Mad Youth (1939)

Willy Castello: Count DeHoven

Quotes 

• Count DeHoven : You mean to tell me you let your daughter go and visit Helen without even knowing where she lives?

  Lucy Morgan : Well, yes. She said she'd write in a few days.

  Count DeHoven : But all we know about Helen is that she ran away to marry a man she had never seen. A man she met through a matrimonial agency advertisement.

  Lucy Morgan : Yes, I... I guess that is so.

  Count DeHoven : Don't you know that some of those agencies are the worst kind of traps? That many of the customers are criminals, morons, white slavers, or people who are mentally or physically diseased?

  Lucy Morgan : Oh, I've never given it a thought.

  Count DeHoven : Oh, you American mothers, with your Bridge parties, and beauty shops, and your silly flirtations. Wasting your lives and neglecting your duties. Letting your children run wild for lack of sensible parental supervision.

  Lucy Morgan : Oh, you don't know American children. They're spoiled and disobedient, and drunken.

  Count DeHoven : Drunken? Yes, drunk with the exuberance of youth and sheer joy of living. There's nothing really wrong with the children of today. Nothing that proper environment and congenial home life wouldn't correct.

  Lucy Morgan : What do you expect us modern mothers to do?

  Count DeHoven : Quit trying to be butterflies. Get back to the business of being mothers, like your mother, and your grandmother, and generations of mothers before them.

• Lucy Morgan : What does it take to warm you up? Cocktails?

  Count DeHoven : No, just a nice girl.

  Lucy Morgan : Well, don't you think I'm nice?

  Count DeHoven : Oh, very.

  Lucy Morgan : Then, why are you so cold?

  Count DeHoven : After all, I was engaged as an escort. I'm supposed to play bridge, drink, dance and be charming generally. But, my agreement says nothing of throwing in love and necking - gratis.

  Lucy Morgan : Well, if you're going to be so mercenary about it, perhaps that can be arranged too.

• Count DeHoven : You don't know this dame. She's dynamite!

• Count DeHoven : My intentions? Strictly dishonorable, I assure you.

• Pearl, the Madam's Maid : What chu all doin', Miss Mazzie?

  Count DeHoven : I was just admiring this suit of armor. I'm rather of connoisseur of such things, you know.

  Pearl, the Madam's Maid : Oh, yes, sir. You sure is.

  Count DeHoven : Shall we go?

  [Count leaves with Helen, aka Mazzie] 

  Pearl, the Madam's Maid : Conno - sure? Man, that *is* a five dollar word! Mmm-mmm.

• Count DeHoven : I got my American citizenship papers yesterday and I've got a job. We'll get married and can live like self-respecting, self-supporting Americans should.