest football star in the country in it. The representation of Scotland is equally inaccurate - from the accents it seems to be populated by mainly Irish and Welsh, kilts are everywhere and everyone eats Haggis at football games and have never heard of pizza.

The dog kicks a cartoonish looking CGI football around but probably the saddest thing is Nick Moran, who has descended from 'Lock, Stock..' to this. Strangely, on the DVD bonus feature cast interviews, Eastender Moran affects a Scottish accent and says that he'd never acted before this film! How ashamed of this film must he be to try to pretend to be someone else! Even the rest of the cast are joking and making ironic comments about how crap this film is. Anyway, if your kids love football, they will be bored by this. If your kids love animals they will be bored by this.

Go and watch a dog chase a ball around the park instead.

This film is a joke, therefor I'm making a joke:

[Jackrogalla · 2/10 · 7 January 2014]

This film is simply one of the best masterpieces of film since Jesus Christ's performance in The Passion of the Christ. I give two paws up for this cute little movie staring Nick Moran, more popular for his performance as Scabior in the Happy Potter films and Jake Thomas, more popular for his performance as Matt McGuire in the Lizzie McGuire television show and movie. This film is great for the whole family and will have you and your young pups just begging for more! This is a heartwarming tail about a boy who's mother died and is taken to his biological father who didn't even knew he had a son and their arfventure together. You'll roll over laughing at the silly characters on Nick's soccer team who have a terrible losing streak. But when the great soccer dog comes, created by a scientist to have an incredibly high I.Q., then make a come back and play against the greatest team in London! But when they are on break, the scientist steals soccer dog and ensues one heart pounding car chase down the road. The most surprising moment is near the end, one of the players gets injured and so the kid himself has to fill in! What a surprise! But when he wins a goal, the best player form the other team beats him, literally to the ground, and gets red flaged and the crowd humorously throws haggis at him! With out him soccer dog's team wins the match! Overall it will make you laugh, cry, and bark right along with the relateable characters. Through dealing with bullies, learning cultural differences, and family bonds this film has all the requirements to call it a classic that will go down in history. (This is a joke review)

Poor basically

[blair_30 · 1/10 · 25 June 2006]

I have never seen a more stereotypical movie towards Scottish people in my life.

Firstly the "attempted" accents put on by the cast members is atrocious. Why make a movie set in Scotland and not have a single Scottish actor? Why is everyone wearing kilts? No one in Scotland wears kilts! unless at weddings etc NOT TO FOOTBALL GAMES!! And also there isn't a guy going around selling haggis... we do eat normal food BTW!! And even at that the HAGGIS! What the woman was eating looked nothing like haggis.. more like some kind of mashed potato goop. I think the director should try to know a little about something before involving it in the movie, instead of just assuming what a typical Scottish person looks or sounds like or the food they eat.

Finally I am confused to the name of the movie.. Why is it European Cup? Europe is a big place... would it not make more sense to call it Scottish? And cup? I didn't see any cup. I saw a poorly constructed game of football with a referee very biased towards the "good guys" ( i mean did you not see the guy head butt the other one? a sure red card and 5 match ban no? or do you Americans play the game differently?).

I'm not even going to start on the dog.

Disgraceful

[awest-9 · 1/10 · 25 June 2006]

This movie is a total disgrace the research must have been zero as it is full of terrible mistakes and is clearly filmed in the USA by someone who does not even know what Scotland looks like

As a scot it made me extremely angry as to how we were portrayed in this bargain bin rubbish

The accents are terrible, They didn't even bother to put UK number plates on the cars in the film whilst I accept the film is a light hearted kids movie, they should realise we are not all kilt wearing long haired Mel Gibson look a likes Time for the director and producers of this junk to spend a little time on research

You should be ashamed of yourselves

[robert-william-cumming · 1/10 · 8 August 2009]

All involved should be ashamed. This film is poorly made, badly executed and can only perpetuate the belief that Americans are ignorant of anywhere outside the US.

Tip to Hollywood: when basing a film outside the US, use local actors and try and actually visit and film in the place; that way there is a possibility that you will never recreate a film as poor and woefully inaccurate as this.

A dreadful experience.

Oh dear.

Terrible.

Referee - red card surely!!!

[orrett-1 · 1/10 · 23 October 2004]

Give this the swerve, American dross at its finest. Shot in a fictitious Scottish town in California. The special effects, story and cinematography are appalling. The actors are plastic and the only good thing about this film is that it does end. This sort of production takes me back to when VHS videos first came out and companies sneaked titles passed the unsuspecting viewer by dollying up the jacket details. I never normally get a film unless I've seen a few reviews or had a recommendation but with the kids tugging at my shirt and a cursory glance at "Scottish" and "Soccer" I was duped.

