Mean Machine (2001) User Reviews

1-0 to the Mean Machine.

[hitchcockthelegend · 7/10 · 30 December 2009]

Mean Machine is an English reworking of Robert Aldrich's 1974 beefcake Burt Reynolds starrer, The Longest Yard. Substituting Gridiron for Soccer, director Barry Skolnick, along with his roll call of British "faces", is only aiming for one market.

That of the footie worshipping clan that primarily resides within the United Kingdom.

Very much a long way from competing on the same playing field as Aldrich's superior movie, Mean Machine does have enough about it to make it an enjoyable viewing outside of the excellently constructed soccer match that fills out the last third of the piece. But with the film's reputation being far from good, the chance that many others feel the same as me are pretty remote. About as remote as Accrington Stanley winning the English Premiere League one feels.

The problem would seem to lay with the first hour, violence and humour thrust together does not always yield great rewards, and so it be with the wet behind the ears direction from Skolnick. Caught between a tough portrayal of British prison life and outright slapstick, it's an odd bedfellow that Skolnick can't quite get right. And with Guy Ritchie on the sidelines donning the "supervising producer" shirt, one can't help thinking that Ritchie would have made substantially more with the material to hand. But as "I" say, there's enough there for the discerning fan of blood and banter.

Led by the watchable Jones, the cast, outside of the miscast David Hemmings as the Governor, pull out the stops to entertain the terrace faithful. Danny Dyer haters will enjoy him getting knocked about as he plays simpleton Billy Limpet, while Jason Statham is a joy as Monk, a Jock that even the Jocks are afraid of. While also putting in scene stealing shifts of note are Jamie Sives, Vas Blackwood and Omid Djalili. It's no piece of work to rank in the higher echelons of British movies - or sports movies in general for that matter. But in spite of its soggy formula and over reliance on the template film it's working from, it's very funny at times, and if you like soccer? Well the actual match is well worth the wait. 7/10

Footnote: The Longest Yard/Mean Machine was met with another re- imaging in 2005 with Adam Sandler as the disgraced lead protagonist. Proof positive that it's either a formula that many can't resist? Or that it's one that some feel still hasn't yet met its potential?

Brilliant final third, and a good Jones, despite the flaws this is an above-average sports/prison drama

[TheLittleSongbird · 7/10 · 26 January 2010]

If sometimes just lacking the creativity and vitality of the 1974 film, this is an above average sports/prison drama. There are some flaws though, one or two of the characters are thinly sketched, the plot is a touch simplistic and the first half hour just lacked the energy of the latter half of the film. That said, this is well worth watching. The whole film is excellently filmed and directed, and the soccer scenes are very well done. The final third is absolutely riveting, and really makes you want to see what the outcome is at the end. The music score is fine, and the performances are very good. Vinnie Jones is convincing in his first leading role, and David Kelly is stellar as the benevolent Doc. The best pieces of casting are (despite the accent) Jason Statham as maverick keeper and Jason Flemying's rather unconventional commentator. In conclusion, this is a good film. 7/10 Bethany Cox

It's A Prison Movie Rather Than A Football Movie

[Theo Robertson · 7/10 · 28 May 2005]

I remember my parents telling me they liked this movie a lot after seeing it on Sky Movies . So what you ask ? Well it turns out my parents absolutely detest football so as entertainment this must have a lot more going for it than just soccer

What becomes clear very early on is that it's not really a sports movie it's a prison movie as former England international Danny Meehan ( Vinnie Jones ) is jailed for three years for assault . To be honest the screenplay exaggerates the English/British penal system somewhat as Danny is assaulted by sadistic screws and rubs shoulders with inmates doing 30 years and meeting Monk who has killed at least 23 people

