Review of Slaxx

Slaxx (2020)
4/10
You got your social issue in my killer jeans movie
9 April 2022
And I was looking forward to this one. Too many lazy modern horror trappings for my taste. The cast is almost exclusively made up of insufferable, obnoxious, one-dimensional, self-absorbed Millenials (along with one sane person, the new girl, Libby, who is borderline-useless), there are several serious lapses in logic, all done for the convenience of the plot, most of the kills happen offscreen (I remember one gruesome kill, otherwise, let's just throw blood at the walls), and, well, let's have a silly movie about killer designer jeans have a SERIOUS MESSAGE. Say what? Yup, serious real-world message about child labor, and as one would expect, it gets the Certified Fresh seal of approval. Literally, the only way a horror movie gets a pass from the critics, is if it has a message or a racial issue, is historical, or has funny accents or subtitles. Would the critics know a clever, creative, quality horror movie if it came up and bit them on the rear end? Absolutely not. Literally, their only criteria is it has to be "important" (or foreign) to be any good. I enjoyed Slaxx to a point. I could not NOT watch a movie about a killer pair of jeans, and I did like how the origin story tied in. But the plot contrivances (never mind hating basically everyone in this) are real hard to ignore. One such thing I saw on Superstore, and I thought it was idiotic then.

If you sat through the sorriest of sorry assortment of DVD extras included like I did, you'd also realize what a pill this director is.
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