HATTON GARDEN THE HEIST is a low rent British crime thriller based on the true story of a bunch of old geezers who pulled off one of the most audacious robberies in recent years. It was obviously rushed out in a hurry as soon as the crime took place, in order to beat at least two more bigger-budgeted versions of the tale. Sadly, the film's haste in production means that it's an absolutely dog of a movie, and I'm not surprised I'm the first to review it. The script is appalling - a bunch of boring old men spewing profanities and little else - and there's a singular lack of suspense when the heist actually takes place. It amused me to see Michael McKell, a former TV soap actor (of DOCTORS fame), in the lead role.