But who said this was a documentary ? It's entertainment for the masses and it does succeed . It's interesting to note that that this was based on an American movie from the mid 1970s and the Brits have done a far better job adapting this than the Americans did with those two movies that starred Michael Caine and by some irony the only real problem this movie suffers from at a producer level is that it's perhaps a little too parochial , I mean would anyone in America understand what the characters are saying ? And since one of the producers is Guy Ritchie he deserves some congratulations to passing the directing helm to Barry Skolnick and letting him direct his way . Weren't audiences getting tired of people emulating Guy Ritchie's directing style by 2001 ? As it stands we have only a recurring cast from LOCK STOCK AND TWO SMOKING Barrels to suggest Ritchie had much of a hand in it

So congratulations to the producers for making a relatively entertaining and commercial British movie . When I come to think about the idea of re-making a mainly forgotten American movie starring Burt Reynolds seems like a stupid idea but it works . I bet this movie will still be more highly regarded this time than the Hollywood remake THE LONGEST YARD which is released this week

Top class Brit flick!

[graboidinator · 23 January 2004]

You simply cannot put this movie down, a great all British cast and a great all British sport, being British and a great lover of Manchester United, i was up for this film and it didn't diasappoint me in the slightest. Vinnie Jones was brilliant as Danny Meehan and Jason Statham as the 'Monk' was simply classic vintage stuff. The match is what the watchers of this film want to see and it is fantastically constructed, just one tip of advice, don't p*** of the 'Monk'

10/10 stars, classic stuff

Good football film! Apart from First 30 minutes!

[chris.cooper-3 · 6/10 · 3 January 2002]

The Mean Machine starts badly, poor acting, TV movie quality, cheesy storyline and Vinnie Jones very wooden. Every prison movie cliche is there and it is awful for the first thirty minutes.

Then things start going right, Vinnie looks a lot more comfortable and the movie starts to get going and goes from strength to strength with loads of gags and some occasional violence to break things up a bit.

However, what this film is about is Football (Soccer) and what it delivers in so-far as Football action is excellent, I doubt if any film has captured the sport so captivating and also so funny!

I came out of this film happy that I had been well entertained for at least an hour, grit your teeth for the first thirty minutes and then sit back relax and watch some excellent Football action!!!

Pleasant enough British Drama with a great cast.

[MUFCOK · 7/10 · 10 December 2014]

Vinnie Jones plays Danny Meehan, a retired footballer who disgraced his country by cheating an England v Germany football match to win a bet. The movie begins after his retirement with him speeding around town in his sports car, drinking from a bottle of Vodka, being chased by Police. He then proceeds to beat up the Police Officers and needless to say, he gets arrested and sentenced to 3 years behind bars.

In prison he swiftly brought back to reality and reminded that behind bars, he isn't a footballer and the prisoners and guards haven't forgotten what he did in that England v Germany game. Danny Meehan is then ordered to captain the prisoners in a one off football match against the guards.

The best thing about Mean Machine is the cast, if you have watched other British Films around this time you will recognise so many of the supporting actors from films such as Snatch, Lock Stock, Football Factory. Not to mention, Vinnie Jones, Jason Statham, Danny Dyer, David Kelly & David Hemmings! The cast is fantastic but the characters are even better, it has a great mix of different people, serious one, funny ones, stupid ones & of course the prison nutter(i.e. the Monk!).

The Story is of course predictable, it has many cliché moments & it certainly doesn't offer anything new. But it is entertaining! The first half of the movie has quite a serious feel to it, it moves along very fast & doesn't offer much character development. I didn't really feel like I connected with any of the characters , which is a shame as they were so many unique characters involved! The second half of the story, when they start to train for the football match & the coverage of the football match itself is much more light hearted and funny, there are many laugh out loud moments. The coverage of the football match is absolutely fantastic, the best part of the movie by far. Bob & Bob as the commentators are hilarious; football commentators could take a note out of their book! The way the match is filmed is also perfect, a lot of sports films are let down by the camera angles & the speed of the action but in Mean Machine I feel the director got it spot on. You could really see what was happening and I think this was made easier by Bob & Bob! Overall Mean Machine is an entertaining movie but far from perfect in my eyes. I have seen the Adam Sandler – Longest Yard before seeing this and I think that spoiled it for me, it is basically the same story and I had no surprises whilst watching this. The Second half outshines the first by quite a way in my opinion. I feel like they could have offered more in the first half of the movie, Character development, more tension, make you feel for the characters more. As I said before, the football match was brilliant and hilarious and saved this movie for me. This is certainly worth a watch and is entertaining enough to pass the time.

