I have seen A LOT of bad movies. I watch them on a regular basis and even some of the really bad ones, I can get through-ones that Mystery Sceince Theater 3000 wouldn't even touch. This is bar none the worst "movie" ever made. I use the term movie loosely in this case because it is more like a group of friends that got together and made a video, but sure enough it has some Troma in it. Even if you like the mindless Troma stuff, this one will make you wince in pain. It IS that bad!! The cover has Lilith Stabs on it (a hot goth/punk type girl of Bad Movie Police fame) in a little outfit with a huge gun. Very misleading. She is NOT in the movie and there are no gun toting babes gunning down zombies. Instead you get to watch an ugly chick with a chocolate stained face annoy the hell out of you with over eccentric bad acting and lisp. The imitation Cosby/Don King character-Bonejack-is something you would laugh at if it were your friend, otherwise it is just lame. The filmmakers felt free to make plenty of inside jokes (the reappearing ice cream poster in tons of shots) without letting the audience in on their little jokes. If this can truly be called a movie versus just a video that some idiots threw together, then yes. This is THE worst movie I have ever seen. It even beats out the Tempe classics such as Humanoids from Atlantis and Robot Ninja. At least with James L Edwards you know what you are getting into. I wonder how many suckers fell for the false advertising on the box cover. Well live and learn the old "You can't judge a book by its cover". Well Mulva didn't kick any zombie ass-but this movie sure kicked mine.
29 Reviews
Wish I could give it a lower rating
FleshAndTheFiends10 August 2005
I was roped into this travesty because... 1) I enjoy zombie films 2) I usually enjoy both Debbie Rochon and Trent Haaga and 3) For some reason I still think there's hope out there for Full Moon, who have lost most of my respect over the years with a succession of incredibly bad releases.
This is easily the most appalling release from Full Moon yet. Words cannot express how lousy (and irritating) this load of excrement is. Frankly, it's insulting that it received ANY kind of release and that anyone has to be tricked into suffering through someone else's home movie. I could even forgive the nonexistent budget, amateurism and awful make-up if there was something else of merit going on here (no such luck!). What I cannot forgive is the completely unfunny 'script' (granted it had one), the migraine-inducing overacting and the pitiful name dropping at each and every turn (I could list fifty other major annoyances, but I won't...) Chris Seaver has absolutely no discernible talent, but HE obviously disagrees with me. Listen to the commentary track and you'll hear the rantings of one of the most misguided, idiotic and delusional people on the planet. He seems to fancy himself as such an original talent. So Chris, I'm glad you find yourself to be so very witty and talented. I found you to be a smug, annoying, juvenile and irrelevant moron whose only possible fan base would have to consist of not-so-bright 10 year olds or someone borderline retarded.
But anyway, since you seem to be such a big fan of yourself and your own work, maybe YOU should keep your crappy movies to yourself, eh? 1/10 (If there was a zero, this 'film' would get it)
This is easily the most appalling release from Full Moon yet. Words cannot express how lousy (and irritating) this load of excrement is. Frankly, it's insulting that it received ANY kind of release and that anyone has to be tricked into suffering through someone else's home movie. I could even forgive the nonexistent budget, amateurism and awful make-up if there was something else of merit going on here (no such luck!). What I cannot forgive is the completely unfunny 'script' (granted it had one), the migraine-inducing overacting and the pitiful name dropping at each and every turn (I could list fifty other major annoyances, but I won't...) Chris Seaver has absolutely no discernible talent, but HE obviously disagrees with me. Listen to the commentary track and you'll hear the rantings of one of the most misguided, idiotic and delusional people on the planet. He seems to fancy himself as such an original talent. So Chris, I'm glad you find yourself to be so very witty and talented. I found you to be a smug, annoying, juvenile and irrelevant moron whose only possible fan base would have to consist of not-so-bright 10 year olds or someone borderline retarded.
But anyway, since you seem to be such a big fan of yourself and your own work, maybe YOU should keep your crappy movies to yourself, eh? 1/10 (If there was a zero, this 'film' would get it)
Bait & Switch
bscream14 May 2006
This is a classic case of bait & switch. The Tempe company must be really scratching if they are reduced to this kind of action. Of course one would expect to see the person on the cover in the movie but not here. It is obvious why this was necessary when you view the hideous looking performers in the product. The movie was the worst I have ever witnessed. However let us perhaps be thankful for something. I believe the cover model is Lilith Stabs & her body is her best & only attribute as her acting talent is sorely limited to use a very kind expression. At least we were spared that. If we still had book burnings as in the old days this would be a prime candidate.
My nomination for "DVD Beer Coaster of the Year"!
Potent84 July 2004
Being the zombie fanatic I am, I found this worthless double feature (comes with Filthy McNasty) and was EXTREMELY disappointed with its atrocity. The babe on the cover isn't the movie (Strike one!). There was no plot and the funny parts were stale (Stee-rike TWO!). The acting wasn't even middle school level(Yer outta there!). Nevermind that the 80's VHS camcorder it was recorded on is insulting to the DVD medium. Ever heard of DV or SVHS?
Aside from the few milliseconds of gore, there was nothing to prevent me from wearing out my thumb on the "Chapter Advance" button. At least throw me some random T&A or stuff blowing up, huh?
I don't care how many of you feel the need to praise and protect this putrid sub-public access Chris Seaver production. Do you owe him money or something? This hack perpetually drops names of TALENTED horror folk (Tom Savini, Lucio Fulci) and throws in five million GOOD MOVIE references to swindle the viewer into believing it's good, fresh writing. Sorry pal, ain't buyin' it.
