Getting Any? (1994)
5/10
Carry On Takeshi
13 July 2021
Warning: Spoilers
With comedian the occupation that initially made 'Beat' Takeshi famous, it was always inevitable that sooner or later Takeshi Kitano would move to make a comedy film. But it's probably fair to say that "Getting Any?" isn't really directed by Kitano, with his TV personality alter-ego taking change of all aspects in a film with violence and art pushed aside for pure comedy. But like the majority of comedy films, sooner or later the joke wears thin.

And the sole joke of "Getting Any?" is very thin indeed. Asao (Duncan) is a bum with no money, but more importantly, no girlfriend. Which is a shame for him, as he appears to be obsessed with sex. But far from sitting at home doing, well, nothing about it, he practically sets about trying to get the things he needs to get himself lucky. What then follows is a string of failed attempts to get what he sees as a means to get laid.

Buying a sports car; having a business class plane ticket; having lots of money; becoming a famous actor; becoming invisible, all these are things which Asao tries, but all answer the film's title with a simple 'no.'

'Beat' Takeshi is poking fun at his character; a man with no use or intelligence, and taking him through an endless string of degrading activities in pursuit of the most basic of human needs. There is nothing redeeming about him apart from his naïve ignorance at everything in the world around him. But he's a plucky individual who will go along with anything, however embarrassing, to achieve his goal.

Clearly, this is not plot-heavy and is more a string of extended sketches about a hapless character trying to get lucky. But as the film progresses, he gets less likeable, going from a naïve innocent to a raging pervert by its conclusion. To start it's funny (if a little last century), as he drives around in his clapped out, second-hand sports car, pulling up to bus stops to offer women 'car sex?' But it's the two middle sequences, where he tries his hand at becoming a film star and a yakuza hitman where the film loses its way.

These scenes are overly-long, introduce some bizarre characters and seem to detract from the film's original aim. While a break from relentless sex comedy is perhaps necessary, here Asao feels more like a passenger than driving the film and they could have been lifted into another film without requiring much change. As stated, this feels more like sketches featuring one recurring character than a coherent narrative.

The introduction of 'Beat' Takeshi as a mad scientist who experiments to make Asao invisible so he can perv in a local bathhouse brings the story back on track and returns some of the comedy. But it also sees the film delve into even less than politically correct areas, and, like the worst Carry On films, sees this descend into little more than a sex comedy romp where no one really knows why they're there anymore.

Takeshi uses parody throughout, with Zatoichi films, "The Fly", "Ghostbusters" and "Beat It" all lampooned, among others. Indeed, the possibility of a kaiju spoof at the end is promised, but ultimately doesn't really become fully developed. The best comedy, however, is more in the little moments that pop-up throughout. These are often delightfully obscure, little to do with the plot, but the most entertaining aspect of the film.

The car salesman repeatedly bops a young child on the head for eating lollipops in the showroom; Susumu Terajima drops in as an injured yakuza for no reason; and the attempts to rob a businessman who carries his cash everywhere with him bring a number of laughs. The film ends a big pile of manure, but these moments offer some bizarre genius along the way.

But ultimately, this is all just a bit silly. It's the Takeshi of "Takeshi's Castle" on display, rather than the increasingly serious director which Kitano was starting to emerge as. This is a film where the 'Beat' Takeshi versus Takeshi Kitano duality is very much one-sided, but ultimately its downfall. Switching TV comedy to the big screen is often doomed to failure, and Takeshi's comedy struggles for an extended runtime. Indeed, the slight hints of humour in his other work are much more effective than the more blatant attempts here, with his comedy film his, at times, least funny.

But was it ever meant to be? This came at a time after the seeming suicide note of "Sonatine" and when increasing on-edge behaviour seemed to dominate, resulting in his infamous motorbike accident. "Getting Any?" seems an attempt to destroy a lot of the good work he had been building up to then, but he would return with some of his most personal and best films.

"Getting Any?" is a mad collection of some brilliant humour, but also some just inexplicable moments you're not sure how to take. The narrative arc, however, just isn't strong enough to hold it all together. Sex comedy can only go so far, and to get anywhere, sometimes you have to be a little more serious.

Politic1983.home.blog.
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