7/10

A Fun Ninety Minutes

[slightlymad22 · 7/10 · 5 December 2014]

As a fan of the original Burt Reynolds movie, I had mixed feelings about this movie. On one side as a traditional football (soccer) fan and not a fan of American football, I though I'd get more enjoyment out of it. On the other side I love the original movie so much it would obviously suffer in comparison, and let's be honest Vinnie Jones is no Burt Reynolds.

Plot In A Paragraph: A disgraced former footballer is sent to jail for three years for drunkenly assaulting a police officer. Once there the Warden wants him to train the guards football team, he refuses, after a while he agrees to play in, and coach a team of cons to play the gaurds in a one off match.

Whilst not as enjoyable as the Burt Reynolds version, it is a lot of fun with Jason Statham stealing the show as The Monk!! While Danny Dyer gets a lot of laughs, likewise Vas Blackwood as Massive and David Kelly is touching as Doc.

Keeping your head up when your world is falling down

[McBaine · 6/10 · 28 December 2001]

When I went to see 'Mean Machine', I could not help but think back to the original version (starring Burt Reynolds, and known as 'The Longest Yard'). I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised at how well the story had been updated.

True, football (Soccer) had replaced American Football, but the story remained the same - how a fallen star gains the respect of those who envy the fact that he had it all and blew it, whilst they never had the chance to be anything other than what they are. Vinnie Jones does a good job of playing 'Danny Meehan', and the supporting cast complements Jones' fallen star - Vas Blackwood, Jason Statham and Jason Fleyming are all convincing as convicts, as well as other SKA Film regulars (you'll recognise them when you see them).

The only (potential) criticism of the film is that one main similarity remains between this version and the original version - what type of film is this? For the first 45 minutes, you could be mistaken for thinking it is a drama. For the last 45 minutes, it may be a comedy. But this in itself is not a strict criticism. Having a varied theme does, on occasion, work in favour of the film - it is versatile enough to allow each character to develop and grow on the viewer. Indeed, towards the end of the film you might find yourself cheering for characters you might have despised after the first half-hour of the film.

Overall, a solid update of a film that, despite not offering as much as it possibly could, is definitely entertaining. And if a film manages to entertain a viewer, then it has served its purpose.

Need more of these from our British cousins!

[MattIn718 · 10/10 · 19 July 2004]

I could understand not liking this movie if someone was expecting Citizen Kane (and if you were, you should be flogged). For a straight to video/cable movie, it had great prod. value, sharp dialogue, and a great supporting cast of Guy Ritchie characters. Throw in some solid football and you have a film to help you forget the worries of your day. The commentary by the two Bobs alone makes it worthwhile. Jones is good, but Statham steals the show in almost all of his scenes. Like the original (The Longest Yard), it was made to entertain the audience, not to provoke some deep introspective thought on the existence of God. See it, rent it, buy it! If you cant discern the heavy British slang, throw on the subtitles. If you don't have a DVD player, how in the hell are you managing to read this?

An interesting and fun remake of "THE LONGEST YARD".

[johnmorghen · 7/10 · 6 August 2002]

I generally hate remakes, but I enjoyed "MEAN MACHINE".

Comparisons are unavoidable with a remake to a popular film, and this is no exception, yet it maintains it's own in a way that an American remake might have not.

This time, our superstar is Danny Meehan played by Vinnie Jones. He's a far cry from Burt Reynolds' Paul Crewe, but he's rowing in the same boat, nonetheless.

Danny is a has-been sports idol, who lost his stardom due to shaving points off a critical game in his career. After getting arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct, he meets up with the sport all over again, by coaching a team of inmates to go up against the prison's guards in a major/minor game of football.