Is mentioning Egon Spengler supposed to be funny? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller? Frye?
Anyway, there are two things about this "movie" that irritated me:
1. There's a guy in blackface doing a stereotypical Bill Cosby impression. Good one, Chris Seaver. Minstrel show humor = real classy. How about having him eat watermelon and fried chicken too? I'm far from uptight but I don't see what's funny about over-the-top-down-again-and-back-for-seconds blatant racism, do you?
2. Lloyd Kaufman and Toxie make a cameo. DEAR GOD, WHY??? Are you thereby condoning this waste of video by appearing in it? Sure, Troma isn't known for highbrow entertainment, but Terror Firmer is Anne of Green Gables compared to this. And Terror Firmer had hot chicks - a staple of any horror exploitation flick, no matter how minuscule the budget. I know Lloyd is encouraging young filmmakers, but abysmal dreck like this needs to be condemned. There are PEOPLE WITH TALENT out there who deserve the shot this Chris Seaver loser squandered.
Shame on Netflix for peddling it and shame on me for thinking it worthy of my time. Consider yourself warned.
Aside from the few milliseconds of gore, there was nothing to prevent me from wearing out my thumb on the "Chapter Advance" button. At least throw me some random T&A or stuff blowing up, huh?
I don't care how many of you feel the need to praise and protect this putrid sub-public access Chris Seaver production. Do you owe him money or something? This hack perpetually drops names of TALENTED horror folk (Tom Savini, Lucio Fulci) and throws in five million GOOD MOVIE references to swindle the viewer into believing it's good, fresh writing. Sorry pal, ain't buyin' it.
Is mentioning Egon Spengler supposed to be funny? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller? Frye?
Anyway, there are two things about this "movie" that irritated me:
1. There's a guy in blackface doing a stereotypical Bill Cosby impression. Good one, Chris Seaver. Minstrel show humor = real classy. How about having him eat watermelon and fried chicken too? I'm far from uptight but I don't see what's funny about over-the-top-down-again-and-back-for-seconds blatant racism, do you?
2. Lloyd Kaufman and Toxie make a cameo. DEAR GOD, WHY??? Are you thereby condoning this waste of video by appearing in it? Sure, Troma isn't known for highbrow entertainment, but Terror Firmer is Anne of Green Gables compared to this. And Terror Firmer had hot chicks - a staple of any horror exploitation flick, no matter how minuscule the budget. I know Lloyd is encouraging young filmmakers, but abysmal dreck like this needs to be condemned. There are PEOPLE WITH TALENT out there who deserve the shot this Chris Seaver loser squandered.
Shame on Netflix for peddling it and shame on me for thinking it worthy of my time. Consider yourself warned.
Please stop the madness!!
realddddd23 May 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Comment 1: I had to stop watching the movie after i heard the line, 'Do I have to swallow John Stamos's Semen?' i , i, I could not finish this movie and i am mad that i cannot punch Chris Seaver in his throat hole. My movie companion will not let me forget that i picked movie. I am Sorry, Sorry, Sorry. Comment 2:the hideousness of this "movie" will haunt my dreams forever. Was there a director? I don't know. Random scenes of nonsense that couldn't hold the attention of people stupid enough to pay for this movie. Boo to you. All IN ALL, I SHOULD NOT HAVE, and SEAVER, I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH EVEN GETTING A RESPONSE, GOOD OR BAD. I NOW KNOW WHAT A GOOD MOVIE IS!!!!!!!!!
Not even good as a bad movie
zauis_at_mp23 March 2005
As a man who LOVES the inept film Children of the Living Dead, I was stunned by just how horrid this 'film' is. This videotape can only possibly be enjoyed by the cast of retarded amateurs whose names populate the credits.
Nothing Troma has done has EVER been this worthless. Never purchase, rent, or even download this videotape.
I must fill out a few more lines to submit this, and with the videotape still in mind I now submit these lines:
nose breathing is not funny.
not editing out the director's voice is not funny.
whacky hair is not funny.
everything in this videotape that people spent time on is not funny
Nothing Troma has done has EVER been this worthless. Never purchase, rent, or even download this videotape.
I must fill out a few more lines to submit this, and with the videotape still in mind I now submit these lines:
nose breathing is not funny.
not editing out the director's voice is not funny.
whacky hair is not funny.
everything in this videotape that people spent time on is not funny
The worst "movie" I've seen.
ThrownMuse15 March 2005
Avoid these "movies" (and "Filthy McNasty," the other feature on the DVD) at all costs. They are probably only funny to the people who made them, and their friends. Both appear to be made on a home video camera by a group of people who had nothing better to do on a Saturday night. There is no talent involved here (except Debbie Rochon, who deserves much, much better than this). Both movies feature the white director as a black character, complete with blackface and Don King wig. No joke. The external reviews link from IMDb are mostly positive, and I can't understand why. One boldly states that Mulva "deconstructs zombie movies" and that the guy in black face "actually turns that entire minstrel concept onto its narrow-minded head" without suggesting how it could possibly accomplish this. Oh, please. These two movies are the most unfunny attempts at comedy I have ever seen on film.
My Rating (both movies): 0/10.
My Rating (both movies): 0/10.
