Director Jibu Jacob calls Mohanlal on the phone.
Jibu: Hello Laletta. How are you?
Mohanlal: I am fine Jibu. How's it hanging?
Jibu: Laletta, I have a script ready for this new film that I'm planning. It is the same old rehashed mediocre rubbish about frustrated middle class people and their problems. In fact, a Biju Menon movie called Anuraga Karikkin Vellam with the same theme was a hit last year. The milieu and even the characters of this film that I'm planning are quite similar to that film.
Mohanlal: Oh great! I love acting in rehashed mediocre rubbish. This is the story of my career since around 1997 onwards.
Jibu: I know. I don't know what talentless hacks like me would have done without the blessings of a talented man like yourself, Laletta.
Mohanlal: What talent Jibu? I have been phoning it in for the last 20 years.
Jibu: OK. While we were writing the script, we did not know how to end it. So we decided to create an ending that recalls Drishyam.
Mohanlal: Wonderful. Frankly, I have no interest in promoting art or good filmmakers. An ending similar to Drishyam sounds good.
Jibu: OK Laletta. That is so heartening. We have even decided to cast Meena as your heroine.
Mohanlal: I see. I must warn you that I have put on quite a lot of weight of late.
Jibu: Oh dear. So has Meena. The film is about a middle class couple falling in love all over again and regaining their sexual prowess. I don't know how the audience would accept a couple of people who look like baby elephants getting it on in bed.
Mohanlal: It's OK. Suspension of disbelief is not new to Malayalai audiences. And Jungle Book did great in India, remember?
Jibu: Very well reasoned Lalettan.
Mohanlal: Thanks.
Jibu: The lead character is a Panchayat secretary and we have added some banal sub-plots about corrupt politicians and locals.
Mohanlal: Great, always give the audience the false impression that they are watching something profound even though its utter crap. Like Yash Chopra said, the audience needs to be treated like small children.
Jibu: That is great advice. We have also decided to include some utterly needless songs which add nothing to the movie.
Mohanlal: I am glad that you continue to propagate the conceit of characters suddenly breaking into songs. This ought to have been obsoleted by now. You have a bright future, young man.
Jibu: Thank you Laletta. The film is a series of banal middle class problems and their resolutions.
Mohanlal: Well, I have always believed that the middle class need to be given a false sense of importance that they actually matter. As an elite man, I believe the middle classes constantly need to be fed with antiquated notions of morality and happiness.
Jibu: That is exactly what I have done. But I forgot to mention that we have written a lot of boozing scenes where the men of the middle class colony meet up every night and get drunk. Is that OK?
Mohanlal: Hmmm. A very interesting addition, If I may say so. People in Kerala have been reduced to drinking at home since the fascist government shut down all the bars. And most colonies might have banned men from getting together on the terrace. Another way of fooling the middle classes that they actually have any freedom left. Malalis cannot handle the truth. Why give it to them? Good ..... good.
Jibu: Do you think this film will work, Laletta?
Mohanlal: Definitely, Jibu mone Malayali audiences will flock like sheep to any moronic family film that propagates family values. Bloody fools!
Jibu:HAHHAHHAHAHA!
Mohanlal: HAHAHAHHAHAHA!
(1/10)
Jibu: Hello Laletta. How are you?
Mohanlal: I am fine Jibu. How's it hanging?
Jibu: Laletta, I have a script ready for this new film that I'm planning. It is the same old rehashed mediocre rubbish about frustrated middle class people and their problems. In fact, a Biju Menon movie called Anuraga Karikkin Vellam with the same theme was a hit last year. The milieu and even the characters of this film that I'm planning are quite similar to that film.
Mohanlal: Oh great! I love acting in rehashed mediocre rubbish. This is the story of my career since around 1997 onwards.
Jibu: I know. I don't know what talentless hacks like me would have done without the blessings of a talented man like yourself, Laletta.
Mohanlal: What talent Jibu? I have been phoning it in for the last 20 years.
Jibu: OK. While we were writing the script, we did not know how to end it. So we decided to create an ending that recalls Drishyam.
Mohanlal: Wonderful. Frankly, I have no interest in promoting art or good filmmakers. An ending similar to Drishyam sounds good.
Jibu: OK Laletta. That is so heartening. We have even decided to cast Meena as your heroine.
Mohanlal: I see. I must warn you that I have put on quite a lot of weight of late.
Jibu: Oh dear. So has Meena. The film is about a middle class couple falling in love all over again and regaining their sexual prowess. I don't know how the audience would accept a couple of people who look like baby elephants getting it on in bed.
Mohanlal: It's OK. Suspension of disbelief is not new to Malayalai audiences. And Jungle Book did great in India, remember?
Jibu: Very well reasoned Lalettan.
Mohanlal: Thanks.
Jibu: The lead character is a Panchayat secretary and we have added some banal sub-plots about corrupt politicians and locals.
Mohanlal: Great, always give the audience the false impression that they are watching something profound even though its utter crap. Like Yash Chopra said, the audience needs to be treated like small children.
Jibu: That is great advice. We have also decided to include some utterly needless songs which add nothing to the movie.
Mohanlal: I am glad that you continue to propagate the conceit of characters suddenly breaking into songs. This ought to have been obsoleted by now. You have a bright future, young man.
Jibu: Thank you Laletta. The film is a series of banal middle class problems and their resolutions.
Mohanlal: Well, I have always believed that the middle class need to be given a false sense of importance that they actually matter. As an elite man, I believe the middle classes constantly need to be fed with antiquated notions of morality and happiness.
Jibu: That is exactly what I have done. But I forgot to mention that we have written a lot of boozing scenes where the men of the middle class colony meet up every night and get drunk. Is that OK?
Mohanlal: Hmmm. A very interesting addition, If I may say so. People in Kerala have been reduced to drinking at home since the fascist government shut down all the bars. And most colonies might have banned men from getting together on the terrace. Another way of fooling the middle classes that they actually have any freedom left. Malalis cannot handle the truth. Why give it to them? Good ..... good.
Jibu: Do you think this film will work, Laletta?
Mohanlal: Definitely, Jibu mone Malayali audiences will flock like sheep to any moronic family film that propagates family values. Bloody fools!
Jibu:HAHHAHHAHAHA!
Mohanlal: HAHAHAHHAHAHA!
(1/10)