*Dring! Dring!*
"Hey babe...it's me. I was figuring baby that you and I should catch a movie tonight...ya dig? Yeah? Well baby I hear there this new romance film in the cinema. A love story that spans cultures, I understand. Baby. Y'see it's all about this English fella, goes to Thailand to do a travelogue but then he accidentally kills this local fella and runs for it, which is a shame because he was enjoying the kickboxing.
"So he heads up river even though he's told not to and gets his guide killed, then gets captured by this tribe who think he's a fish, although he says "I'm a man not a fish!" and they all want to kill him except the chief's daughter Me Me Lai, who keeps giving him the glad eye. Told you it was romantic. Baby.
"So the English fella's getting fed up being poked with bamboo and being tied up but I guess they get used to him and let him go, because he becomes part of the tribe eventually. What do you mean it sounds like I've seen the film already? What? Of course not! It just had a really big review in the local paper, babe. Just tryna convince you to go, ya dig? I'm just saying that the guy's torn between escaping (during which he kills the top tribal warrior) and his growing love for Me Me Lai.
"Another problem is that just up the river there's this tribe of cannibals who the other tribe hate, who are punished for cannibalism by having their tongues cut out, who then attack the other tribe and end up raping and killing this woman which leads the English fella to What? I told you I haven't seen it! What isn't romantic? I suppose the guy eating the girl's arm is erm I hear Elliot Gould is the head cannibal if that helps.
"But it's a love story! Why else would they celebrate the birth of their child by slitting a goat's throat hello? Hello?...damn ."
"Hey babe...it's me. I was figuring baby that you and I should catch a movie tonight...ya dig? Yeah? Well baby I hear there this new romance film in the cinema. A love story that spans cultures, I understand. Baby. Y'see it's all about this English fella, goes to Thailand to do a travelogue but then he accidentally kills this local fella and runs for it, which is a shame because he was enjoying the kickboxing.
"So he heads up river even though he's told not to and gets his guide killed, then gets captured by this tribe who think he's a fish, although he says "I'm a man not a fish!" and they all want to kill him except the chief's daughter Me Me Lai, who keeps giving him the glad eye. Told you it was romantic. Baby.
"So the English fella's getting fed up being poked with bamboo and being tied up but I guess they get used to him and let him go, because he becomes part of the tribe eventually. What do you mean it sounds like I've seen the film already? What? Of course not! It just had a really big review in the local paper, babe. Just tryna convince you to go, ya dig? I'm just saying that the guy's torn between escaping (during which he kills the top tribal warrior) and his growing love for Me Me Lai.
"Another problem is that just up the river there's this tribe of cannibals who the other tribe hate, who are punished for cannibalism by having their tongues cut out, who then attack the other tribe and end up raping and killing this woman which leads the English fella to What? I told you I haven't seen it! What isn't romantic? I suppose the guy eating the girl's arm is erm I hear Elliot Gould is the head cannibal if that helps.
"But it's a love story! Why else would they celebrate the birth of their child by slitting a goat's throat hello? Hello?...damn ."