AWFUL
nyygirl6267411 April 2004
This has got to be one of the most horrible movies ever made. It ranks right up there with Godfather Part III. The acting was abysmal, the writing was marginal at best, and the film itself was overall poorly made and maddening to watch. If it were any longer it could be used as a torture device. Do yourselves a favor, DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE, waste 45 minutes of your life on something more meaningful like twiddling your thumbs or twirling around in your office chair on your lunch break. Please don't give these people any more of your hard earned dollars. People who have nothing better to do with their time than make crappy movies and subject the unwitting public to them should be permanently banned from interaction with society.
It's it's... filmed with a camcorder!
snipet30 March 2004
I'd read the reviews here and most of them do mention that this has low production values but saying this really doesn't capture the atrocity of Mulva.
This has obviously been filmed on video with some scenes even showing what looks like magnetic interference on the tape. The sound is mostly location recorded and is usually unintelligible... this isn't helped by the fact the main character speaks with a terrible lisp throughout. Everyone else shouts to try and be picked up by the camcorder mic and sound distorted. There is little to no lighting work and the camera appears to be hand held most of the time.
Now I realise this is low budget ($2000 I read somewhere) and the production company even call themselves low budget productions but as they are obviously aware that this looks like the cheapest trash ever I'd have hoped they'd try to use skill and talent to counter some of their limitations. Instead they frequently lampoon the state of their production values, lack of actor talent and ludicrous script. I'm sure the people making it thought this was hilarious and indeed this is exactly the sort of film Id make if I had a bunch of mates with loads of free time and a camcorder. However I'd never subject others to it, let alone distribute it on dvd.
I can only assume that the other reviewers here are connoisseurs of extremely low budget film and knew what to expect in terms of production values and took the film purely on content value. I'll admit I did find myself laughing at some of the genre humor but it mostly felt forced with purposely overlong dialogue("I'm going to go as Egon Spengler from the 1984 film ghost busters as portrayed brilliantly by actor and writer Harold Ramis"). If delivered faultlessly this could be funny but as it was next to unintelligible due to bad sound, a lisp and an actress tripping over her lines, I felt more like crying than laughing.
In the end I felt ultimately cheated and I think anyone who expects even the most basic elements of filmmaking skill will do to.
This has obviously been filmed on video with some scenes even showing what looks like magnetic interference on the tape. The sound is mostly location recorded and is usually unintelligible... this isn't helped by the fact the main character speaks with a terrible lisp throughout. Everyone else shouts to try and be picked up by the camcorder mic and sound distorted. There is little to no lighting work and the camera appears to be hand held most of the time.
Now I realise this is low budget ($2000 I read somewhere) and the production company even call themselves low budget productions but as they are obviously aware that this looks like the cheapest trash ever I'd have hoped they'd try to use skill and talent to counter some of their limitations. Instead they frequently lampoon the state of their production values, lack of actor talent and ludicrous script. I'm sure the people making it thought this was hilarious and indeed this is exactly the sort of film Id make if I had a bunch of mates with loads of free time and a camcorder. However I'd never subject others to it, let alone distribute it on dvd.
I can only assume that the other reviewers here are connoisseurs of extremely low budget film and knew what to expect in terms of production values and took the film purely on content value. I'll admit I did find myself laughing at some of the genre humor but it mostly felt forced with purposely overlong dialogue("I'm going to go as Egon Spengler from the 1984 film ghost busters as portrayed brilliantly by actor and writer Harold Ramis"). If delivered faultlessly this could be funny but as it was next to unintelligible due to bad sound, a lisp and an actress tripping over her lines, I felt more like crying than laughing.
In the end I felt ultimately cheated and I think anyone who expects even the most basic elements of filmmaking skill will do to.
Where Should I Begin???
B-MovieDork19 May 2005
I'm having trouble even putting in to words what it was that is wrong with this movie, so bear with me while I try my hardest... This is a would-be Troma movie, so awful and cheap that even they refused to put their name on the box or credits. It's loaded with Troma posters and logos, and they even convinced Lloyd Kaufman to say his stupid little piece, direct from his office in Tromaville... Blegh... This I guess is either hit or miss, and it sure as heck missed with me. I liked most of the actors, EXCEPT for Mulva. She is so disgusting and unpleasant to look at that I swear my stomach actually began to churn! And that is not a compliment. I did like her morbidly obese sidekick (gee, where have we heard this before?)Cassie. And Debbie Rochon and Trent Haaga's performances were, as always, fantastic and highly entertaining. But it wasn't enough to make me ever watch this again. I DO however like the 2nd movie on the disc, "Filthy McNasty", which is the same director, and approximately the same running time. Both movies feature Debbie Rochon in great roles, and both movies rip off (in an amusing way) music from Meet the Feebles, Children of the Corn, and probably others too I didn't catch.
Absolute Garbage!!!
Logan-224 February 2007
Mulva is awful. Possibly the worst movie ever made, and not in a good way. The girl on the DVD box is sexy--too bad she ain't in the movie! The girl in the movie is, IMO, a disgusting troll whom no amount of intoxication could make attractive. The whole thing stinks and looks like it cost 50 cents to throw together in a couple hours--the fact that it probably cost more and took longer does a further disservice to the reputation of cast and crew. Filthy McNasty (included on the double-feature DVD) is also pure crap. These no-talent, backyard films from Tempe, SubRosa and EI Cinema are the reason most people hate SOV. Anyone who regards this garbage as anything even remotely entertaining is delusional or being paid off to say so.
"Super Sweet!"
