One Good Turn (1931)

Stan Laurel: Stan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Oliver : Now I see it all.

  Stanley : What?

  Oliver : "What". Don't try to alibi. You know you stole this money from that old lady. Why guilt is written all over you.

  Stanley : What do you mean?

  Oliver : I mean that you're going to give this money back and make a full confession!

  Stanley : A confession of what?

  Oliver : And to think after all these years I've been fostering a common theif. A viper in my bosom!

  Stanley : Whose bosom? What are you talking about?

  Oliver : Don't try to bluff me! To think you would bite the hand that was feeding you. You snake in the grass. You traitor! You sheep in wolf's clothing. You double-crosser. You Judas! You... You...!

  Stanley : Stop! Don't call me a "You-you".

• Oliver : My friend and I are victims of the Depression. We haven't tasted food for three whole days.

  Old lady : Fancy, not eating for three whole days!

  Stanley : Yes ma'am. Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

• Stanley : I don't know anything about cutting wood.

  Oliver : Well, you ought to. You once told me your father was in the lumber business.

  Stanley : I know he was, but it was only in a small way.

  Oliver : What do you mean small way?

  Stanley : He used to sell toothpicks.

  Oliver : Well, go ahead and make some toothpicks. Be a chip off of the old block.

• Oliver : One good turn deserves another.

  Stanley : So do I neither.

  Oliver : What do you mean, "so do I neither"?

• Stanley : What can we do?

  Oliver : We've got to raise a hundred dollars.

  Stanley : A hundred dollars?

  Oliver : Yes!

  Stanley : We couldn't even raise a thousand.

• Stanley : Where are we going?

  Oliver : Do I have to tell you everything?

  Stanley : Not everything.

  Oliver : Well, if you must know, we're going to humiliate ourselves by begging for food.

  Stanley : What? Again?

  Oliver : Crank the car.

• [first lines] 

  Oliver : What are you doing back there?

  Stanley : I was tasting the soup.

  Oliver : Well, stay away from that soup. Do something to help me!

• Stanley : Come out of there!

  Oliver : I won't! Now, you better leave me alone.

  Stanley : Come out of there, you big bozo.