The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966)
Don Knotts: Luther Heggs
Photos
Quotes
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Alma Parker : I didn't know you knew karate.
Luther Heggs : Oh, yeah. I've been studying it by mail for years. My whole body's a weapon.
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Luther Heggs : Calm? Do "murder" and "calm" go together? Calm and murder? Murder?
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Whitlow : I'm asking you a question, Heggs! Can't you curb your imagination for one minute?
Luther Heggs : Can't you curb your tongue for a minute?
Man in audience : Atta boy, Luther!
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Luther Heggs : When you work with words, words are your work.
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Luther Heggs : It was terrible. It was just terrible. I'll never get over it as long as I live.
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Whitlow : You really love the newspaper game, don't you, Luther?
Luther Heggs : Yeah, I sure do. I guess if you cut me, I'd bleed ink.
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Luther Heggs : Mr. Boob, that's me. B double-O B - boob!
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Suzanna Blush : It's Calver Weems! He's DEAD! He's been MURDERED!
Luther Heggs : Well don't panic! DON'T PANIC!
Suzanna Blush : Oh Luther! Luther! It was terrible! He was walking along the streen when: BANG! Right on the head!
[points to 2x4]
Suzanna Blush : With that!
Luther Heggs : Well did you see who did it?
Suzanna Blush : No, it was just: BANG! Right on the head! With that!
Luther Heggs : Well I'll just get a picture of it. Lets see... f32... and it's dark, it's been rainin'... and uh... Oh for heaven's sake STAND BACK Suzanna! Stand back! Get out of the way! And for heaven's sake don't TOUCH anything! This is all EVIDENCE!
Suzanna Blush : He was just walking down the street when: BANG! Right on the head!
Luther Heggs : All right, I'll get a picture of the murder weapon...
Suzanna Blush : BANG! Right on the head! I was just getting ready to brush my teeh and watch Lawrence Welk, then I looked out the window and: BANG...
Luther Heggs : For heaven's sake Suzanna pull yourself together! I'm goin down to the Police Station! Now you get on the phone and call my editor!
Suzanna Blush : WHO?
Luther Heggs : George Beckett! tell him to get down to the police station as soon as possible! And for heaven's sakes, whatever you do, KEEP your HEAD!
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Luther Heggs : [after being heckled as he walks to his car] All right, you two guys! You'd just better watch it. You see these two hands? They're just as hard as steel!
Heavyset Man at Police Station : Hey, look at him, Billy Ray. He's a karate champion! We'd better watch ourselves.
Billy Ray Fox : Yeah, go ahead, Luther!
Heavyset Man at Police Station : Do something!
Luther Heggs : [chickens out] Why don't you run up an alley and holler fish!
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Luther Heggs : Well, me, I just don't happen to believe in ghosts... particularly.
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Luther Heggs : What are you tryin' to do? Make a fool out of me?
Ollie Weaver : You don't need much help, Scoop.
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Luther Heggs : I just love good food.
Alma Parker : So do I.
Luther Heggs : Do you?
Alma Parker : Uh-huh.
Luther Heggs : You know, you and I are a lot alike. My mother liked good food.
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Luther Heggs : All right, all right, up to the organ loft! Come on, folks. Up to the organ loft. Follow me to the organ loft. The organ loft is next.
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Luther Heggs : Now you're apt to see some pretty frightening things, but don't panic, you're in no real personal danger. Now you ladies of the jury, stay close together. Hold hands if you wish.
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Luther Heggs : Don't bother us now, Calver. We got a murder on our hands. Calver! Calver, what are you doing here? You're dead!
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Kelsey : You got spunk.
Luther Heggs : You - you know, I guess I got that from my mother. She had plenty of spunk.
