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You're under arrest; you have the right to remain silent
lor_8 June 2015
Leonard Kirtman made plenty of money with a series of successful jail-bait porn films in the '80s, but this one takes the cake. No, it's not kiddie porn due to several legal loopholes, but your honor, I object!

As helpfully stated in IMDb, what circulates now of this film, under the innocent title L.A. GIRLS, is a censored version. When little Tammy (diminutive actress with big breasts -just the way we likes 'em) in her pigtails is referred to age-wise the screen goes suddenly silent. The film carefully states on cards before and after that all the characters portrayed are 18 or over, yet late in the film UNCENSORED we hear Tammy's best friend Tigr mention that she's in Seventh Grade and older than Lolita (Tammy's character) - unless these two kept flunking over and over and over and over -well, you do the math.

Like other Leon Gucci epics (that's the name Kirtman used during the not-even-legal portion of his Adult career), the whole thing's in poor taste, on purpose. Worst sequence, which I found unbearable (but is obviously aimed at card- carrying perverts) has a traveling salesman show up (stag movie, anyone?) and with nobody else home, show his wares to little Tammy. He's selling dildos, tries them out on the little girl and then gets a blow job from her, all the while bribing her with lollipops and dishing out the nauseating mind-game patter that Jamie Gillis built an entire career around.

Her next scene has Tammy in bed requesting anal sex and then charging the guy $100 when it's over. Final shot of the movie is a school bus driving away, just to hammer home the underage premise.

Along the way Chelsea Manchester aka Tigr is similarly deflowered with a kindly pet horse watching, followed by anal sex, after we've been introduced to her in "family film" style petting the creature right out of NATIONAL VELVET. I was waiting for a bestiality scene from Mr. Gucci, but alas, the DVD version runs 17 minutes short so i'll never know if "Leon" had the guts to cross that line too.

Ron Jeremy is on board to hump a full-grown woman, but he talks quite a bit about having fondled Lolita, so that must have been in the missing reel or two. At one point Lolita's daddy gives her a French kiss (much to mommy's dismay) so maybe we missed out on some incest too.

All in a day's work for a pornographer blinded by those great big dollar signs in the sky. Yes, I admit it, I turned down an offer to join Radicals for Capitalism on my college campus so long ago, even though I was then reading Ayn Rand religiously at the time, if you'll pardon the oxymoron. Sorry fans, watching so much porn hasn't addled my brain but it has made me addicted to stream of consciousness.
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10/10
Funny and sexy
sanfordcary8 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Growing up female seems way harder.

Lolita and Tigr just seem confused!
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