BHorrorWriter16 November 2001
Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker is probably one of the funniest films I have ever seen. Everything from the entire character of Mulva, to Break-dancing zombies, to voiced-over henchmen, chocolate addictions, morbidly obese friends, the kindly, stereotypical black neighbor (Mr. BoneJack, played by Director and Writer Chris Seaver), to the silly, but gory F/X, intentionally corny dialogue, and cameo's by Lloyd Kauffman, Debbie Rochon and Trent Haaga, all Troma Vets. This film it just hilarious!!!
Mulva is a 23-year-old young girl, who has `unique' style, over zealous obsession with chocolate syrup, a funny lisp, and a dog in a Superman costume. Years ago, on Halloween, she was traumatized by a couple of `Evil Doers', who stole all her trick-or-treat candy, and taunted her with silly obscenities, and an interpretive dance Well, that destined her to swear off Trick-or-Treating, and be a recluse on Halloween. Well, this is her year, and nothing is gonna mess it up. Or so she thinks! On her way to the costume store to attain her Ghostbuster (Egon) costume, she runs into her kindly, slightly perverted, stereotypical elderly black neighbor, Mr. BoneJack (Played by WHITE director, Chris Seaver). Mr. Bonejack has and crazy obsession with Bill Cosby, and warns Mulva that this Halloween might be the most terrifying night of her life. (foreshadowing)
All silliness ensues from confrontations with her nemesis, Chest Mclarge Huge (`oooh, Mclarge Huge!), to dancing with Zombies, to a Naked Cowboy musical interlude to flesh-eating zombies getting their asses kicked This is really a film for anyone who wants a great big belly laugh of fun, or for those who like the silly, sick and twisted. One just really needs to shell out the $10 bucks (S/H included), and buy this movie. I don't want to give all the greatness away, so you need to watch it yourself. Don't expect some fabulous, 35 MM beauty. This movie is filmed on Video, and looks like all those Home Movies people have hidden away, and only show on the holidays. But who cares? This film is worth watching, and the looks gives this a silly, fun and realistic feel that shows the excellence of truly independent filmmaking.
A true Horror/Comedy fan, Chris Seaver (a brilliant and demented 24 year old writer, director, producer) fills the movie with many reference to other horror films, and well as comedy and the such from directors like: Savini, Lucas, Ramis, Carpenter, Fulci, and many others. As well, some great SKA music. I am 100% hooked, and will be purchasing many other titles from LBP. if I'm ever in the New York area, I would love to be in one of these films.
I can't help but to put some of my favorite quotes in this review.
`Ooooh, Mclargehuge'-Mulva `Orgyastic feast of the senses'-Mr. Bonejack `I just shat my pants in complete and total fear'-Cassie `Cassie run, he's gonna show us his wang!'-Mulva `Sucka, I hated you before I even knew you.'-Mulva `You dig?'-Mulva `FOTEEN SHOTS TO DA DIZOME'-Mr. Bonejack `You Zombies will not ruin my night to trick and or treat'-Mulva `Get Ready for the Fury of Mulva. And don't skimp on the gravy.'-Mulva
I am very happy to be starting my new relationship with LBP, and will give them the same devotion I have to such low budget companies as Troma, Full Moon, and Tempe Entertainment.
10 out of 10
Mulva is a 23-year-old young girl, who has `unique' style, over zealous obsession with chocolate syrup, a funny lisp, and a dog in a Superman costume. Years ago, on Halloween, she was traumatized by a couple of `Evil Doers', who stole all her trick-or-treat candy, and taunted her with silly obscenities, and an interpretive dance Well, that destined her to swear off Trick-or-Treating, and be a recluse on Halloween. Well, this is her year, and nothing is gonna mess it up. Or so she thinks! On her way to the costume store to attain her Ghostbuster (Egon) costume, she runs into her kindly, slightly perverted, stereotypical elderly black neighbor, Mr. BoneJack (Played by WHITE director, Chris Seaver). Mr. Bonejack has and crazy obsession with Bill Cosby, and warns Mulva that this Halloween might be the most terrifying night of her life. (foreshadowing)
All silliness ensues from confrontations with her nemesis, Chest Mclarge Huge (`oooh, Mclarge Huge!), to dancing with Zombies, to a Naked Cowboy musical interlude to flesh-eating zombies getting their asses kicked This is really a film for anyone who wants a great big belly laugh of fun, or for those who like the silly, sick and twisted. One just really needs to shell out the $10 bucks (S/H included), and buy this movie. I don't want to give all the greatness away, so you need to watch it yourself. Don't expect some fabulous, 35 MM beauty. This movie is filmed on Video, and looks like all those Home Movies people have hidden away, and only show on the holidays. But who cares? This film is worth watching, and the looks gives this a silly, fun and realistic feel that shows the excellence of truly independent filmmaking.
A true Horror/Comedy fan, Chris Seaver (a brilliant and demented 24 year old writer, director, producer) fills the movie with many reference to other horror films, and well as comedy and the such from directors like: Savini, Lucas, Ramis, Carpenter, Fulci, and many others. As well, some great SKA music. I am 100% hooked, and will be purchasing many other titles from LBP. if I'm ever in the New York area, I would love to be in one of these films.
I can't help but to put some of my favorite quotes in this review.
`Ooooh, Mclargehuge'-Mulva `Orgyastic feast of the senses'-Mr. Bonejack `I just shat my pants in complete and total fear'-Cassie `Cassie run, he's gonna show us his wang!'-Mulva `Sucka, I hated you before I even knew you.'-Mulva `You dig?'-Mulva `FOTEEN SHOTS TO DA DIZOME'-Mr. Bonejack `You Zombies will not ruin my night to trick and or treat'-Mulva `Get Ready for the Fury of Mulva. And don't skimp on the gravy.'-Mulva
I am very happy to be starting my new relationship with LBP, and will give them the same devotion I have to such low budget companies as Troma, Full Moon, and Tempe Entertainment.
