I have to admit, I am torn on this one: an honest rating for this production would be 2/10, but it's so incredibly bad it's amazing! I was crying and wheezing from laughter by the end of the second part. Sure, it's hard to get there, but by the end you wish there was more. Move aside, Peter Jackson, there's a new hero in town!
Literally everything about this movie is either pure nonsense or so incompetently done one is left speechless. Perhaps the heart was in the right place, but the execution (and the budget) couldn't have been poorer.
I won't go into details over the CGI (remember, it was before the "cool CGI era") or the plot, you have to see it for yourself. No words can describe what my eyes have suffered. The VFX were so amateurish they couldn't really film most of the 'epic' adventures so they had to invent hilarious 'go-arounds' or leave the job to the narrator who suddenly appears mid-scene and takes over, staring into your soul with his deep, black eyes...
The dialogues are an untapped meme material: "Gandalf's prophecy was true: winter came!" (NO WAY, Gandalf!!) I think I cried a couple of times. The editing is equally bad - so bad it looks intentional. For instance, the Fellowship would lament losing its member in battle despite the fact that he was present in the previous sequence! Wtf? Why?! I have so many questions. And most of them are probably about the horribly mismatched cast - who, incidentally, all have Tommy Wiseau's (over-)acting talents. Legolas is played by a woman, Galadriel is in her 50s, Aragorn looks barely 19 and fresh out of school, hobbits are a bunch of middle-aged alcoholic dudes and Elrond looks like a gym guy from Aberdeen. It couldn't have been more amiss had they tried!
Seriously, imagine LotR with Tommy Wiseau playing every part (including Galadriel), combine it with the VFX of 'Birdemic' and you'll get the picture. Oh, and Neil Breen probably wrote the script.
It's painful, it's horrible, it's FANTASTIC - if you're into 'so bad it's good' films. And if you expect to see Jackson-like quality here, NO. Run, you fools! It is but for the strong-willed.
8 poorly costumed dark riders out of 9.
(Oh, and did you know they only had 3 horses between them? Well, they did! Sorry Tolkien, that's the new canon now)
Literally everything about this movie is either pure nonsense or so incompetently done one is left speechless. Perhaps the heart was in the right place, but the execution (and the budget) couldn't have been poorer.
I won't go into details over the CGI (remember, it was before the "cool CGI era") or the plot, you have to see it for yourself. No words can describe what my eyes have suffered. The VFX were so amateurish they couldn't really film most of the 'epic' adventures so they had to invent hilarious 'go-arounds' or leave the job to the narrator who suddenly appears mid-scene and takes over, staring into your soul with his deep, black eyes...
The dialogues are an untapped meme material: "Gandalf's prophecy was true: winter came!" (NO WAY, Gandalf!!) I think I cried a couple of times. The editing is equally bad - so bad it looks intentional. For instance, the Fellowship would lament losing its member in battle despite the fact that he was present in the previous sequence! Wtf? Why?! I have so many questions. And most of them are probably about the horribly mismatched cast - who, incidentally, all have Tommy Wiseau's (over-)acting talents. Legolas is played by a woman, Galadriel is in her 50s, Aragorn looks barely 19 and fresh out of school, hobbits are a bunch of middle-aged alcoholic dudes and Elrond looks like a gym guy from Aberdeen. It couldn't have been more amiss had they tried!
Seriously, imagine LotR with Tommy Wiseau playing every part (including Galadriel), combine it with the VFX of 'Birdemic' and you'll get the picture. Oh, and Neil Breen probably wrote the script.
It's painful, it's horrible, it's FANTASTIC - if you're into 'so bad it's good' films. And if you expect to see Jackson-like quality here, NO. Run, you fools! It is but for the strong-willed.
8 poorly costumed dark riders out of 9.
(Oh, and did you know they only had 3 horses between them? Well, they did! Sorry Tolkien, that's the new canon now)