Screamtime (1983)
5/10
Not The Best Compilation Of Stories Put To Video.
28 July 2022
Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of Screamtime; here's the breakdown of my ratings:

Story: 0.75 Direction: 0.75 Pace: 0.75 Acting: 1.25 Enjoyment: 1.00

TOTAL: 4.50 out of 10.00

I do love a good horror compilation - Sadly, Screamtime is not one of them. And the reason for the movie's downfall would be the stories and the direction.

The first story, "That's The Way You Do It," offered the best opportunity to give the audience a good scare and a nasty twist or two. However, writer and director Michael Armstrong opted for the all-too-commonplace dark thriller route. However, what he does splendidly is to build the image of a dysfunctional family. A single mother moves in with an older man who makes his living by performing Punch and Judy shows on the Brighton seafront. Into this new relationship, she drags her angry and bullish son. Suffering from idolism where his father is concerned, he sees the new bloke as a wimp and a freak. The guy plays with dolls for a living, after all. He makes it his job to bully and break the puppeteer, even if it means destroying the man's livelihood. Armstrong doesn't go for the shock factor in the writing, though he and Stanley Long don't do too badly putting it into the filming. Deducing the outcome of this tale was easy, especially if you've read or watched a few dark thrillers and horror shorts.

The second story, "Dream House," is the best. Here we watch as the wife and mother of a family is slowly driven insane by the strange apparitions within the family's new home. It isn't until the final segment that we realise the truth behind her supernatural events. It's this reveal that slid a sliver of ice down my spine. The one letdown of this story is that it's woefully short. If Armstrong had included similar strong characterisations as he showed in the first tale, this little piece would have been near perfect.

Then we get to the strangest and weakest story of the picture, "Do You Believe In Fairies?" A guy looking to make a quick quid takes a job in the home of two old dears. The rumours about the town have this pair of women distrusting banks and keeping their money, jewels, and valuables under lock and key somewhere in the house. Taking a job as caretaker-come-gardener gives him the ideal opportunity to search out the treasure. Unbeknown to him, the two old dears are not what they appear to be, and they have ulterior motives for hiring him. Sadly, Armstrong has opted for a more humourous tongue-in-cheek approach for this short. It works where the ladies are involved, but it makes the rest of the story a tad too light and jovial. I would have used the women's upbeat personas to add extra darkness to the narrative; therefore, the reveal would have been more chilling and not, Oh Yeah - Of Course!

The directors are not the best filmmakers I've seen. On the whole, they tend to use a standard approach. There's not much in the way of eye candy or captivating cinematography, though both attempt to draw the audience's attention to the pivotal scenes by utilising intriguing and varied camera angles or employing dark shadows. Sadly, it feels contrived, and along with the below-par tales of terror, it actually takes power away from the stories.

The best thing about this collection is the cast. We have some steady regulars of the British stage and screen. Unfortunately, they are not enough to lift this movie above its averageness. Jonathon Morris, who later went to star in Bread, shows what a talent he was as the bully-boy of the first tale. Dora Bryan and Jean Anderson are perfect as the old dears. But David Van Day, who plays their caretaker, displays the reason he left acting for singing and Bucks Fizz.

Screamtime is your one-watch movie - but it shouldn't be too high on your watch list. In fact, it should be quite near the bottom, just above "Watching Paint Dry." It was okay to pass a wet afternoon, but I can't see myself watching it again.

Now leave Punch and Judy alone, and put down that truncheon. You need to check out my Absolute Horror and Obsidian Dream lists to see where I ranked Screamtime.

Take Care & Stay Well.
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