10 out of 10
Mulva got the goods
dvdrtrgn24 June 2005
Here's a shlock/horror double-feature that's both raw and steaming. Featuring gags o' plenty--they pile it on and never stop to flush. If you're looking for less spit and more polish, pull out Creepshow or stick to mainstream action flicks--Blayde etc...
Mulva: delivers the goods.
Of course every such film has detractors, but let's put this in its proper context. This is a triple-B flick. It carves itself out of a squalid genre, and those who hate it for being as such are silly.
In appreciation of this effort, behold unbelievable whining from the clueless: those who didn't know what to expect when they rented a movie called "Mulva: Zombie Ass-kicker"...
...Ugh, the lead actress was gross!
...Ooh, the acting was unprofessional.
...Bah, the budget was low...
Ummm, duhh!
Were you expecting anything less than a craptastigorifsycal cinema-shltfest?
Now, realize that these sentiments that complainoids and their ilk make are the reasons this movie isn't a waste of time. And maybe, just maybe (deep down) you'll like it.
So if you want to take a stab at every little sacred cliché, rent it "again for the first time," snoogins!
Mulva: delivers the goods.
Of course every such film has detractors, but let's put this in its proper context. This is a triple-B flick. It carves itself out of a squalid genre, and those who hate it for being as such are silly.
In appreciation of this effort, behold unbelievable whining from the clueless: those who didn't know what to expect when they rented a movie called "Mulva: Zombie Ass-kicker"...
...Ugh, the lead actress was gross!
...Ooh, the acting was unprofessional.
...Bah, the budget was low...
Ummm, duhh!
Were you expecting anything less than a craptastigorifsycal cinema-shltfest?
Now, realize that these sentiments that complainoids and their ilk make are the reasons this movie isn't a waste of time. And maybe, just maybe (deep down) you'll like it.
So if you want to take a stab at every little sacred cliché, rent it "again for the first time," snoogins!
I only finished this crap movie because I couldn't let it win.
serendipity3238224 October 2010
Just thinking about this "movie" to write a review makes my brain bleed. This has to be the worst thing ever filmed in the history of film and Netflix should be ashamed for offering it. Seriously, my husband made a better "gag-filled comedy" back in high school between rounds of Magic: The Gathering.
I'm sure Mulva was meant to be annoying, but her whole gimmick is like that "one thing" that your friend does that's "sooo funny" where the ugly expressions and annoying voice done by that friend becomes the inside running joke. The problem is that that running joke is funny only to a select few and eventually, those select few will get tired of it as well. The actress in this role can't act, and I'm convinced that none of the cast could even play dead sufficiently enough to avoid being fatally mauled by a bear.
I can forgive the low budget filming, however all the screen wipes and poor editing were pathetic. If it was a choice on Seaver's part, give the jerk a lobotomy and take away his camera.
I truly believe 2 Girls 1 Cup would be easier to watch than this steaming pile.
I'm sure Mulva was meant to be annoying, but her whole gimmick is like that "one thing" that your friend does that's "sooo funny" where the ugly expressions and annoying voice done by that friend becomes the inside running joke. The problem is that that running joke is funny only to a select few and eventually, those select few will get tired of it as well. The actress in this role can't act, and I'm convinced that none of the cast could even play dead sufficiently enough to avoid being fatally mauled by a bear.
I can forgive the low budget filming, however all the screen wipes and poor editing were pathetic. If it was a choice on Seaver's part, give the jerk a lobotomy and take away his camera.
I truly believe 2 Girls 1 Cup would be easier to watch than this steaming pile.
Mulva: product of incest
Tromafreak5 October 2009
I've been tempted to buy this movie for a couple years now, but never got around to it. Most recently, I bought one of Chris Seavers more recent films, Terror At Blood Fart Lake, which would introduce me to the LBP universe. Well, to be blunt, I was angry. Angry at myself for paying for it, angry at Seaver for making it, I was even a little angry at Amazon for selling it. But then, something completely unexpected happened, I watched it again... and again, and again, and again, and you know what? LBP won me over. Terror At Blood Fart Lake is now one of my all-time favorite B-movies, which now brings us to Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker. Naturally, after discovering the masterpiece of Blood Fart Lake, I would be much more open to giving Mulva a chance, and that's exactly what I did. But now, I don't know what to think...
First things first, I don't know who that is on the cover, but that hot chick ain't Mulva. Pretty clever, but it would still be nice if Mulva was hot, or at least a half-way decent-looking human. I don't know what it is about the real Mulva that's supposed to be funny, and I truly do not want to know.
Mulva is an obnoxious, goofy, extremely unfunny candy addict, who, after a traumatizing experience, hasn't been mentally capable of trick or treating. Tonight, all that changes, for tonight, Mulva will trick and/or treat as long as there's not a Zombie outbreak, or anything like that.
Now that there's a zombie outbreak (sort of), the good citizens of Tromaville, yes, Tromaville, New Jersey, will no doubt be torn apart in a very unrealistic manner, by the very unrealistic-looking living-dead, yet, Mulva is only concerned with preventing her candy from being stolen.
Along with Mr. Bonejack, the legendary Teen Ape, and some fat girl, Mulva sets out to kick some zombie ass, prevent Halloween from being ruined, and maybe even save some lives. Oh yeah, and there's also shameful amounts of puns, gags, and inside jokes.