The situation is basically the same, yet there are a few twists here and there to keep things from getting too familiar. The largest of which is that we're dealing with Britain's football, soccer. It is this turn that proves beneficial in giving this film it's own identity.

Albert S. Ruddy, the producer of the original, has arranged for this revision, and seems to know all the right chords to make this an effective feature, as well. The performances are key. Jones does a great job carrying the picture, and it's nice to see Jason Statham joining in the fun, although his role seems a bit hampered by too little screen time. The "holier-than-thou eyebrow performance-of-the-year" award must go to David "Oh, my God, is that really him?!" Hemmings as the crooked warden. He's no Barbara Steele, but he'll do.

Overall, the "MEAN MACHINE" is an entertaining film and definitely worth a look.

darker and not quite as funny

[SnoopyStyle · 5/10 · 24 May 2015]

Disgraced ex-captain of England football team Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan (Vinnie Jones) is thrown in prison for drunkenly assaulting two police officers. Guard Burton tells him that the governor will offer him the job to coach the prison wardens' football team. His men beats him up telling him not to take the job. Lots of prisoners are angry that he threw a game. He befriends smuggler Massive and elderly Doc. He takes on coaching the prisoner's football team with maximum-security prisoner Monk (Jason Statham).

Unlike its American cousins, the humor is not the simple, easy, broad kind. It tries to be darker, energetic grittiness. It's not quite that and it's not quite funny either. This definitely has the Guy Ritchie flavor but director Barry Skolnick doesn't have the same skill level. I would have liked to see Ritchie do the directing himself.

unmatched soccer movie, great prison film

[northbert · 10/10 · 1 June 2004]

I'm not a fan of sport movies and I am not able to watch a soccer match without dozing off, but this one got me. A sympathetic cast I know from the Guy Richie's Snatch with lovely variety of British accents, this film features a lively plot, very funny quotes and a good physical humor, elaborate shots, and an interesting range of prison characters. No matter the characters are rather flat, this simplification I was willing to accept, since the story was so good.

Even though I may have seen better prison movies, and even some that are similar in plot; the Mean Machine is unmatched in the rather distant, ironical view of the prison world, honoring fair-play and manly virtues. Moreover, I was very happy not to see any homosexual relationships among the prisoners, no matter the actual prison reality. (On the other hand, I liked the bookie, he had a style.)

All in all, I enjoyed this film very much. Do not expect food for thought but rest assured this is not a dumb entertainment either.

A total cult classic

[thomasjay-2201 · 7/10 · 4 September 2019]

Never expected what I got from this film, a total (and pleasant) surprise. The only film in history which can boast ACTING from both Jason Statham and Danny Dyer its a surprise what this film achieved. A fall from grace for the lead character Danny Meehan which leads him to prison triggers a one off football match against a rag tag team of inmates and the drilled met police 11. For a sports film it manages to dramatise and add humour to the sports section and opens itself for some hilarious lines via the commentary track. Also having a coinciding dark and gritty corruption subplot it blends tones fantastically and has some good performances from the supporting cast to boot! In all a niche classic

Mediocre mediocrity

[=G= · 4/10 · 18 July 2002]

"Mean Machine" is an all Brit flick about a former soccer hero who goes to prison and is coerced into leading the prisoners to victory in a football match against the guards. A schizophrenic film which straddles the comedy/drama divide like two ballroom dancers listening to different music; one doing salsa, the other a waltz, neither very well, "MM" manages okay art and technicals but fails in execution. May have some appeal among soccer enthusiasts. Wait for broadcast. (D+)

Rage Against The Machine

[Chrysanthepop · 1 June 2008]

Based on Keenan Wynn's 'The Longest Yard', Fletcher adds Brit wit to the screenplay as Skolnick directs a splendid film. Of course the story isn't anything new (like most sports flicks) but the humour brings out the charm. The characters are fun to watch and funnily enough the actors have famously starred in Guy Ritchie films. It's as if they were in prison for the crimes they committed in those films. But, just to avoid any misconception, this isn't a crime-flick and it's very different from the Ritchie films, both in style and content. One doesn't have to be a football fan to enjoy it as the entertainment value is universal. The football match sequence was hilarious and if only the real matches were half entertaining! All the actors do a fine job but it is Vinnie Jones who carries the movie and it's nice to see him as a guy who gets beaten up in comparison to the tough guy roles he's typecast in. Overall, this is a fun little film, not one to be taken too seriously.

