OMFG will someone PLEASE STOP GIVING UWE BOLL MONEY!!!
I got up today to find this playing on TV... didn't catch the very start but that obviously does not matter at all.. and within a cpl min I was questioning if they were seriously this idiotic or if they were trying to make this movie this bad intentionally..
Well.. stupid me.. wasted time actually watching more of this craptacular pile of steaming ... no wait.. that's too polite a description.. and a pile like that at least would be useful as fertilizer..
Suffice to say watching this continued while feeding my youngest son his lunch (Thankfully he's too young to understand any of this) and it just kept getting worse.. and worse.. and WORSE.. and WWWWWOOOORRRRSSEEEEE!!!!!!
AMC.. the channel that has helped with some spectacularly good Zombie action (Walking Dead anyone?) and a few other excellent shows.. but has it's head firmly up up it's collective ass with idiotic butchering of movies was happy to put this on and then it's sequel (which can't help but be better since UWE is not involved).. and edited it for language.. but did not have the decency to cut out the entire film and substitute a simple still shot saying:
This is a test of the EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM
This film is directed by UWE BOLL.
Turn the channel NOW to save your sanity and lock the doors since the world is obviously ending when we have run out of garbage to put on TV and are reduced broadcasting this crap..
But don't worry.. we edited out the language so your sensitive ears won't ever hear profanity!!!!.. (We can't control the profanity undoubtedly being uttered by all of those watching this crap)
Now laugh all you want.. this review is idiotic and absurd.. and its intentionally so.. but at least this has saved you from wasting time of your life you will never get back from watching this load of total steaming sh*t (Seriously IMDb? Have to edit this word?? /facepalm @ that being as stupid and idiotic as AMC's butchering of films. Both pathetic and extremely childish esp since kids know that word very well by the time they hit school!) from UB...
Now as the title says:
OMFG will someone PLEASE STOP GIVING UWE BOLL MONEY!!!
Seriously!!! The man destroys everything he ever touches and some idiots keep giving him $ to make more movies..
Hell even his disaster version of AD&D.. which basically writes it'self it's so fantastically easy to get right.. and he managed to butcher it to death in a horrific fashion..
They gave him Bloodrayne, AD&D and at least a dozen others with potential... again craptacular garbage from hell every single time.... his touch is like King Midas only its CRAP instead of gold!
There seriously needs to be a public safety warning with everything that man ever touches!! Hell even his breathing or uttering the words related to any movie does untold damage to us all!
So for the sake of the children, puppies, kittens and whatever else you can add into that.. STOP GIVING HIM MONEY to make movies!!!
FFS
Pay him to NOT make movies and we will all be better off!!
Seriously!!!!
This pathetic excuse for a movie is just abysmal.. and while I've worked in the industry and am prod of some of the good stuff we have done here in Canada.. this is NOT one of them and the fact he was even allowed into the country to film this is worthy of investigation since it's an abomination to our film industry and whomever issued him the permits needed needs to be fired!!!
So review boiled down for those that want to skip to the end:
To quote the great Monty Python:
RUN AWAY!!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!
I got up today to find this playing on TV... didn't catch the very start but that obviously does not matter at all.. and within a cpl min I was questioning if they were seriously this idiotic or if they were trying to make this movie this bad intentionally..
Well.. stupid me.. wasted time actually watching more of this craptacular pile of steaming ... no wait.. that's too polite a description.. and a pile like that at least would be useful as fertilizer..
Suffice to say watching this continued while feeding my youngest son his lunch (Thankfully he's too young to understand any of this) and it just kept getting worse.. and worse.. and WORSE.. and WWWWWOOOORRRRSSEEEEE!!!!!!
AMC.. the channel that has helped with some spectacularly good Zombie action (Walking Dead anyone?) and a few other excellent shows.. but has it's head firmly up up it's collective ass with idiotic butchering of movies was happy to put this on and then it's sequel (which can't help but be better since UWE is not involved).. and edited it for language.. but did not have the decency to cut out the entire film and substitute a simple still shot saying:
This is a test of the EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM
This film is directed by UWE BOLL.
Turn the channel NOW to save your sanity and lock the doors since the world is obviously ending when we have run out of garbage to put on TV and are reduced broadcasting this crap..
But don't worry.. we edited out the language so your sensitive ears won't ever hear profanity!!!!.. (We can't control the profanity undoubtedly being uttered by all of those watching this crap)
Now laugh all you want.. this review is idiotic and absurd.. and its intentionally so.. but at least this has saved you from wasting time of your life you will never get back from watching this load of total steaming sh*t (Seriously IMDb? Have to edit this word?? /facepalm @ that being as stupid and idiotic as AMC's butchering of films. Both pathetic and extremely childish esp since kids know that word very well by the time they hit school!) from UB...
Now as the title says:
OMFG will someone PLEASE STOP GIVING UWE BOLL MONEY!!!
Seriously!!! The man destroys everything he ever touches and some idiots keep giving him $ to make more movies..
Hell even his disaster version of AD&D.. which basically writes it'self it's so fantastically easy to get right.. and he managed to butcher it to death in a horrific fashion..
They gave him Bloodrayne, AD&D and at least a dozen others with potential... again craptacular garbage from hell every single time.... his touch is like King Midas only its CRAP instead of gold!
There seriously needs to be a public safety warning with everything that man ever touches!! Hell even his breathing or uttering the words related to any movie does untold damage to us all!
So for the sake of the children, puppies, kittens and whatever else you can add into that.. STOP GIVING HIM MONEY to make movies!!!
FFS
Pay him to NOT make movies and we will all be better off!!
Seriously!!!!
This pathetic excuse for a movie is just abysmal.. and while I've worked in the industry and am prod of some of the good stuff we have done here in Canada.. this is NOT one of them and the fact he was even allowed into the country to film this is worthy of investigation since it's an abomination to our film industry and whomever issued him the permits needed needs to be fired!!!
So review boiled down for those that want to skip to the end:
To quote the great Monty Python:
RUN AWAY!!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!