As for the sequel, Mulva 2: Kill Teen Ape, you'll be pleased to know that the hot chick on that cover is indeed the hot chick on that cover. Our pal, Debbie Rochon takes over the role, as I can only assume the original was eventually put out of its misery.
Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker reminds me more so of one of those shot-on-video introductions to a Troma movie, more so than an actual movie, however, this is definitely a movie, and no one can take that away from it. And you probably thought this was Seavers first film. surprisingly not, not even close, just the earliest listed on IMDb. I'm surprised they listed this one. It doesn't get much more amateur than Mulva. As borderline traumatizing as my most recent LBP experience was, I am sooooo ready for more. No, really. Seavers films are addicting. They seem really stupid at first, but there's some genius humor going on in LBP, and yes, I am aware that Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker is clearly not the best example of that theory. This might sound ridiculous to some, but Chris Seaver just might be the great B-movie director of this era. That's right, the next H. G. Lewis, the next Lloyd Kaufman, or John Waters, or hell, at least the next Ray Dennis Steckler. In an age where stuff like Clerks and Pulp Fiction is what people consider independent film, Seavage and his pals keep the drive-in alive, with a company that may, at first come off as a half-ass Troma, but could ultimately be exactly what the B-Horror universe needs to evolve. I predict big things for Low Budget Pictures... or at least a whole lot of little things. As much as I love LBP, I'm not going to insult anyone's intelligence and play it off like Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker is one of my all-time favorites, but the pure awsomeness of Blood Fart Lake has given me the patience to see the beauty in any pile of garbage, as long as it came from Chris Seaver, but for the record, this one is pretty bad, and the original Mulva is pretty irritating. I'm not particularly proud of myself for doing this, but my new-found loyalty to LBP is just too overwhelming, *sigh*... I'm giving Mulva a perfect score. 10/10
First things first, I don't know who that is on the cover, but that hot chick ain't Mulva. Pretty clever, but it would still be nice if Mulva was hot, or at least a half-way decent-looking human. I don't know what it is about the real Mulva that's supposed to be funny, and I truly do not want to know.
Mulva is an obnoxious, goofy, extremely unfunny candy addict, who, after a traumatizing experience, hasn't been mentally capable of trick or treating. Tonight, all that changes, for tonight, Mulva will trick and/or treat as long as there's not a Zombie outbreak, or anything like that.
Now that there's a zombie outbreak (sort of), the good citizens of Tromaville, yes, Tromaville, New Jersey, will no doubt be torn apart in a very unrealistic manner, by the very unrealistic-looking living-dead, yet, Mulva is only concerned with preventing her candy from being stolen.
Along with Mr. Bonejack, the legendary Teen Ape, and some fat girl, Mulva sets out to kick some zombie ass, prevent Halloween from being ruined, and maybe even save some lives. Oh yeah, and there's also shameful amounts of puns, gags, and inside jokes.
As for the sequel, Mulva 2: Kill Teen Ape, you'll be pleased to know that the hot chick on that cover is indeed the hot chick on that cover. Our pal, Debbie Rochon takes over the role, as I can only assume the original was eventually put out of its misery.
Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker reminds me more so of one of those shot-on-video introductions to a Troma movie, more so than an actual movie, however, this is definitely a movie, and no one can take that away from it. And you probably thought this was Seavers first film. surprisingly not, not even close, just the earliest listed on IMDb. I'm surprised they listed this one. It doesn't get much more amateur than Mulva. As borderline traumatizing as my most recent LBP experience was, I am sooooo ready for more. No, really. Seavers films are addicting. They seem really stupid at first, but there's some genius humor going on in LBP, and yes, I am aware that Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker is clearly not the best example of that theory. This might sound ridiculous to some, but Chris Seaver just might be the great B-movie director of this era. That's right, the next H. G. Lewis, the next Lloyd Kaufman, or John Waters, or hell, at least the next Ray Dennis Steckler. In an age where stuff like Clerks and Pulp Fiction is what people consider independent film, Seavage and his pals keep the drive-in alive, with a company that may, at first come off as a half-ass Troma, but could ultimately be exactly what the B-Horror universe needs to evolve. I predict big things for Low Budget Pictures... or at least a whole lot of little things. As much as I love LBP, I'm not going to insult anyone's intelligence and play it off like Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker is one of my all-time favorites, but the pure awsomeness of Blood Fart Lake has given me the patience to see the beauty in any pile of garbage, as long as it came from Chris Seaver, but for the record, this one is pretty bad, and the original Mulva is pretty irritating. I'm not particularly proud of myself for doing this, but my new-found loyalty to LBP is just too overwhelming, *sigh*... I'm giving Mulva a perfect score. 10/10
Sucks complete ass.
BA_Harrison15 July 2017
Candy loving horror geek Mulva (Missy Donatuti) and her almost-as-dorky pal Cassie (Calley Thidemann) go trick or treating, but find themselves face-to-face with a horde of ravenous zombies.
I only have myself to blame: having already suffered through all three of writer/director Chris Seaver's dreadful Filthy MacNasty films, I still came back for more, this time tackling one of his earliest efforts, Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker. I already knew that the sexy gun-toting woman on the cover wasn't the titular Zombie Ass Kicker, and yet I was surprised at just how unappealing the lead character was, a fugly, chocolate addicted nerd with the most irritating voice imaginable. But that's not the worst of it
Abysmal performances, childish humour, crap dialogue, a horrible Benny Hill-inspired comedy scene, pathetic special effects, a terrible cameo from Troma head honcho Lloyd Kaufman (whose worst output is still better than this), and really cheap production values (those nasty scene transitions!! Ugh!) all go to make this a complete waste of time—zero budget, home-made tongue-in-cheek horror nonsense of the lowest kind imaginable.