The bastard child of Greenfingers, Lock Stock, & Longest Yard

[RondoHatton · 6/10 · 20 July 2010]

I just found this at my local library, and I was surprised I hadn't heard of it before. Now that I've seen it, I can see why it had gone unnoticed. Featuring a cadre of the main actors from "Greenfingers" and "Lock, Stock, & Two Smoking Barrels", when the opening credits rolled and I saw "Based on the film 'The Longest Yard'", I went "Uh oh". Being an American, is it unpatriotic of me to say I this is nearly the equal of the original? Of course, there's very few movies with Burt Reynolds that are worth more than a glance("Deliverance" being a huge exception). While "The Longest Yard" tried to be so hip and anti-establishment, "Mean Machine" is just fun, and we get to see David Kelly play a sweet old fart. Now there's a surprise, but he's so good at it! One-time sex symbol David Hemmings gets a big nod just for his eyebrows, which are massive, but he has this air of barely-controlled rage that I always enjoy, such as in "Last Orders", and I enjoyed seeing Vinnie Jones with long hair. Hey, it's only about an inch long, but that's long compared to most of his roles. There's some pathos, a tiny bit of sex, and some barely-adequate, mostly slapstick & boots in the groin humor. My favorite funny bit was the football commentary by Bob & Bob(Jason Flemyng & Jake Abraham), and the fact the guards' side wore kit that looked like Barstoneworth United("Ripping Yarns"- "Golden Gordon") All in all, as a prison movie, this is no "Green Mile". It's barely up with "Lucky Break". As a soccer/football movie, it's no "Goal!", but it's better than what I'd expect "Soccer Dog" was. It's fun, I was entertained, and that's not a bad thing. The only truly terrible thing is it forced me to look back at the work of Burt Reynolds for this review.

Should I stay for half-time, or leave before traffic gets bad?

[film-critic · 6/10 · 4 October 2007]

"Mean Machine" was a crisp, "thud"-packed film that didn't fight with clichés, but instead gave us an action-comedy that only the British can conquer. While most will complain that this film doesn't do justice to the original, I must ask if Sandler's did either? "The Longest Yard" wasn't a groundbreaking piece of cinema, and to see a British team remake the film, it is almost like a smile on our American faces. How often does that happen? So, without seeing much of the other two films, I went into "Mean Machine" with a clean slate, and enjoyed every moment of it. This was a fresh film, commercial in every since of the word, but fresh for what we decided to remake and slaughter.

I hate sports films. With this film I thought I would watch and return, without giving it a second thought. I thought it would be another cliché moment of the underdogs beating out at the last moment without anyone skipping a beat and winning the female lead at the end. We have all seen these before, and it is the cliché ride that most sports films seem to fall. While "Mean Machine" was similar in nature, what lead to those final moments was really what transformed this film to above average. Vinnie Jones is tolerable. Actually, he is better in this film and shows more range with "Mean Machine" than I have seen him grapple in years. Sure, he was fun in the Guy Ritchie films, but it was fun to see him play the lead this time, while Jason Statham played the muscle. I loved, and in fact love his body of work, David Kelly. He was phenomenal as the older mentor in this film. What made "Mean Machine" stand out was the cast, the trouble I had with Sandler's film was that everyone was fighting to get the best joke in, everyone wanted to be in a scene with Sandler or Rock, but in this one, everyone had their own voice and logic. There were actual characters in this film, ones that stood beyond themselves and created the world we were viewing. With any sports film, there is that inconsistency that could transform the film into a very flat picture. That was never the case here. Jones and his crew gave us direction from point A to point B without missing a beat. Doc, Burton, Massive, Monk, Ratchett, and Sykes brought the prison alive and made us root for a game we have nearly disregarded in America.