Seriously folks this has to go in the worst 100 bin just next to Wimbledon :O)

Utter, utter shite

[allancastle · 1/10 · 18 November 2006]

My six year old fell asleep. This is some kind of weird combination of ineptitude, cynicism and laziness. Plot nearly non-existent. "Plucky yank" kid faces off against fat Californian kids pretending to be Scots/Welsh/whatever... His natural father has some love interest in an American lawyer. The eponymous dog gets about 60 seconds in the movie because I suppose the cheap-ass CGI effects budget allowed for no more. The dog is given a name in the movie about ten minutes after the cast begin referring to him by his name. The locations are laughably not Scotland. Even the light is wrong. Sadly, though, not in the same league as kitschy bad movies like Puma Man in that it never rises above tedious and stupid long enough to be amusing.

Like the Bad News Bears meets Lassie meets Local Hero, but put together by a grade 10 weekend film project team who have bust open their parents' booze cupboard.

I suppose it might have become interesting if the latter stages of the movie led to torrid romance etc. but who knows because no-one in our house between 2 and 43 could stand to watch the whole movie.

Simply Pathetic Movie

[stej01 · 2/10 · 11 May 2013]

You can tell the actors in the movie have potential. The comedy value of the Scottish team is humorous, and they all do try. It's just a shame the writer, director, and pretty much everyone else involved in the movie has no talent at all.

One minute in and Possibly the worst CGI I have ever seen in a high budget movie ever. Followed then by some hideous accents, some horribly cliché story lines (struggle between newly met dad and son, old wise monologue that changes the plot, negative sad moment in last third), horrifying stereotypes (yeah, Scottish people have no idea what pizza is, and Londoners say cheerful and eat scones and talk about the queen; I was surprised that there were no bad teeth jokes), awful camera angles of chasing a dog, and a random green-screen where the crew forgot to film two shots, stupidly, but the bit that got me is one line. "paparazzi haven't had this much fun since the Prime Minister woke up naked in the monkey enclosure." This gag must have been created by the writer's children, obviously.

This movie didn't even feature the dog that much, which is strange considering the name of the film.

And I said whilst watching the movie "I bet there's some desperate love interest toward the end" ...there was. Like a sentence-worth.

Oh, and the soundtrack was both generic and boring. Random music, and a horrible attempt at finding a song with the word 'dog' in it. The only saving grace is that they didn't choose 'Who Let The Dogs Out'... Though they probably used it already in the first movie (finding THAT out was Mindblow in itself.)

very boring

[billylady1995-1 · 1/10 · 26 June 2008]

i watched this movie a few hours ago and i thought it was awful. whats up with the stupid cgi soccer ball, the plot was stupid and it was so predictable so if your planing on seeing this movie Don't! IT WAS BAD i feel bad for the actors because involved because they din't do anything wrong to deserve this.id rather kiss a toilet seat then watch this peace of crap what the heck were they thinking my god just to let you know i dint see this whole movie i watch 30 minutes and i din't see the ending but predicted that it would end like all the other cheasy sports movies end the worst team plays the best team and the bad teams wins but in this movie it happens to be because the dog is a super hero! the end

Simply breathtaking.

[coombs_james · 9/10 · 3 April 2008]

The film is perhaps the worst film i have witnessed ever. Yes it is a kids movie but how outrageously stupid do they think children are? The plot is awful, a sprawled mess of a motherless kid, with the director trying to force an angle of some dog up to its eyes on drugs.

The accents are horrifically bad, being English and receiving many phone calls from call centres around this fine land, i understand what the average Scottish man should sound like. Even if some of them were Scottish i failed to realise it, and most of the time i cringed at how shoddy the accents were.

However, this criticism is paled into insignificance as the actual acting of the cast can only be described as shocking. The actor playing "Zach" will look back at this film and probably run into an abattoir. However, to fully understand the acting at its peak, you must really watch this film.

The "Braveheart" character is perhaps the single most annoying thing i have ever come across. The actor is unfunny, poor and at some points down right racist to both the Scottish and the English. Baring in mind that most children around "Zach"'s age would never have seen Gibson's 'masterpiece', and many children do not understand the wars from the early medieval times it was ridiculous to start assuming that they understood what was meant by calling English people "long shanks".

The thing that really does grind everyones gears is poor CG animation. If your going to have it, use it well. If your on a low budget use it wisely and effectively. The director here seems to have splashed out on trying to use as much CG as possible probably using a child with Parkinson's disease to draw. The lines are poor, the graphics are poor, when the ball is animated for the dog, it just isn't right.

Perhaps the only redeeming feature of the film is that all these factors combined make for perhaps the funniest nights of your life. The amount of poor edits, blind rejections of common sense with no research into either Scottish or English lifestyles, laughable acting and just a downright poor plot force you to have a good laugh at the Americans. Mocking this film and the actors for just £3 from ASDA was such a good move.

It's like watching Brazil

[boldkingcole-62-83698 · 10/10 · 25 July 2014]

This is a masterpiece of creativity.

