North v South (2015)
6/10
Where for art thou.......you soppy caaaahhhhhhnnnntttttt!!!!!
5 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Attempts from two rival gangs/firms/units whatever you want to call them from the South and the North to reach a truce go awry, when one of the Norths best friends gets their throat cut by someone in the South.

Throw in a really wobbly Romeo and Juliet subplot, and you have this weeks big British Crime Thriller. Guy Ritchie still has a lot to answer for eighteen years after Lock Stock..... brought new life to the below par film makers who want to make it to the big time.

Sounds like a film all in its self.

So what you get is a plethora of familiar faces, some that you'd expect to be in this type of film, and others that make the mind boggle. And it does exactly what you'd expect a straight to DVD gangster flick to do.

The old boys are coming to some sort of an understanding, but as soon as you can say 'weren't you two quite big in Hollywood once?' , the young members of the unit did to ruin it by being either a) a bit mouthy, and to quick with a blade, or b) having an affair with a relative from the other unit, which is where the Romeo and Juliet element comes in to it.

Now this element of the film makes the film just laughable in places, and it's biggest mistake, making hard work of what should a have been a plain and simple whodunnit thriller, with a few offbeat characters.

But the makers must have thought 'well that's the same plot as every other gangster film that has been made in the last ten years'. That may be so, but when you have a cast that are so 'familiar' to the genre, your on a win win basis, so don't try to be clever and left field.

These films are meant to be escapism, to see people get tasty with one another, dropping C-bombs like they are going out of fashion and waving guns like the Union Jack at The Last Night Of The Proms.

But it's not the worst film I've seen in this genre, and if your a fan of Berkoff chewing scenery like Godzilla, there is something here for you.

Next time, try not to be too clever......but do try to get Danny Dyer a cameo, he needs something after the Dyer year he's had with movies.........
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