Patsy & Loretta (2019 TV Movie)
5/10
GOD NO
6 February 2022
Omg, where do I start?

Patsy Cline was a gifted contralto who could sing at least two octaves without losing the fullness of the nótes. Her voice, even in songs like "Honky Tonk Merry Go Round" stayed silky, seductive and personal. She sang every song as if it is personal, which is why her voice is unmistakable whether it's paired with violins or cowbells. She knew how to make it her own.

Megan Hilty, a terrific Broadway singer, doesn't just sing a song. She belts it out so the people the back can hear her. She has a greater vocal range, but not the same ability or carve a note out from a song and leave it hanging in the air. That's why her rendition of "Crazy" sounds less like Patsy "making love to the audience" (as Owen Bradley said of Patsy's voice), and more like Ethel Merman telling us that "there's NO business like SHOW business,"

It's the wrong voice for the character. It wouldn't be a big deal but this is a movie about singers with the wrong kind of singing voices.

Jessie Mueller does a better job with Loretta Lynn's fragile, near shouting way of singing. She nails the pauses and breathing that Lynn puts into her songs. She's a little off with the look and the notes, but she does a pretty good job.

The accents in this movie are GODAWFUL. Couldn't Lifetime have spring for a dialect coach? It's as bad as watching a whole movie of David Boreanaz pretending to be the Irish Angelus.

Finally, the film itself is poorly paced. It feels as if we are waiting for a Yoplait or Progressive commercial every 15 minutes. There's a story to be told here, but this isn't the film to tell it,

Watch "Sweet Dreams" or "Coal Miner's Daughter." They are far better films with far better acting and music.
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