Argylle (2024)
4/10
Stupid nonsense with a five minute Henry Cavill Bond demo reel
1 February 2024
Argylle is a long, dumb, CGI-riddled mess. In other words, it's the standard modern day Hollywood movie. Some aspects are fun but the whole thing drags on and on until you'll be checking your watch every five minutes in hopes that it will be over soon. There is an abundance of CGI and a lot of it is terrible(especially the cat) and it makes the movie look fake but that's the norm these days. I'm not even sure if they filmed any scenes in London because the exterior shots looked really bad to me. Some of the hand to hand combat is pretty decent but for the most part I didn't care about what was happening at all. Additionally, some of the twists in this worked but overall it just kept doing more and more of them and became a convoluted wreck.

Furthermore, the trailers and posters for this film straight up lie. They have you believe that Henry Cavill will be the star of the movie but he's in this for all of maybe five minutes at most. Those five minutes prove that he would be a great James Bond but I bet that will never happen because why make the correct choice and cast someone that is perfect for a role. Additionally, John Cena is in this for even less time and it makes me wonder why they even bothered casting him as he must've cost them a fair amount of money for what amounts to a cameo. The rest of the cast is fine and I like Sam Rockwell so it's nice to see him in a leading role. On the other hand, the comedy doesn't land at all and no one in my screening was laughing at any of the jokes. I think think the PG-13 rating hurts the movie by making it too tame and making it Rated R would've helped it a bit.. If this thing was made in the 90s it would've been much prettier, shorter, bloodier and most importantly, more fun. Argylle, however is just nonsensical, looks awful and overstays its welcome.
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