Cold Hearts (1999)
7/10
Reality Bites meets The Lost Soy Boys with a generous dollop of Blood & Chocolate!
9 February 2023
Indie filmmaker, Robert A. Masciantonio engaging emo-vampire feature is appealingly set within a lively New Jersey seaside suburb, where the garish lure of sandy beaches and noisome amusement parks attracts a constant flow of transient, thrill-seeking tourists, and the handsome predatory vampire master, Charles (Christopher Wiehl) hungrily haunts this briny locale with his subservient, but no less malign entourage of plasma lusting, voluminously-panted goons!

'Cold Hearts' is an earnest, romantically-inclined Gen-X drama wherein benign vampire besties, Viktoria, Alicia (Marisa Ryan) (Amy Joe Johnson) and their fiesty gay chum, Darius (Jon Huertas) endeavour to cope with the ceaseless existential malaise of living, fitfully loving, and reluctantly feeding as angsty, navel-gazing vampires. Their precarious existence constantly threatened by the violent oppression of malevolent master vampire, Charles's arbitrarily murderous peccadilloes. When tough cookie, Vicki fatefully falls for studly hero, Seth (Robert Floyd) the simmering internecine tensions erupt climactically in a bestial beach front beatdown! While the preponderance of heartfelt 'chat' may alienate gorehounds, less bloodthirsty viewers may still appreciate that the seemingly forgotten 'Cold Hearts' remains an entertaining, strongly acted, dramatically full-bloodied romp that sweetly suggests some vampires are not quite so cold hearted as the legends would have us believe! The soundtrack rocks, with an especially poignant use of Temple of The Dog's evocative 'Say Hello 2 Heaven'.
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