I only have myself to blame: having already suffered through all three of writer/director Chris Seaver's dreadful Filthy MacNasty films, I still came back for more, this time tackling one of his earliest efforts, Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker. I already knew that the sexy gun-toting woman on the cover wasn't the titular Zombie Ass Kicker, and yet I was surprised at just how unappealing the lead character was, a fugly, chocolate addicted nerd with the most irritating voice imaginable. But that's not the worst of it
Abysmal performances, childish humour, crap dialogue, a horrible Benny Hill-inspired comedy scene, pathetic special effects, a terrible cameo from Troma head honcho Lloyd Kaufman (whose worst output is still better than this), and really cheap production values (those nasty scene transitions!! Ugh!) all go to make this a complete waste of time—zero budget, home-made tongue-in-cheek horror nonsense of the lowest kind imaginable.
I want a License to Kill
lastliberal15 July 2008
Flashback! Flashback! I remember when I bought License to Kill with Denzel on the DVD cover. He made a very brief appearance in the movie. That was nothing compared to seeing Mulva on the cover of this DVD and thinking it couldn't be too bad if she's in it. Well, the Mulva in the Movie is not the girl on the DVD cover. She is butt-ugly and jonesing for chocolate, which is always on her face. What a ripoff! Now, that I am finished ranting, I will tell you what I really thought of this homemade production. Maybe Chris Seaver was hoping for an Oscar in some category, as he writes, directs, edits, shoots, and does the makeup. Maybe, he even brings the donuts.
I endured this to see Debbie Rochon as Lady McPouchsweat. As usual, she acts way above whatever she is in, and she does that again here. As for the rest of the cast: let's just say it was stranger than anything I have ever seen.
I endured this to see Debbie Rochon as Lady McPouchsweat. As usual, she acts way above whatever she is in, and she does that again here. As for the rest of the cast: let's just say it was stranger than anything I have ever seen.
Get rid of Mulva and this film would be superb
dereksdontrun1026 September 2004
This film is almost a perfect Low-budget movie. The only problem? Well frankly it's Mulva. Unfortunately shes the main character, so shes in just about every scene in the movie, a shame since shes probably the most irritating character every committed to film (or video in this case). The first 10 minutes or so of the film are Mulva alone in her house talking to the camera and I came within seconds of abandoning the movie entirely. But I'm glad I didn't...
.. Once shes into the open she meets a host of other characters who, thankfully, are much more interesting and amusing than Mulva. The next door neighbour (a blacked up white guy. To make absolutely sure everyone knows hes really white, they haven't put any make up on his hands) is fantastic, and somewhat reminiscent of the Micheal jackson character in 'Bo select'.
Old Troma hand Trent Hagaa gives a fantastically intense performance as Debbie Rochon's seemingly schizophrenic husband which alone makes the film worth a watch. You also get a hilariously half arsed cameo from Troma president Lloyd kaufman (as mayor of tromaville).
If you get a kick out of spotting tributes and references to other films then your gonna love this. I don't recall ever seeing a film pay homage to such a number of great movies; from 'The Goonies' to 'Dawn of the Dead'. This film also boasts a very high 'joke density'. Even if every gag isn't necessarily a cracker, there's enough of them to make this an exceptionally funny film.
If you like horror movies, and you want a giggle then provided you can put up with Mulva this films worth tracking down. Oh, it's perhaps worth mentioning that this is an extremely low budget movie, with all the bad acting, dodgy lighting and camcorder quality picture you expect. But then, I doubt you'd of found yourself here without knowing that already.
.. Once shes into the open she meets a host of other characters who, thankfully, are much more interesting and amusing than Mulva. The next door neighbour (a blacked up white guy. To make absolutely sure everyone knows hes really white, they haven't put any make up on his hands) is fantastic, and somewhat reminiscent of the Micheal jackson character in 'Bo select'.
Old Troma hand Trent Hagaa gives a fantastically intense performance as Debbie Rochon's seemingly schizophrenic husband which alone makes the film worth a watch. You also get a hilariously half arsed cameo from Troma president Lloyd kaufman (as mayor of tromaville).
If you get a kick out of spotting tributes and references to other films then your gonna love this. I don't recall ever seeing a film pay homage to such a number of great movies; from 'The Goonies' to 'Dawn of the Dead'. This film also boasts a very high 'joke density'. Even if every gag isn't necessarily a cracker, there's enough of them to make this an exceptionally funny film.
If you like horror movies, and you want a giggle then provided you can put up with Mulva this films worth tracking down. Oh, it's perhaps worth mentioning that this is an extremely low budget movie, with all the bad acting, dodgy lighting and camcorder quality picture you expect. But then, I doubt you'd of found yourself here without knowing that already.
I really didn't hate this movie
sandy419-130 August 2008
Pros: *It's only one hour long *Teen Ape is a very likable character *Lots of angular goofiness *Lead actress Missy Donatuti could probably be pretty good with some competent direction
Cons: *Many of the referential jokes fall flat. REAlly flat. *BoneJack is a collection of terrifically embarrassing racial stereotypes *Mulva is like the most insipid SNL character you can imagine run amok *Many people consider the saving grace of the film to be the 4 minute cameo by the star of "Bikini Bloodbath." What does that tell you?