The weakest part of this film had to be the story. While the characters gave the story a voice as well as characters to root for, there was just something lacking with the story. It was strong, much stronger than most sports films of the same nature, but there was just that level of punch missing that you would expect from any typical British film. The direction may have had something to do with it, but not completely. I can't put my finger on the issue, and I think it has to do with the ability to recycle films – there is always something missing from each carbon copy. I need to see the original, but alone, "Mean Machine" was directed eagerly, but lacked the depth in the story. I wanted to see Danny's downfall in the beginning, I wanted to know more about him prior to his jail time, the idea of him fixing games seemed minimal in the overall scope of what Danny had to do with playing the guards. I needed that knowledge of whom he was and the struggles that he was facing. Sure, it wasn't meant to be this grand bio-pic, but something (as short as it was needed) had to be there. Maybe I am pulling at straws, but as I look at this picture as a whole, it was a stand-alone film that prided laughs (intelligent ones) as well as hard hitting action, but it needed something more. I could watch this film again, and I would go through the motions, but something was missing. It was like having the best piece of pie in the county, but realizing later that a scoop of ice cream would have been nice as a side. Unknown director Barry Skolnick places this film together well, but I feel as if he could have done more. I didn't need another "Lock, Stock", but I needed something that grabbed me further into.

Will I buy this film? Yep, I think I will just because I loathe the 20-minutes of the Sandler version and prefer to give others a taste of what decent remakes are like, but I cannot say that it is the best film watched. My review seems scattered at best, and as I read through it again, I don't think I have quite the grasp on this film as I hoped. I liked it, not loved it, and I could watch it again, but not too often. Bubbles have more consistency than I do with "Mean Machine". Maybe it was Charlie Fletcher's screenplay, but honestly I think I am just grabbing at air. I think what could have toppled me with this film would have been some special features. Something to show me how it was made, an audio commentary to give me a voice for the director, something that would have made me look deeper into this film. "Mean Machine" isn't bland, but I needed a better flavor.

Overall, I liked it. I am growing tired of this review and think it will throw others off the trail of this invitingly fresh film, so I am going to stop. I think everyone should watch this. Sure, it doesn't have the bathroom humor of Sandler's version, but it does provide the Brits an opportunity to demonstrate that their "football" is just as exciting as ours.

Grade: *** out of *****

could have been better but still worth watching..

[dude5568 · 6/10 · 24 June 2010]

The Mean machine is about a former England soccer player who due to his reckless attitude lands up in a prison where he goes on to train the inmates for an important game.The Hollywood remake 'THE LONGEST YARD' is a better version of MEAN MACHINE if you ask me,still an original has to be appreciated (unless its an absolute trash) and mean machine is not bad at all.The story is excellent.the performances are pretty decent,it deserves 6-7 out of 10 mainly because of the script &

Vinnie Jones who is always entertaining and this is no exception to it,so to sum it up id say the movie is good (could have been a lot better) and definitely more than just a look,as i said if you have already seen THE LONGEST YARD you might find Mean Machine tad dull than the former....

Jason Statham in his finest moment

[steviemagay · 6/10 · 4 September 2021]

Most would remember Sandler's longest yard version of this classic. But this Brit version is funny on its own way. It has some dull moments but mostly it's a fun watch. Watch how this stiff action studs Vinnie Jones and Jason Statham do stupid things out of their usual stereotype character. Statham's role, Monk, stole the show, he's just a dumb angry bloke that wants to hurt anyone. LOL.

My favorite man is 'Monk'

[edremitli · 9/10 · 26 July 2005]

I have watched this movie 3 times and every time I enjoyed it even better. I am totally bored off the American accent of the Hollywood films. Different British accents in this movie removed the rust from my ears. Two commentators were the best I've ever heard. Monk was the most colorful character in the movie, although was given a limited role. I prefer European movies to US movies most of the time. In US movies a hero saves the world, the nation, the city or the whole universe. They spent lots of money on special effects, the artificial scenes, costumes, etc. But those films lack something that I found it difficult to explain in English. Despite their limited budget, European movies like "Mean Machine" manage to affect the audience emotionally and have a better recallability ratio.