They have managed to conjure up a whole movie about a Scottish football team and their talented, genetically modified, canine number 10, without even a rudimentary knowledge of any of those things.

So charming is the film that I'm sure that even the most hard-hearted Scotch people would forgive the odd inaccuracy in the portrayal of Scotch dialect, accent, climate, cuisine, history. Let's be honest, can anyone really differentiate between the Australian, Irish, Bristolian and Scotch accents?

And I'm sure many a tourist must have mistaken the highlands for parts of California, with it's baking sunshine and slim, tanned residents.

I've heard some people question the plausibility of how one charity, grudge map can result in the European cup going to a small village football team. But people forget that this has already happened when the great AC Milan team of 93/94 was forced to give the champion's league trophy to Paul Gasgcoine's uncle, when he beat half the team at arm wrestling in a Yugoslavian dive bar.

Any questions about Nick Moran's acting should be directed to Guy Ritchie, who's strict Shakespearian training will leave a mark on actors long after they have finished working with him. The 6 years between Lock Stock and Soccer Dog, were merely the blink of an eye.

It's a truly wonderful piece of cinema. And the dog is hot

Dog Makes it to the Big Time winning the Champions League Trophy

[KrankorVsPrinceOfSpace · 9/10 · 4 December 2008]

Soccer Dog European Cup claims the football/talented animal coveted trophy for its graphic portrayal of a world gone football mad. Told through the eyes of a beleaguered minor leagues pup, this harrowing but crowd rousing romp runs the entire gamut of emotions, from deflation to euphoria, all within a matter of 90 minutes or more. Nick Moran is a government agent, hired to assassinate a young boy at Her Majesty's wish. In steps Soccer Dog ( Corey ) to inadvertently upset Moran's plans and eventually but completely charmingly bring him 'round to his ( Corey's ) way of thinking. It's at this point where the film goes from a solid 10 down to a disappointing 9 for me, as the love scene between Corey and Moran's character is an unnecessary and spiteful affair. Be that as it may, it is wonderfully lit and doesn't detract too greatly from the pace of the movie. From here on in though, the on pitch action doesn't let up for half time oranges or anything. It's viciously violent in patches and has ingenious moments of hairpin turns when dealing with twists and plot line reversals ( to it's benefit ). The scene with the 2 huge mother ships battling it out for supremacy over the Earth whilst ship debris rains down on the football players below is quite literally breathtaking! Eventually, as in life, all things must pass and whilst the ending is somewhat nihilistic in it's philosophy, it can leave you with a melancholy smidgen of hope for a brighter future for Premier League Football post 2009. Overall: Enjoyable.

Footy film at it's finest

[bgz1900 · 9/10 · 8 May 2010]

Directed by Sandy Tung (??), written by John E. Deaver who may or may not be a gynecologist in Richmond NY and starring Cockney geezer Nick Moran, what could be described as a steaming turd of a movie is in fact a brilliant spoof.

American kid goes to Scotland, befriends a stray mongrel and together they transform the fortunes of a local football team. Probably the greatest film commenting on the state of Scottish football that has ever been written.

I mean how can anyone take this film seriously. Take Nick Moran for example. Two reasons why he shouldn't have appeared in this film. 1)His Scottish accent is laughably poor and 2)He has the football skills that only an American could be impressed with.

Then there's the blatant stereotyping of Scots as haggis eating, kilt wearing, long haired, rotting teethed crap footballers. Now I've met a few Scots in my time and I can safely say that not all of them wear kilts.

Of course any film about Scotland worth it's salt needs to have some sort of battle against the English. So enter the Auld enemy on an open top double decker Routemaster bus that has driven all the way from London which is no doubt just 20 miles away in the eyes of your average American. And what would you call an English football team if you were an American director trying to provoke a reaction from English football fans with no sense of humour too? The London Bangers - Genius! Watch this film and enjoy. Laugh at the special effects of the dog dribbling the ball and cheer as Nick Moran makes a Christiano Ronaldo stepover look like he's hurdling a six foot fence.

Superb.

Poor Zacht

[sasarai2004 · 9/10 · 13 September 2008]

just watched the film two weeks ago... first, i didn't know anything about the plot of the story or what's the conflict between the father and son...

i started watching the film in the middle part, and because i like dogs i watched it till the end... blankly i liked the film(respect opinions), but i didn't give emphasis on the story, rendezvous, and what culture are they portraying in the film that's why i was shocked after reading the comments here saying that the film was not good...

oh well... the dog is cute and i like the boy who portrayed the character of zacht connolly(he's cute ^^,) and i like the way he act and deliver his scripts in the film(i love his accent, i don't care if its not Scottish) maybe being too knowledgeable has an advantage too... because you didn't comment on the acting of the actors and focus mainly on noticing the wrong portrayal of the place, culture, etc...

well anyway... hope I'm not the only one who liked the film...

-i love jake thomas ^^,