Pirates (1986)
5/10
Uneven, but kind of fun
7 February 2019
Back when I was a kid, this was one of the movies we taped from TV and watched several times. Turns out it's so obscure the imdb search function doesn't even turn it up when you write the exact title..

As an adult, I learned that the critics hated it for being messy, jumbled, and for Polanski's morbid sense of humor. This didn't really surprise me - as a kid I could never get a grasp of the plot, but I remembered the rat dinner scene *very* well, and I didn't laugh.

Rewatching it as an adult, I agree it's messy and has tonal issues. Is it an action/adventure movie, a light comedy, or a black comedy? There's a kind of nihilism to it, but then there's also a lot of innocent slapstick. Either way the sets and costumes remain fantastic, the acting is uniformly excellent (with one important exception), and there are a lot of great details, especially in the Captain's interaction with other characters, that I didn't discover before. I also enjoy the score.

However, another thing that strikes me as an adult, is exactly how terrible Cris Campion's performance as the Frog is. The man doesn't act. He has this sad-eyed/gloomy/tired look that you sometimes think is his acting, but then you realize he has that same expression all throughout the movie! And with his role being so central, and the others acting so well, he really stands out. And it really hurts the movie, not least the love story. (Except the moment when they kiss under that bed. I...like that moment.) I realize it was Campion's first movie, and that's probably why, but what was Polanski thinking, casting a newcomer in a lead role like that?

Come to think of it, it reminds me of Orlando Bloom's casting in the equivalent "passionate lover" role in Pirates of the Caribbean. They hadn't realized yet what a terrible actor he is, because as Legolas he was meant to be stone-faced. I'm not sure who was worse... Maybe Campion.

One more thing: Anyone else find the "eating the Frog" scene ridiculous? Yes you'd feel thirsty, but the hunger dulls after a while of starving, and even if you felt the hunger, there's no way you'd have the energy to chase someone like that after days (weeks?) on a raft. You'd be exhausted from the sun.

Oh well. It was fun to see the movie again.
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