I thought they couldn't possibly write something even worse than F9, but here we are.
This movie is just excruciating to watch and the 2 hours felt like a really long 5 hour movie to me. It's just a dumb action scene after a dumb action scene that never ends, until the movie just ends out of nowhere. Like even filler TV show episodes have better story structures and endings than this.
This movie might be better than F9 for some, which is understandable since it's all because of Jason Momoa. Hell, I don't even remember a thing that happened in the last movie, but I won't forget Momoa's character here any time soon. So I get why this would be more watchable and better for some, if not most people because of Momoa, but I think it's worse and Momoa's character gets tired and annoying really fast.
The biggest problem of this movie is that the writers don't have the balls to actually kill a main character and actually hurt the "family". So instead they introduce new characters out of nowhere and bring back characters from Fast Five so they could kill them instead and make Dom care about them instead of actually killing his real "family". Because they already brought back so many characters from the dead that they know they would have to bring back the ones they kill here in Fast 13.
Not to mention all the unnecessary unfunny long scenes that contribute little to nothing to the story and only pad the runtime and make you want to do literally anything else but continue watching it, like the black market scene with the ever unfunny Pete Davidson.
There are just an awful amount of long useless scenes that make you more sleepy. This movie is a really good cure for insomnia.
Like if you cut 90% of Tej/Roman/Ramsey scenes, nothing changes here and actually helps the awful pacing of the movie and gets rid of unnecessary scenes that do nothing for the plot. But then again, it's the only time you have a breather between the awful action scene.
The story structure is just plain awful and the movie feels more like a bunch of random action scenes jumbled together than having an actual plot structure.
Compare this to the storytelling of Fast Five which this movie loves to use a lot of footage of it and retcon it's story, remind you how much better the writing and action scenes were, and basically ruin it. It's not like the old movies were masterpieces, but at least the writer knew how to keep the action somewhat grounded, and how to keep the characters interesting and to have a decent balance between action and dialogue and characterization.
Those movies were mediocrely written, but at least they were competently mediocre with actual story structures and characters that felt like real humans to some degree. They were actually entertaining because they did the bare minimum of keeping it grounded and realistic enough for your suspension of disbelief and also with the characters so you would care about them enough to watch a 2-hour movie of them doing all of that.
But these last two movies have just been some of the worst writings I've ever seen and they feel like they weren't even written by adult humans and with the worst dialogue imaginable. This one is particular feels like it's just a collage of some random bs they wrote on the story board.
They also try to make and take everything so seriously to a point that that alone makes it hilarious, now add a jester villain to the mix and you have this ridiculous amalgam of ridiculousness that wants you to take it seriously but you can't do anything but roll your eyes and facepalm.
The movie is already bad and you want it to end badly from very early on, but the ending itself is so bad that it's insulting honestly.
All of that with a lot of other problems that I do not care to list and waste any more time talking about this garbage, along with the fact that you already didn't care an ounce about these characters and stories in F9, make this movie worse than the previous one for me and gets a 1/10 from me. Somehow I feel like they can even go lower and deliver us an even worse mess of a movie with the next one, but the writers of that are apparently different and more experienced, so we have to wait and see but I doubt anyone could save this at this point. But, this movie sets the lowest bar possible, so you must be an actual genius to somehow write something worse than Fast X's script.
This movie is just excruciating to watch and the 2 hours felt like a really long 5 hour movie to me. It's just a dumb action scene after a dumb action scene that never ends, until the movie just ends out of nowhere. Like even filler TV show episodes have better story structures and endings than this.
This movie might be better than F9 for some, which is understandable since it's all because of Jason Momoa. Hell, I don't even remember a thing that happened in the last movie, but I won't forget Momoa's character here any time soon. So I get why this would be more watchable and better for some, if not most people because of Momoa, but I think it's worse and Momoa's character gets tired and annoying really fast.
The biggest problem of this movie is that the writers don't have the balls to actually kill a main character and actually hurt the "family". So instead they introduce new characters out of nowhere and bring back characters from Fast Five so they could kill them instead and make Dom care about them instead of actually killing his real "family". Because they already brought back so many characters from the dead that they know they would have to bring back the ones they kill here in Fast 13.
Not to mention all the unnecessary unfunny long scenes that contribute little to nothing to the story and only pad the runtime and make you want to do literally anything else but continue watching it, like the black market scene with the ever unfunny Pete Davidson.
There are just an awful amount of long useless scenes that make you more sleepy. This movie is a really good cure for insomnia.
Like if you cut 90% of Tej/Roman/Ramsey scenes, nothing changes here and actually helps the awful pacing of the movie and gets rid of unnecessary scenes that do nothing for the plot. But then again, it's the only time you have a breather between the awful action scene.
The story structure is just plain awful and the movie feels more like a bunch of random action scenes jumbled together than having an actual plot structure.
Compare this to the storytelling of Fast Five which this movie loves to use a lot of footage of it and retcon it's story, remind you how much better the writing and action scenes were, and basically ruin it. It's not like the old movies were masterpieces, but at least the writer knew how to keep the action somewhat grounded, and how to keep the characters interesting and to have a decent balance between action and dialogue and characterization.
Those movies were mediocrely written, but at least they were competently mediocre with actual story structures and characters that felt like real humans to some degree. They were actually entertaining because they did the bare minimum of keeping it grounded and realistic enough for your suspension of disbelief and also with the characters so you would care about them enough to watch a 2-hour movie of them doing all of that.
But these last two movies have just been some of the worst writings I've ever seen and they feel like they weren't even written by adult humans and with the worst dialogue imaginable. This one is particular feels like it's just a collage of some random bs they wrote on the story board.
They also try to make and take everything so seriously to a point that that alone makes it hilarious, now add a jester villain to the mix and you have this ridiculous amalgam of ridiculousness that wants you to take it seriously but you can't do anything but roll your eyes and facepalm.
The movie is already bad and you want it to end badly from very early on, but the ending itself is so bad that it's insulting honestly.
All of that with a lot of other problems that I do not care to list and waste any more time talking about this garbage, along with the fact that you already didn't care an ounce about these characters and stories in F9, make this movie worse than the previous one for me and gets a 1/10 from me. Somehow I feel like they can even go lower and deliver us an even worse mess of a movie with the next one, but the writers of that are apparently different and more experienced, so we have to wait and see but I doubt anyone could save this at this point. But, this movie sets the lowest bar possible, so you must be an actual genius to somehow write something worse than Fast X's script.