Aquaslash (2019)
1/10
Embarrassing
12 July 2020
Everything about this movie screams "overconfidence", "obnoxiousness" and "incompetence". Not only do none of the character actions make any sense, but we don't even understand their relationships to one another. It's extremely easy to mistake one character for a different one because all of them are boring, one-dimensional tools with no believability.

Besides the atrocious acting and non-existent characters, the sound design in this movie is embarrassing. Whenever they're too lazy to actually do any sound editing, they just put public-domain-sounding ambient music over the top of the visuals. The appalling editing isn't helped by the fact that almost every shot is either way too close to the actors, or too far away. There is no spatial awareness in the film-making.

Even if you're looking for a goofy, no-brained slasher, this won't appease you at all. There's hardly any kills, and when the big set-piece happens, it's so dumb and poorly conceived that you'll just end up frustrated. The only way any conflict comes about, is from characters acting like aliens who've all received lobotomies.

Aquaslash is one of those movies made by talentless tools who think one mediocre kill is enough to base an entire movie around. Don't watch it unless you want to cringe and feel embarrassed for all involved.
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