On the whole, the movie is likable in that the folks involved seem to have given it their all - that same sort of pathetic earnestness that make Ed Wood films impossible to hate. But please guys, rent some decent equipment and lighting next time, OK?
Cons: *Many of the referential jokes fall flat. REAlly flat. *BoneJack is a collection of terrifically embarrassing racial stereotypes *Mulva is like the most insipid SNL character you can imagine run amok *Many people consider the saving grace of the film to be the 4 minute cameo by the star of "Bikini Bloodbath." What does that tell you?
On the whole, the movie is likable in that the folks involved seem to have given it their all - that same sort of pathetic earnestness that make Ed Wood films impossible to hate. But please guys, rent some decent equipment and lighting next time, OK?
Pretty much as bad a low budget horror movie as you're likely to get... Mulva sucks!!
Foreverisacastironmess12310 May 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Like every one of his bizarre movies that I've yet seen, Chris Seaver directs this monstrosity in the most consistently unfunny and tedious way possible, not fun to watch whatsoever, just seriously aggravating. As bad as his other movies have proved to be, this to me was noticeably one of his slowest and weakest efforts of his I've watched yet and it's without question one of the very worst kinds of independent cheap horror movies and the only thing that really gives this celluloid trash fire an inkling of noteworthiness is that Troma chose to distribute it. The cover alone is a great big lie and is a blatant little bit of false advertising, as we don't get a sexy lady with guns kicking ass in the movie, we get an absolute repulsive woman-girl hyper nerd thing with nauseating chocolate smeared over her mouth the entire time, mugging and howling for all that she's worth and giving a performance that a junior school play would spit on! I have no idea what she's like in real life but as far as her character of Mulva in this rotten-ass flick goes I found Missy Donatuti revolting and she was behaving more like a mentally handicapped person than a nerd! Her ceaseless nasal yammering gave me a splitting headache man!! I think the movie was trying to be something of a schlocky throwback to the Toxic Avenger movies, but the main problem is that it's nothing but a bad dull film that's boring and that feels the need to scream and throw s**t at you like a spastic child to get a reaction, we hear of zombies but never get to really see any, and when they do pop up its easy to see why the filmmakers opted to show them very little as their designs are downright awful. As short as the movie runs it still feels too damn long as Mulva doesn't have a single thing going in its favour outside of a very generic sexy fighter girl DVD cover. I'm sure that they were trying for something but I wasn't picking up on it, it's almost as if they had no money and so instead of doing anything decent decided to just dunk a lot of boring talk-fest scenes on the poor audience with bland and uninteresting characters that try way too hard, non-sexy ones too! Really, really terrible and certainly one of the worst that you're ever likely to see, it's such a stinkaroo! Painful.
Mindless Z-grade trash
Leofwine_draca23 April 2017
Warning: Spoilers
MULVA: ZOMBIE ASS KICKER! is one of the earlier trash movies made by Chris Seaver on zero budget. I never thought I'd see a director who makes Troma's output look decent by comparison but Seaver is indeed that guy. This is a ridiculous story about a woman who fights zombies, but it's just an endless parade of guys making jokes to the camera and trying so desperately to be funny when they really aren't. There's no horror content, just stupid fright wigs and nonsense. The best part is Lloyd Kaufman's cameo in which he brings the Toxic Avenger and Sergeant Kabukiman along for the ride.
A fun movie!
TMAN24715 August 2002
Funny Movie; 10 out of 10
The Creeper31 December 2002
This movie proves that film makers don't have to have a Million Dollar budget to make a fun, watch-able movie. As I Said, the budget is extremely low, the video looks like it was shot on a Hand-held cam-corder. The acting is not serious, but goofy. Goofiness is what this movie is all about!
10 out of 10
Fans of B-Movies like this should Check out Puppet Master, Skinned Alive, Sleep Away Camp, Slumber Party Massacre, and other Full Moon Pictures flicks. For other recommendations, check out the other comments I have sent in by clicking on my name above this comment section.
F.Y.I: This film is available as a bonus extra on the "Hell Asylum" Special Limited Edition D.V.D.
10 out of 10
Fans of B-Movies like this should Check out Puppet Master, Skinned Alive, Sleep Away Camp, Slumber Party Massacre, and other Full Moon Pictures flicks. For other recommendations, check out the other comments I have sent in by clicking on my name above this comment section.
F.Y.I: This film is available as a bonus extra on the "Hell Asylum" Special Limited Edition D.V.D.
Foteen Shots To The Dizome!
dwaltz696913 June 2006
I remember when I had to first watch this film to review on some website. The cover was very nice. Then I watched the movie and Missy Donatuti ain't no Lilith Stabs. "Wait!" I rationalized to myself. "Maybe she turns into Lilith Stabs when she fights the zombies?" No such luck. But then I watched it a couple more times and was amazed that there are lines (Like the one I used for my title) that just crack me up. I am a big fan of micro budget movies and most people are unprepared to watch them. How can you compare this to anything that Hollywood makes? You can't. It's a genre unto itself and Seavage has made it his own. And for the morons on this comment board: The flick was not made by Troma or Full Moon and you really need to watch the entire flick because there are, indeed, zombies and much zombie ass kicking to boot. Best name for a character ever: Cester McLarge Huge. Freaking genius! So for you Seaver haters out there. Get over yourself and go watch something else. We really don't need you in the Low Budget Pictures neighborhood.
See also
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