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Reviews
Neverwhere (1996)
A good story. An appalling adaptation
I started watching this series with keen anticipation. By the end of the second episode I was hugely disappointed.
Have you ever watched something and felt that it could have been so so much better? There's no doubt that Niel Gaimans story is very imaginative, but this series makes it seem unforgivably cheesy.
I'm all for a low budget, so long as some creativity has gone into the use of it. Unfortunately, the combination of disgraceful acting, and boring, DIY, cinematography make this a challenge to sit through.
Maybe one day a director with some talent 'll have another crack. Until that day comes, do yourselves a favour and read the book instead.
Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker! (2000)
Get rid of Mulva and this film would be superb
This film is almost a perfect Low-budget movie. The only problem? Well frankly it's Mulva. Unfortunately shes the main character, so shes in just about every scene in the movie, a shame since shes probably the most irritating character every committed to film (or video in this case). The first 10 minutes or so of the film are Mulva alone in her house talking to the camera and I came within seconds of abandoning the movie entirely. But I'm glad I didn't...
.. Once shes into the open she meets a host of other characters who, thankfully, are much more interesting and amusing than Mulva. The next door neighbour (a blacked up white guy. To make absolutely sure everyone knows hes really white, they haven't put any make up on his hands) is fantastic, and somewhat reminiscent of the Micheal jackson character in 'Bo select'.
Old Troma hand Trent Hagaa gives a fantastically intense performance as Debbie Rochon's seemingly schizophrenic husband which alone makes the film worth a watch. You also get a hilariously half arsed cameo from Troma president Lloyd kaufman (as mayor of tromaville).
If you get a kick out of spotting tributes and references to other films then your gonna love this. I don't recall ever seeing a film pay homage to such a number of great movies; from 'The Goonies' to 'Dawn of the Dead'. This film also boasts a very high 'joke density'. Even if every gag isn't necessarily a cracker, there's enough of them to make this an exceptionally funny film.
If you like horror movies, and you want a giggle then provided you can put up with Mulva this films worth tracking down. Oh, it's perhaps worth mentioning that this is an extremely low budget movie, with all the bad acting, dodgy lighting and camcorder quality picture you expect. But then, I doubt you'd of found yourself here without knowing that already.
Dog Soldiers (2002)
The Worst Film Ever Made?
This is one of the most deeply flawed and irritating films ever made. If you ever find yourself watching films and thinking "why on earth in that situation would you do that??" then this is not the film for you. That said, if you still really wanna watch the film, then read no further coz theres some minor spoilers comming up.
Ok, so your a soldier on an Exercise in some woods in Scotland. You've set up camp, and your about to go to sleep. Next thing you know, a mutilated cow falls out of the sky, and lands right in front of you. Personaly, i would want an explanation for why this had happend. However, whoever wrote dog sldiers thought that the natural response would be to say "thats odd, lets get some kip and find out what happend in the morning" Its just plain stupid, and similar examples crop up time and time again through the film.
Other problems with the film, to name but a few include; a wittless script, werewolves that look quite literally like a man, with a wolf's head and a woefully predictable plot ("thank you for this gift of a letter opener its lovely", "well look after it, its REAL SILVER" hmmmm i wander if that comes in handy later)
I really would urge everyone who reads this to avoid this film like a poorly concieved and produced werewolf movie.