Jontron was right! Nostalgia Critic was right! Animat was right! Phantomstrider was right!
Why didn't I listen to them?!
This is an animated feature about a dog named Dex Dogtective who's played by Charlie Sheen and gets depressed after his girlfriend Sunshine Goodness disappears. After a brand called Brand X, controlled by Lady X begins to take over the food market that he and a bunch of grocery mascots live in, they must fight back.
Where do I begin? The animation is hideous; it's the worst animation ever put to film, I'm not even kidding here. It was originally destined to be in a Looney Tunes style when planned in 2002, but when the film went into production issues, the director decided that they should change the style to motion capture. Seeing these two styles combined makes the movie look unnatural. The animation itself looks ugly from the character designs, to the awful effects, to the backgrounds, the list goes on. Ranging from the human designs to the designs of the mascots, they either look unnatural or uncanny. For example, Lady X looks very plastic like and Cheasel T. Weasel has the color of poop. For some reason, the camera moves in almost every single shot. You may see the camera zoom in, spin around a tower or pan in for an extreme close up. The backgrounds have an incredibly low resolution, to the point where some of them look flat. For example, in the beginning of the movie where the store closes, the interior of the store looks flat. Keep in mind that this movie came out in 2012. I could harp on about the animation, but I think I should move on.
The story and characters aren't much better in comparison. To start with the story, we have the concept. Basically, food mascots come to life at night when the store closes. The concept bares a striking resemblance to that of Toy Story's, only with food mascots. To go along with the concept, the movie uses endless product placements from Charlie Tuna and Mr. Clean to the Vlasic bird. It doesn't make the audience feel grateful seeing all of these advertisements in a movie. As for the story itself, it's very incoherent and there are many scenes that don't make much sense. For example, during the midpoint of the feature, Dex can be seen out in the market during the daytime while customers are shopping and it doesn't make sense as to how he is able to be on the outskirts of the store. There are also these weird sexual innuendos that are noticeable that really do make me question the PG rating. During the midpoint of the movie there is a musical number that is really grating on the ears to the point where I nearly went insane listening to it. None of the jokes hit and come off as cringeworthy. Did I mention that the story is incoherent?
The characters...hoo boy, where do I start with them? I can start by listing them. The doctor does nothing but talk rapidly in the most obnoxious voice possible. Cheasel T. Weasel, aka the poop rat is incredibly over the top with his cartoony movements; heck he has an entire shop hidden inside of him. Lady X is a generic villain who tries to seduce our protagonist, and she also wears very suggestive clothes while doing it. Daredevil Dan is an obnoxious racist stereotype. And then there's Sunshine, who maybe the most likable character in this movie since she isn't annoying. Finally, we have the main character Dex Dogtective. Dex is probably the most interesting character of the movie because of his girlfriend's disappearance. However, that doesn't make him likable. What makes him unlikable is the fact that he spouts out food puns all the time. While this gag doesn't make him unlikable per se, it only makes him look tolerable at best. One last thing I'd like to mention about the characters is the voice acting. Many of them are voiced by talented people such as Charlie Sheen, Wayne Brady and Eva Longoria. However, their voice acting in this movie can range from sub-par at best to bad at worst.
If there is one tiny saving grace to the film, it's that the opening song is actually pretty good. However, it doesn't save this from being a terrible movie.
Don't be fooled, the uncanny animation might seem like the only reason why this movie is so hated on the outside. However, if you dig deeper into the movie, you'll see the real reason why it gets so much hate, it has a nonsensical story, annoying characters and sexual innuendos. Please I beg you, do NOT watch this movie. Don't even get this for your kids, it's too inappropriate for them. Give them something else, ANYTHING else.
I want to be done with this movie forever!
Why didn't I listen to them?!
This is an animated feature about a dog named Dex Dogtective who's played by Charlie Sheen and gets depressed after his girlfriend Sunshine Goodness disappears. After a brand called Brand X, controlled by Lady X begins to take over the food market that he and a bunch of grocery mascots live in, they must fight back.
Where do I begin? The animation is hideous; it's the worst animation ever put to film, I'm not even kidding here. It was originally destined to be in a Looney Tunes style when planned in 2002, but when the film went into production issues, the director decided that they should change the style to motion capture. Seeing these two styles combined makes the movie look unnatural. The animation itself looks ugly from the character designs, to the awful effects, to the backgrounds, the list goes on. Ranging from the human designs to the designs of the mascots, they either look unnatural or uncanny. For example, Lady X looks very plastic like and Cheasel T. Weasel has the color of poop. For some reason, the camera moves in almost every single shot. You may see the camera zoom in, spin around a tower or pan in for an extreme close up. The backgrounds have an incredibly low resolution, to the point where some of them look flat. For example, in the beginning of the movie where the store closes, the interior of the store looks flat. Keep in mind that this movie came out in 2012. I could harp on about the animation, but I think I should move on.
The story and characters aren't much better in comparison. To start with the story, we have the concept. Basically, food mascots come to life at night when the store closes. The concept bares a striking resemblance to that of Toy Story's, only with food mascots. To go along with the concept, the movie uses endless product placements from Charlie Tuna and Mr. Clean to the Vlasic bird. It doesn't make the audience feel grateful seeing all of these advertisements in a movie. As for the story itself, it's very incoherent and there are many scenes that don't make much sense. For example, during the midpoint of the feature, Dex can be seen out in the market during the daytime while customers are shopping and it doesn't make sense as to how he is able to be on the outskirts of the store. There are also these weird sexual innuendos that are noticeable that really do make me question the PG rating. During the midpoint of the movie there is a musical number that is really grating on the ears to the point where I nearly went insane listening to it. None of the jokes hit and come off as cringeworthy. Did I mention that the story is incoherent?
The characters...hoo boy, where do I start with them? I can start by listing them. The doctor does nothing but talk rapidly in the most obnoxious voice possible. Cheasel T. Weasel, aka the poop rat is incredibly over the top with his cartoony movements; heck he has an entire shop hidden inside of him. Lady X is a generic villain who tries to seduce our protagonist, and she also wears very suggestive clothes while doing it. Daredevil Dan is an obnoxious racist stereotype. And then there's Sunshine, who maybe the most likable character in this movie since she isn't annoying. Finally, we have the main character Dex Dogtective. Dex is probably the most interesting character of the movie because of his girlfriend's disappearance. However, that doesn't make him likable. What makes him unlikable is the fact that he spouts out food puns all the time. While this gag doesn't make him unlikable per se, it only makes him look tolerable at best. One last thing I'd like to mention about the characters is the voice acting. Many of them are voiced by talented people such as Charlie Sheen, Wayne Brady and Eva Longoria. However, their voice acting in this movie can range from sub-par at best to bad at worst.
If there is one tiny saving grace to the film, it's that the opening song is actually pretty good. However, it doesn't save this from being a terrible movie.
Don't be fooled, the uncanny animation might seem like the only reason why this movie is so hated on the outside. However, if you dig deeper into the movie, you'll see the real reason why it gets so much hate, it has a nonsensical story, annoying characters and sexual innuendos. Please I beg you, do NOT watch this movie. Don't even get this for your kids, it's too inappropriate for them. Give them something else, ANYTHING else.
I want to be done with this movie forever!