British soccer

[kairingler · 6/10 · 26 July 2013]

Having never seen Burt Reynolds in The Longest Yard you won't have to listen to me compare the two, with that said,, I loved the all British ensemble cast ,, Jason Statham obviously did a nice job ,, but to me Mr. Vinnie Jones steals the show, I love him in everything he's in it seems.. this movie is about a national soccer hero who screws up in a major championship game is ridiculed by his countrymen,, winds up in prison,, and organizes a soccer game between the inmates and the guards. stirring and compelling look at prison life in a foreign country as opposed to most movies where it's all based in the United States of America. I love all of the British accents, the scenery in the movie is also very nice, above average picture , story of one man leading a group of men to a greater cause, in an otherwise dreary everyday existence.

Did we leave any cliches out? I think not.

[Mac-Daddy · 1/10 · 29 May 2002]

Another review on this page describes this movie as 'recommendable if you want to escape for 90 minutes.' I can only say wish I had escaped the cinema before the 90 minutes was up. Completely predictable, full of cliches and old gags, frustratingly stopstart use of music. There is NOTHING in this movie you haven't seen before. Even if you haven't seen the original. 1/10 (half a point for each of the two laughs I had.)

Great footballing fun

[pacman-81 · 8/10 · 7 January 2020]

Ex-England soccer captain Danny Meehan is sent to prison after drink driving and assaulting the police. In prison, A corrupt governor in trying to get Meehan (Vinnie Jones) to coach his amateur team, after being turned down is convinced to stage a prisoners vs guards match with Meehan leading a group of inmates in a match against the warden and other officials. as the interest grows there becomes more to the game than simple pride to the winners. In a role specially written for Jones he plays it well and the supporting cast of Danny Dyer, Jason Statham and Jason Flemyng amongst others the film is directed really well. The humour is fantastic witch scene stealing moments from Statham. Don't take serious and just enjoy.

Not bad, my dear "Mean"!

[lupus2 · 7/10 · 20 April 2008]

Generally, I'm a fan of any British; that doesn't count me as an unfair person. When I'm talking for movies, I'll like to be honest and fair, because I love cinema...

So... I'm a huge fan of European cinema, specially for French & British.

This particular "kind" of British movies, the "so-called" ACTION-COMEDY ones, specially the kind of movies like the "Snach", is my TOP FAVORITE kind.

This one, "Mean Mashine", is a quite good movie to watch. So, why I voted with "7"? Simple... If you're a fan of Vinnie Jones (as player or actor) and the incredible Jason Statham, you can't vote something below "7"! Of course, "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" & "Snach", are two of the TOP British movies, with really clever scenario, fantastic directing and great acting.

But... in this movie, you'll find yourselves laughing many times, by the unique British humor and... phrases!

"Bollocks"!

Easy to watch

[johnny-08 · 5/10 · 31 May 2007]

This movie is about ex-football star Danny Meehan who ends up in prison for three years.There he gets offer to lead a football team of prisoners.He excepts that offer and he meets his new friends and team mates.

This movie is nothing special and I liked scenes from prison more then on a football field.I think that those scenes on pitch could have been better.I liked actors and you can really see some very good British actors like Vinnie Jones,David Kelly and Jason Statham.My favorite character is Monk and Statham did an excellent job in portraying this guy.He has to be crazy because he killed people but also he's got a huge heart and he helped the team.I love movies about football because it's my favorite game so I watched this one and I didn't regret.A fine movie.

What I didn't like is that actually we love prisoners more then guards in this movie.We are cheering for people who are murderers and thieves.This side of movie is not well made because most of the people don't get to jail for being innocent.

I can't say that this is a bad movie cause it isn't but some things in plot should be re-done.But I liked the movie and I can recommend it for everyone who knows what is football.Excellent soundtrack with few great songs.