1/10
Simpering sick-making kid survives his suicide attempt
23 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Appalling drivel. Perhaps it should be called 'The Near Death of Jamie Dornan' or 'The Attempted Suicide of Aaron Paul.' 'The Observer' described it as 'a mystery worth solving': the only mystery is how much money Mr Paul was paid for appearing as a cross between 'Swamp Thing' and 'The Elephant Man.' As for being a thriller, it was about as thrilling as three hours of the Welsh Assembly discussing Brexit. It starts like a comedy for not very intelligent 10-year-olds, and then settles in as Mills & Boon with sleepy background music.
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