Home Sweet Home (I) (2020)
4/10
Egads. No.
20 September 2020
"Home Sweet Home" is about coffee barista Victoria, who goes from guy to guy in her relationships. She gets a crush on Jason, a guy who was recently hired by her boss' megachurch, and who also happens to run a charity for building homes for people. She volunteers for it just to get closer to him, only to discover that everyone there is Christian, and knows what they're doing. As she's used to faking things, she learns a few bits of Christian lingo and some things about building. Just as Victoria and Jason start to bond, both of their old flings enter the picture, threatening to ruin things. I'd put a spoiler alert here, but... well... it's a predictable rom-com, so I imagine half the readers of this review knew where the story was headed as soon as the premise was said.

Part of the problem with this movie is that the acting can be bad. To be fair, a lot of the performances aren't TOO bad (Natasha Bure and Krista Kalmus actually do a decent job in their roles), but others will leave you underwhelmed. Ben Elliott felt like he was trying to be the Christian version of Robert Pattinson - and that probably is all you need to know. Even more hilarious is one scene where he was supposed to be distressed, but all he does is stand there and breathe heavily. Seriously, my wife and I were cracking up at that part, and actually rewound it a few times to watch it again. It became a meme for the rest of the movie, and we referenced a few times in other "Christian" movies we watched.

Part of the problem is how goofy the script can be. For example, when Victoria finds out the people she works with are Christians, she actually Googles HOW TO TALK LIKE A CHRISTIAN. I'm not making this up. And she only learns like three catch phrases. Really? Watch a clip of IFB preachers, and you might learn ten more. On top of this, Victoria is later shocked - SHOCKED, I tell you - that BIBLE STUDIES are a thing! Whoa, Bible studies?! What sorcery is this?! I mean c'mon, have the screen writers NEVER spoken with non-Christians before? Even the most die-hard, Christopher Hitchens school, foam-at-the-mouth atheists I've known would at least have some idea of how Christians talk, or would have some idea that Bible studies existed. Then later on it's revealed that her grandmother, who raised her and her sister, was a Christian... which you would think would have given her a chance to learn a few things about Christianity. Even her sister is revealed, while not being overly religious, to have at least some knowledge of Christianity - so, again, how did Victoria get as ignorant as a Martian straight off the spaceship?

Another part of the problem is, as I suggested earlier, the movie just gets way too formulaic. In fact, the cliches and tropes whop you like the hammers the characters banged nails with. The climactic kiss, for example, happens in the rain. Also, you know that old cliche where someone drops a fork, and two characters bend down to pick it up, accidentally touch hands, and look at each other all goo-goo eyed? Oh yeah, this movie has that, only with a tool instead of a fork. I'm not kidding. They actually do that in this movie. And the third act breakup? Yup, this movie has it, because what's a rom-com movie without the predictable and overdone third act break up? And like many third act break ups, it makes NO SENSE. Right after Victoria has helped them build a house they thought they were never going to be able to finish, and right after Victoria and Jason have clearly shown attraction for each other, Jason explodes at Victoria after her former fling shows up again and tries to ask her out. Most guys, you would think, would at least give her a chance to explain herself, but Jason? Nope, just some heavy breathing and then slamming of truck doors. It's even more hilarious when Victoria admits to a friend that she's not really a Christian. The friend says "You didn't have to lie, we would have loved you any way"... then proceeds to storm off in an angry huff. Wow. You sure did show her some Christian love. Seriously, I'm a church-going, Bible-believing Christian, and this movie had me rooting for the NON-CHRISTIAN characters at this point.

And, of course, there's the theological issues with this movie. On this note, I highly recommend lyrafowlpotter's review, which goes into really great detail on just why this film fails even as a "Christian" movie. Anything I say would only be repeating her review. The only thing I might add is I was really amused by how little Jason's fellow Christian friends sought to protect him from Victoria. For example, the husband of Victoria's boss, who knows what a man-eater she is, only says she's trouble, and leaves it at that. You'd think he'd be all like, "Buddy, that girl's gonna break your heart - STAY AWAY from her." Heck, you'd think people would be quoting THE BIBLE to warn Jason. Man, if only there were, like, entire sections of Proverbs warning young men about sinful women who like to sleep around and seduce men...

Like I said, this movie could have been cute, and it's not the worst one I've ever seen, which is why I gave it at least four stars. However, if you're looking for something that is semi-decent or might edify you a bit more than the average t-shirt at Lifeway, you might want to look elsewhere. On the other hand, if you want to get it and do the Christian version of Mystery Science Theater 3000, by all means go ahead.
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