1) Find a popular movie that is due in theaters soon.
2) Get a bloated, past their prime actor or actress to star in it so you can put their name on the credits.
3) Find some young desperate actors or actresses willing to do anything to break into the business.
4) Add some low quality CGI effects made by some nerd on their computer.
5) Stretch out ten minutes of actual story into an hour and a half of walking around in front of green screens or some desert or forest preserve.
So the plot here is that a ship crashed on a desert planet and the surviving crew is menaced by sandworms. The movie spends an agonizing hour and a half having our characters avoid getting eaten.
Our bloated actor for today is Sean Young, who just retroactively killed all my teenage fantasies from watching her in Blade Runner and the 1984 Dune. Time has NOT been kind. Young has had a troubled history since her heyday in the 1980's, and I should be glad she is getting some kind of work. I think they had her for a day.
The spaceship CGI doesn't look bad, but the alien worm monster CGI looks just awful.
And that's about it. It's a chore to watch. I don't even think Asylum is fooling anyone at this point, we all know what we are in for...
2) Get a bloated, past their prime actor or actress to star in it so you can put their name on the credits.
3) Find some young desperate actors or actresses willing to do anything to break into the business.
4) Add some low quality CGI effects made by some nerd on their computer.
5) Stretch out ten minutes of actual story into an hour and a half of walking around in front of green screens or some desert or forest preserve.
So the plot here is that a ship crashed on a desert planet and the surviving crew is menaced by sandworms. The movie spends an agonizing hour and a half having our characters avoid getting eaten.
Our bloated actor for today is Sean Young, who just retroactively killed all my teenage fantasies from watching her in Blade Runner and the 1984 Dune. Time has NOT been kind. Young has had a troubled history since her heyday in the 1980's, and I should be glad she is getting some kind of work. I think they had her for a day.
The spaceship CGI doesn't look bad, but the alien worm monster CGI looks just awful.
And that's about it. It's a chore to watch. I don't even think Asylum is fooling anyone at this point, we all know what we are in for...